


Let the Fuck ups Be

by Miki_and_company



Series: Water, Salt, and the Time it Takes to Grow Up [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bedsharing, Blind Terezi, Bromance to Romance, Dave isn't popular, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up, Highschool AU, History club, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Neglect, Implied abuse, Indian Karkat, Karkat is in like 5 clubs, Kissing, Lots of buses, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Movie Watching, Past Karezi, Pining, References to pop music, Slow Build, Snow, background rosemary - Freeform, beta friendship, but it isn't focal point, characters with arcs, closet dave, explicit allusions to sex, friend to lovers, implicit physical violence, obliviously gay dave, ok the abuse is a bit more than implied, pretty straightforward depiction of high school, reading club, short and sweet chapters, slice of life narrative, sloppy make outs, social ostracism, story over many months, the betas are so good to each other and their friendship is pure, the dawning realisation that everyone is queer, there is also a background thing with rose and her mom, wordlbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 45,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8473324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miki_and_company/pseuds/Miki_and_company
Summary: Dave had three friends.One moved away, one changed district and one went to private school.Just like that, part of his world crumbled like a card castle under a swift breeze.Maybe someone should get him to open up a bit, lest he explodes?Karkat is a Teacher's pet.He swears a lot, and he sure as heck doesn't like Dave.He's a busy man-- all of these clubs take some time, you know.No time for pity. Maybe some for friendship?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post around tumblr about an high School au in which Dave isn't popular and Karkat isn't emo/reject and I was like. Yes. So, this is my first full-fledged not-one-shot high school au, I might not feel so good about myself on that.  
> Anyway, I took out the big guns and relived the painful, recent years of high school and I deliver you this piece of shit.  
> Enjoy.

 

Karkat stood in the doorway of the staff room. Right in front of him, his History teacher whom he needed to talk to, and another teacher, a woman with pencil-thin lipped. He politely decided to wait for them to pause their chat before interrupting.

“…I found him passed out in the hallway right in front of the locker. I learned later he had told his math teacher he was going to the bathroom. He did not stay unconscious for long, but I did call the nurse and we stayed with him for a while. We eventually found out he hadn’t eaten the whole day. Scratch that. He had eaten barely anything for the whole week.”

“Incredible.”

“And it wasn’t easy to find out. The boy talked and talked but always avoided the question. Kind of like in class, actually. He gets really easily off-subject when I allow him to talk. Which I don’t anymore, because he is a distraction. Though he talks anyway. I had to give him detention at least twice. Anyway, we decide to call at home, we get an answer from his guardian, we explain to him the situation and he told us he didn’t care. Not one bit. He actually wouldn’t care if he had burned the whole school down or not shown himself to a single class.”

“What in the world…”

“In fourteen years of career, I’ve never seen that. With this as his only guardian, I’m actually surprised he isn’t even more of a problem case.”

Okay. Maybe they hadn’t noticed him. Karkat coughed to try and signal his presence.

The History teacher, Mrs. Henry, gave a quick side-glance at the boy, before returning to her discussion.

“I went through his entire file yesterday. It’s actually unremarkable. Average grades around C and B, a couple detentions, mostly for disturbing class time and forgetting to hand in homework, a pretty lonely student, actually. Not shy, however. Nothing else could have indicated such an upbringing except maybe that he lives quite a poor part of town. He came here because of administration shenanigans.”

Karkat leaned on the door frame, crumpled the small piece of paper in his hand and started tapping his foot impatiently.

“I talked to his former teachers. They say they absolutely did take notice of him. With his shades they can’t tell him to take off because he has an official authorization, he’s hard to miss. No one knows why he wears them though. He always has some comment to make in class, rarely raises his hand, sits at the back of the classroom, doodles, never seems to pay much attention most of the time, though his comments contradict that, never takes notes, and he has a hard time finding teammates for group work. Outside of class he apparently rarely hung out by himself though, or so I’ve been told. At least before this year.”

In the doorway, Karkat then decided he wasn’t going to let his teacher babble infinitely before going back to class. He didn’t have all day.

“Uh, Hello? Ma’am…”

Mrs. Henry turned back to him, slightly annoyed but compliant.

“Hello. May I help you?”

“I have this permission slip I need to give you, next week the student council holds a special activity and I will miss the History period…”

She took the slip in her hand, with a nod.

“All right, thank you.”

He turned on his heel, ready to leave, but at the last moment his teacher stopped him.

“Karkat?”

“Yes?”

“You know Dave Strider, right?”

The douche in his History class.

“Well, yeah, from your class…”

“Is he your friend? Or is he a friend of one of your friends?”

Karkat tried to recall for a second. More like half of a second. He knew a lot of people and nobody really hung out with Dave Strider on a noticeable level. Terezi did mention him a couple of time and found him tolerable, as opposed to everyone else ever, but rarely interacted with him.

“No, not really I’m afraid.”

“Do you know any friend of his?”

Dave Strider had friends? That would be news. Wait. Karkat did see him a lot with that glasses guy, the most annoying English partner he ever had. Well, it wasn’t Dave fucking Strider at least, Karkat told himself, even though Dave wasn’t even in his class at the time.

“There is always, uh, John something. John Hubert? Oh, wait, no, his name is John Egbert.”

“John Egbert moved out during the summer, he’s not going to school here anymore,” said the pencil lipped teacher.

“Wait, really?”

For some reason, Karkat felt a bolt of pity for Dave Strider in that instant. His only friend moving out. Wow, that must have been a bitch.

The teacher was reflecting before jumping out of her contemplation.

“Anyway, you can go, I held you here long enough. Have fun with your activity.”

“Thank you,” Karkat said flatly before leaving.

 

He knew very well that the conversation he had eavesdropped was about Dave Strider. A lot of people in school had been talking about that famous incident where Dave-Fucking-Strider, alias “coolkid” (never without the quotation marks, otherwise people might start to believe it wasn’t sarcastic) had fainted in the hallway during his math class. And that now his principal occupation was avoiding teachers left and right trying to get him into “healthy eating habits” and “legitimately talking about what is going on at home”. Karkat didn’t even know these overworked teachers had it in them to care about one painfully average-in-all-regards-except-douchery-guy. Well, they _were_ teachers from a decently funded middle-class white suburban school, weren’t they? Maybe that’s why they had the time to worry about him.

Would they worry, though, if he dressed, talked and acted normally?

Well then maybe he wouldn’t be forever alone in the first place.

Karkat had little overall pity for Dave. He himself was a guy of color in a practically all-white school, openly bisexual, he insulted people on a daily basis and somehow still managed to have a social life. He wasn’t Mr. Universe or anything but he was involved in school activities. Dave had dug his own grave and it wasn’t his fault. Never an ounce of pertinence, out-of-style, and so arrogant he didn’t even bother to go around the pot junkies of the school who would probably have taken him. He had John. Wait, didn’t he have two other friends too? Karkat remembered seeing all four of them eat lunch under the school soccer bleachers last year. Well, he still had those, no?

He shook his head. That was already too many thoughts than the guy was worth. Next subject. About that book he was reading with his reading club…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how awkward these teens are

 

Dave stared at Rose.

Rose stared at Dave.

Then she took a sip of her Starbuck’s chai.

“So, uh, how’s private school,” Dave asked.

Rose shrugged.

“It sucks. The teachers are good, but they expect so much of you, and everyone has a stick up their inefficiently lubed buttocks. Those who don’t are the kind of spoiled kids that complain in their purposefully trashed uniforms about their last vacation in Indonesia while smoking pot they’ll never get in trouble for.”

“You must feel at home then.”

She grinned passive-aggressively at him, the side of the cup having removed part of her black lipstick from her face.

“Very funny, Dave.”

“Funny’s my middle name, you know it.”

He rubbed his fingers against his warm cup of regular coffee. Well, it was still Starbuck coffee. That brand, stuck in between mainstream approval and what would have felt relatively hipster back in 2009 was the favorite of neither Rose nor Dave, but they came to meet there because it was convenient. Dave was more of a Nescafe kind of guy. The disgusting taste of the beverage felt like a sort of sadistic familiarity. But Rose would have never accepted to drink that shit. And he would have never invited Rose at his place.

Anyway, the exact location where they where and why wasn’t important. They were meeting because they might as well, now that he couldn’t see her at school anymore.

Being alone with Rose was always awkward. The sexual/romantic tension kind of awkward. Well, they weren’t dating. They had dated for like a week back in seventh grade and then never felt the need to do it again. But because they were a guy and a girl, and that they hung out in ways that totally suggested “date” to the rest of the world the tension lingered, unescapable. It was just there, in the way the barista handed them their drink, or the way the bus driver went “aww” when they parted with a hug as Dave hopped inside. They were close, and they both knew it, but somewhere in the way they spoke there was this reciprocal “yeah, I’d never date you,” that both hurt and relieved.

Rose nodded.

Oh, wait, there was an awkward silence now, wasn’t there?

Is it normal, Dave thought, to still have awkward silences with a person you’ve known for ten years?

Rose coughed.

“How is it at school for you, now?”

 “It’s fine. Well, it sucks balls without you, or John, or Jade, but I survive.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

“How can you not trust me? I want a divorce.”

“I’m being serious here, Dave. Can you not be serious for five minutes? Enough time, that is, to admit the obvious fact that no, not everything is okay?”

“Well maybe I’m just able to hold myself together despite whatever you think.”

“Have you started making yourself lunches?”

“I get by.”

“You never had lunches, and I know you rarely eat breakfast, I’m just making sure you are trying to at least feed yourself.”

“Thanks for worrying mom, but I’m fine. I got money. See? I bought a fucking Starbuck coffee. I have enough money for that. I’m literally drowning in money. I buy myself lunches.”

Rose gave Dave a skeptical look, but did not insist any more than that.

“Have you seen John or Jade?” she asked instead.

“I’ve texted them but we didn’t have time to meet. Well with John we won’t see him until at least Christmas. Have you seen Jade.”

“We hung out after school last Friday.”

“Oh, Cool.”

“It’s a sad thing that the school districts were changed like that.”

“Don’t tell me about it.”

“So, who do you hang out with? Has anything of note happened since the beginning of the school year?”

Dave shrugged.

“No, not really. I surf between friend groups.”

Rose raised a very skeptical eyebrow.

“Also the teachers have started to obsess over me for some reason. Like I’m some hot filet mignon and they’re a hoard of hungry stowaways who haven’t eaten a good meal in years. I’m just that hot stuff.”

Rose nodded, silent but attentive.

She very well knew Dave wasn’t telling her the whole story.

“Yeah anyway they want me to get into a club.”

“Wait, really?”

“Fucking annoying right. Can’t a guy live in peace for god sake.”

“So, what club do you intend on joining?”

“idk maybe the history club. Doesn’t seem like they do much. Plus history is kind of neat.”

“The History club sounds good.”

She sipped the last of her tea and stood up to throw away her cup. Dave followed her, his cup still in his hand. They exited the shop into the cold outside. It had been raining just minutes earlier, but it wasn’t anymore.

“Do you want to go look at books at the bookstore?” Rose asks.

Dave shrugged.

“yeah, whatever.”

There was a Chapters just two streets down. Just enough distance that when they finally entered the bookstore they could feel relieved by the dry heat inside. Rose walked down the aisles casually as Dave followed her.


	3. Chapter 3

“sup.”

Dave stood in the doorway of the classroom. Inside said classroom were seven students in a desk circle, eating lunch and discussing. Among these students the only one Dave knew was Karkat, but everybody knew Karkat.

There was an eighth empty desk in the circle.

Everyone looked at Dave.

Karkat talked first, because of course he would.

“What do you want?”

“To join the club.”

“You can’t just come in like that, mid-October you douche muffin. Club inscriptions were last month.”

“Tell that to Mrs.Henry,” Dave said as he entered anyway and sat at the empty desk.

The whole group stared at him in awkward silence.

A girl with a blue cat beanie and a harelip whispered into the ear of another girl with really intense hair.

The girl with really intense hair shrugged.

Dave pretended like he wasn’t the complete elephant in the room and kept a straight face.

Karkat was totally about to say something when Mrs. Henry, the history teacher, walked in the room balancing a cafeteria tray.

Then she noticed Dave.

“Oh, Hi Dave. You decided to join us. That’s great. That’s my seat, however.”

The other students did not seem to think this was great at all.

“yeah sorry,” Dave said.

He got up from the seat and just kind of stood there.

Mrs. Henry put her tray filled with a dubious looking meat-vegetable plate, some sort of pudding and a cup of coffee on the eight desk. She then pulled another one, rearranging the circle so Dave would have a place to sit.

Whatever. Few people were ever glad to see him.

“So,” Mrs. Henry started, either oblivious or purposefully ignoring the tension, “Dave will be with us every Thursday from now on. I thought our club could benefit from an extra member, plus, Dave loves History. Don’t you, Dave?”

No need to say my name like that, geez lady, Dave thought.

Instead he said,

“yeah of course i do history is dope.”

“Of course, being in this club implies some extra studying, since we are all preparing for the tournament in April, but it’s also a lot of fun. I am in charge of this club, but Aradia is the president, which means she is responsible for talking in the name of our teams and taking responsibility when I can’t. We don’t have other official positions since the club is rather small. We also have a library.”

She pointed to the battered metal cabinet at the back of the class.

“With you we have three full teams of four, which is great.”

Dave nodded.

“Chill.”

He didn’t even knew there was some sort of tournament that came with this club.

Also Aradia was apparently the girl with the fur coat that passed for hair on her head. Got it.

“Do you even know anything about History and Politics?” Karkat asked.

Dave shrugged.

“Oh Jesus.”

“You can call me Dave.”

Karkat sneered.

“We don’t need you being a smart ass in this club, Strider.”

The other kids avoided looking at him.

“We usually spend the lunch period either having me or one of the student talk about a subject they are good with, while the others take notes, or practicing with buzz quizzes,” Mrs.Henry said.

This was starting to sound like a lot like class.

“Today I was going to talk about the Electoral College. It’s this year’s theme for the tournament.”

Exciting.

Dave nodded.

“Do you have anything to eat?”

“I ate before coming,” Dave lied.

“We usually eat together before starting, so next week don’t be shy and bring your lunch.”

Dave nodded.

Eventually the discussions around him started without him, a mismatch of teasing, nerding out and miscellaneous topics before the teacher got out an actual fucking powerpoint presentation.

It was kind of like class except everybody was listening and commenting freely.

Dave didn’t really comment, but he did learn more about the Electoral College.

He wished it would have been less educative than that, but it was like, whatever.

Maybe then Mrs. Henry would stop being on his fucking heels every class.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Karkat was diligently rearranging the desks as everybody had left when the teacher talked to him.

“Karkat?”

“Yes?”

The tone of her voice was no good.

“What did Dave do to you?”

Karkat felt a bolt of guilt for the way he knew he behaved with Dave. He didn’t really have a good reason for why the guy bothered him. Or rather, he had a thousand reasons he had just put atop a feeling that may or may not have come from what people told him of Dave. But he couldn’t admit that to the teacher.

“I…just…uh, nothing.”

“Then could you at least make an effort to act nice with him? He has it tough at home, and at school too. You don’t have to bully him on top of that.”

“That’s not bullying! What the fuck? I just don’t like him very much! That’s all!”

Karkat realized to late he had sworn in front of a teacher, but with Mrs. Henry she would let it slip.

“Call it what you want, but in any case I think you are getting a bit old for this mean kid attitude. I expected more of you Karkat, I know you are really mature for your age.”

Blah blah blah, junior year, blah blah blah be the bigger man, blah blah blah a good student like you.

Karkat had tuned out most of it.

He got it, he’d watch his behavior around Dave. Maybe the guy wasn’t mediocre because of himself. Poor dude, the world had failed him, etc.

Didn’t change the fact that it was uncanny to look at him and see how it felt at all times he was auditioning for a coolkid remake of _Daria_

“Look, Karkat,” Mrs. Henry sighed. “I’m sorry for having lectured you like this. I understand. There are always people like this in your life that you don’t like. But you are in high school and these feelings are even more irrational than they normally would be, not to mention how they are amplified by group thinking. I have enough experience to tell that Dave is probably a really nice boy, even one that you could get along famously with if you only bothered to give him a chance.”

Karkat nodded, letting her words sink in a bit.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to not let others shape what I think of him,” he finally admitted.

“You can go now,” Mrs. Henry said, satisfied with his guilty pout.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so im on a roll or smt because I keep churning out these chaps at an ungodly speed atm, don't expect that to last too long but yeah enjoy while it lasts.  
> Don't be shy to tell me what you think!

Dave took, and had always taken, the same bus than Karkat to go to school, even if he got out way after him, and had another transfer afterwards.

But for twenty minutes every morning and every night they shared the same space crowded with commuters and high school students.

They never talked to each other.

In the morning when Karkat got on the bus, it wasn’t that crowded and Dave usually sat alone with his music and Karkat passed him to go sit in the back.

Neither thought anything of that.

Well, at least before Karkat got lectured anyway.

The more he thought of it, the more there was an actual…kind of pity? For Dave. Like he started living in his own world to escape a few bad things, then people started judging him and he retreated further into it.

Which was a bit dumb, Karkat had to admit, but had some reasoning to it.

One morning he just. Came next to Dave. Asked if he could sit there.

“Why?” Dave answered, taking an earbud off.

“Who am I to know?!?I’m trying to be nice, here, avoid you to have to sit next to a random commuter? Like, nevermind, I’ll go sit somewhere else, just stay in your corner like always.”

“no wait you can sit here I don’t mind. I was just curious why shouty McTeacherspet was interested in me all of a sudden.”

Karkat sat down.

“I see you think highly of me.”

“Ah, yes, because _you_ so obviously think highly of me.”

Touché.

“Listen, I’m just trying to be nice and you are not making it easy.”

“Sorry for not taking your charitable offer of pity but I happen to have plenty anyway.”

“I’d never pity you.”

“but think about the children.”

“What the fuck?”

Dave had a corner smile.

“All of the poor children in Africa who are starving. Don’t you pity them?”

“Children are starving outside of Africa, too. Some might even be starving themselves right in your local high school.”

Dave gave a chuckle.

“yeah, that was dumb. Shouldn’t have tried to survive on a box of fruit rollups that week. But I keep forgetting to make lunches and the cafeteria food makes me want to throw up just looking at it.”

“How can you even forget to make yourself lunches every single day?”

“Never got into the habit. Last year I had John, Rose and Jade to share with me but now they aren’t there anymore.”

“All three of them? Were they in the neighborhood that got changed district?”

“Well, Jade was. Rose was too, but her mom just transferred her to private school. John moved away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“s’fine”

“I’d invite your pitiful ass to sit with me for lunch but I’m in clubs most of the week.”

“theoretical offer appreciated.”

He smiled again, in a sort of crooked way.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just can’t believe Karkat Vantas of all people is being nice to me.”

“I’m not nice to anybody.”

“My point exactly.”

“People are assholes.”

“yeah.”


	6. Chapter 6

TurntechGodhead started pestering TentancleTherapist

TG: sup rose

TG: you wont believe who started hitting on me today

TT: I somehow doubt that whoever it was had intents to be anything more than cordial to you.

TG: wow rude

TT: I am not judging your attractiveness or popularity, Dave, rather simply the fact that you tend to over read these things.

TG: yeah anyway it was karkat vantas

TT: Oh.

TG: you seem unimpressed

TT: Well, though I may not know him on a personal level, I know it is not unusual to be addressed by him.

TG: yeah but he had only ever talked to john before no

TT: I think Jade knew him a bit. She was not particularly fond of him, though.

TT: Given how poorly he obviously think of us, though, I doubt he was hitting on you, no matter how bisexual he may be.

TG: wait hes bi for real

TT: It is only the most well-known fact in the entire High School.

TG: oh

TT: Do you have a problem with that?

TG: what no i mean i didnt know anyone was out in this school thats all

TG: isnt high school supposed to be like super unforgiving about that

TT: The ways of the Teens are impenetrable.

TT: Also, I am fairly sure there is at least one openly gay guy, one lesbian, and two transgender sophomores in your school at the moment.

TG: uh

TG: and what about your school

TT: Well, there is always me.

TG: wait what

TT: Dave.

TG: what

TT: You truly, seriously need to refine your gaydar.

TG: no i dont im the most gaysensible radar there is out there ill have you know and its not because i dont know everyone in the school that it is defective okay

TT: I will raise my eyebrow at that.

TG: rose we have analyzed enough gay subtext together so that you should not doubt me like that i mean fuck

TT: In any case, what did he tell you?

TG: well idk he sat on the bus next to me and started to spout some nonsense

TG: lets say we skipped the small talk

TG: hes like

TG: nicer than i thought actually

TT: Why did he do that?

TG: i think he was pissed i joined the history club

TG: fucking boring club by the way its like just an extra class

TT: What a Gentleman.

TG: i know right

TG: one day he stares at me like he wants to kill me and the other hes kissing my boots on the bus

TG: i bet he had repressed gay feelings for me all along

TT: I’d still recommend not to rely too much on that belief.

TT: In any case, it is a good thing you have someone to talk at school. I was getting worried about you.

TG: dont worry my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard no exception no deception

TG: cause when they have a taste of the strider it gives their life direction

TG: critics agree ten out of ten for the execution

TG: and the public cries corruption

TG: so just come by and have a taste if you wanna be convinced

TG: That the strider is the real thing

TG: wait that last one didn’t rhyme

TentacleTherapist is an idle chum


	7. Chapter 7

 

Karkat sat next to Dave again the next day.

It was uh. Kind of weird. But once he had gotten his ass on the seat it was kind of hard to go “nevermind” and change seats.

Also maybe it kind of meant that it would become a thing now, sitting next to Dave on the bus.

Also, acknowledging Dave’s existence on Thursdays at the History club.

This was unlikely to go unnoticed. Eh. He socially survived worse actions than this.

“sup.”

“Is that always how you great people?”

“Pretty much yeah. It’s convenient, short, and efficient. Why would I use something else?”

Karkat shrugged.

“I don’t even care. Are you ready for the mini-test today?”

“Wait what mini-test?”

“History.”

“Oh. Uh. Sure, I guess. My body is always ready.”

“You don’t sound ready.”

“I never really do badly in History so I assume this will be no different.”

“Have you ever actually studied for a test?”

“No, not that I recall. I don’t like studying.”

“Nobody does, you fuck. It’s a matter of getting good grades. You know? Getting into a good college, having a well-paying job.”

“And the club is for extra credits.”

“Well, yes, but I also enjoy them.”

“but it’s just studying.”

“It’s for a better cause, and people actually care, there. Well, apart from you.”

“What’s that tournament about, anyway?”

“You don’t know? Every year, in April, we have a two-day tournament in Boston. Since the activity is pretty well supported by the parent association and the government, the trip is only 160$ for each student. Well, that’s what it was last year anyway. It might change this year, but it’ll stay in the same range. It’s a sort of game show except it takes place in some random school and there is no TV broadcasting of it. Teams of four. We go school against other school, and the winning teams get scholarships.”

“oh.”

“But it’s really fun to spend the year with these people who become your friends, and also the hotel is really nice. By the way, Friday next we have a Halloween party with the club, after school. Organized by Mrs. Henry.”

“Really? Why wasn’t I told that.”

“It’s on the facebook group. Nobody bothered to add you, I guess. Do you have facebook?”

“yeah but I never use it.”

“I’ll add you, I guess then.”

“thanks.”

“It’s nothing, it’ll probably just be an hour after school and Mrs. Henry will give us some candy and maybe the principal is going to bother wish us a happy Halloween of sorts.”

“Is there going to be any powerpoint?”

“Oh dear God, no.”

“I told you to call me Dave”

Karkat hit him in the shoulder with a playful frown.

“In what year was passed the 18th amendment?”

“what?”

“I’m preparing you for the mini-test today.”

“oh. Wait. Uh. The 18th amendment was the prohibition, right?”

“Yes.”

“Uh, it was something like 1920.”

“1919. Close.”

“Eh. I got a feel of the era, that’s what’s important, no?”

Karkat rolled his eyes. How did the guy even pass his classes?

“Don’t forget to bring a lunch tomorrow, otherwise Mrs. Henry is going to get at you.”

“Oh yeah shit right. Can you remind me tonight, or tomorrow morning to do that?”

“You have one job, Dave.”

“Please. I’ll give you my phone number.”

Karkat sighed, but handed Dave his phone anyway. Dave quickly entered his contact then gave it back.

“Thanks bro, you’re the real deal.”

He held a fist in the air.

“Since when are we bros?”

“We aren’t yet, but if you bump the fist you will be officiated as such. Come on, don’t leave me hangin dude.”

Karkat sighed and then pressed his knuckles against Dave’s.

“Here u go bro we are now united in holy matrihomie.”

“You are awfully quick to business.”

“You gotta put a ring on them friends, bro, otherwise they flee towards greener pastures.”

“Fist bump or no fist bump I am about as likely to do so.”

“You are tearing me apart, Lisa.”

“What?”

“It’s from _The Room.”_

“Is that a movie?”

“Yeah. Omg you don’t know _The Room_ , you’ve got to watch it sometimes. Cinematic masterpiece.”

“Uh, okay. You like movies?”

“yeah, well, some of them anyway.”

“I like movies a lot. Especially the kind that explore things like the human condition and relationships.”

“Relationships? Like father-son and stuff?”

“Well, yeah, but mostly romantic relationships.”

“Like romcoms? Dude, you are the first guy I meet who describes romcoms as ‘exploring the human condition and relationships’”

“Well, no matter how you put it, that’s how they are. They present you with a diverse range of situations in which romance can occur, and also dwells on what it is, and how important it is to us as humans. I really hate the fact that there is this stigma around them because they are primarily enjoyed by a female audience, because romance is the most beautiful thing about humans and those who deny it are the ones who are truly brain-dead. The subtleties of romance aren’t that easily grasped…”

He shook his head.

“I feel like straight guys like you would benefit so much from them.”

“I don’t know man I just never really felt invested in that shit I guess. _The Room_ is mostly about romance, though.”

“Really? That’s odd that I’ve never heard of it then.”

“Go figure,” Dave smirked.

Also, yeah, there was no denying Karkat wasn’t straight now, just in case Dave still had doubts.

It still kind of felt weird to know. Like, in part because it felt a bit out of place that he talked about it so openly, and in part because that there was a lingering possibility that _a guy_ he knew could theoretically be into him. Not that he was, of course, both Rose and Karkat had been pretty explicit about that, but if he wasn’t, it didn’t have anything to do with gender.

The idea was almost funny.

Dave had done gay jokes in plenty with John, but it always seemed to be something so unrelated to anything that actually existed.

He then thought about his chat with Rose, like, wait. Had she came out to him? Oh my God she totally did. He was an idiot. Also, talk about coincidences.

Okay, Karkat was still talking and every word that came out of his mouth was reinforcing the fact that this guy was completely, unironically into chick flicks and man that was cute. Dave almost felt like watching one, now. (Ironically)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say I've had one of the longest days of my life yesterday, and Today, November 9th 2016 has been terrible from the first second.  
> Needless to say that the face of world politics has changed forever, and not in a reassuring way.  
> I'm young, and this is even scarier to me as it is the first time I witness a change of President with the capacity to know what it means.  
> I know it is hard to even figure that we can resume business as usual. We don't have a choice.  
> I wrote these chapters days ago: get yourself from entertainment, if you need it. Get yourself a break.  
> Don't forget to keep on going afterwards, though.

TurntechGodhead started pestering GardenGnostic

TG: hey jade

GG: hey dave!

GG: how are you?

TG: oh you know fine as usual

TG: s'alright being chill i guess you know how it goes

GG: haha, I bet! It sucks so much to not be able to be with you this year! I’m going to be perfectly honest I kind of really miss you…

TG: fucking right it sucks balls

GG: also isn’t it a bit late to be texting me?

TG: did i wake you up or something

GG: no!

TG: then everythings sugar sweet aint it

GG: I guess…

TG: yeah anyway i bet you’ve got a handful what with your new school and all

TG: preps be flying left and right scared by the awesomeness that you are

GG: actually, I entered the science fair and im starting to make many good friends! Everyone is pretty nice. I’m really sad I can’t see rose anymore though! L

TG: you wont believe it actually

TG: i happen to have graced the history club with my ice cool presence

TG: im subverting nerd culture

TG: gonna make it cool

GG: I don’t doubt that!

TG: i dont doubt that you dont doubt it gurl

TG: im tellin you the next big cool thing is gonna be historical literacy

TG: like im calling mean girls remake and everything

TG: where the plastics go like on wednesday we wear the constitution

TG: thats how entrenched in this bitch i am

GG: hahahaha sooo cool

TG: you know it

GG: yeah…I have to go to sleep now, though. Big day tomorrow!

TG: yeah right tomorrow is Halloween

TG: well tomorrow

TG: like in ten minutes

TG: anyway night i guess

TG: sleep tight

TG: make bountiful dreams

TG: oh and jade

TG: just thinkin

TG: would you happen to be gay

TG: by pure coincidence

TG: like dont take it badly or anything

TG: or like

GardenGnostic is an idle chum!

TG: oh dammit

 

 

 

CarcinoGenetiscist started pestering TurntechGodhead

CG: WAKE UP YOU NEED TO MAKE YOURSELF A LUNCH

TG: oh hey morning

TG: so you held your promise after all

TG: that’s the sign of a good bro right there

TG: i knew i could trust you

CG: SHUT UP AND GO MAKE YOURSELF SOME FOOD.

TG: yeah yeah right no need to shout damn

CG: I’M NOT SHOUTING.

TG: whats with the caps then

CG: THIS IS HOW I TYPE

TG: why though

CG: WHY DO YOU TYPE IN ALL LOWERCASE?

TG:  because i have exactly all of the chill that you dont

CG: YOU KNOW TEREZI?

TG: no

CG: SHE’S ONE OF THE KIDS FROM THE DISABILITY CLASS, SHE’S BLIND AND SHE’S ALSO MY EX GIRLFRIEND

TG: oh ok

TG: whatever this has to do with anything

CG: SHE LIKED IT WHEN I TYPED ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE WAY HER COMPUTER READ IT SHE THOUGHT IT SOUNDED LIKE ME MORE.

CG: NOW IT’S A HABIT AND I FEEL REALLY WEIRD TYPING LOWERCASE.

TG: now that i think about it you are quite loud dude

TG: yeah all uppercase suits you

TG: even without some computer voice reading it out loud

CG: DAVE YOUR LUNCH.

TG: oh yeah right

TG: i didnt forget

TG: now lets see what is edible in this fucking place

TG: there might be leftover burrito from last night

TG: oh man wont you look at that i found a fresh bottle of aj

TG: its like motherfucking Christmas up in here

TG: except with more pumpkins

CG: WHAT PUMPKINS?

TG: halloween pumpkins

TG: you know because seasonal holidays

TG: halloween today

TG: Christmas but with more pumkins

TG: holy fuck bro this wasnt even obscure or anything

CG: OKAY, WHATEVER.

TG: what are you going to wear as a costume for the party 

CG: DAVE YOUR LUNCH.

TG: im doing it

TG: and typing at once im like a multifunction kind of guy you know

TG: shit i think bro took all of my leftovers shit

TG: i guess ill get myself something on the way

TG: get a twenty in the couch somewhere

CG: WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY IN A COUCH CRACK?

TG: um because thats usually where bro puts the money i am supposed to buy my food with

TG: i retrieve it when his ass is not monopolizing the bitch

TG: sound system

CG: SOUNDS WEIRD, MOSTLY.

TG: eh its bonding stuff

TG: dont worry about it

CG: OKAY, WHATEVER, I DID MY JOB HERE.

TG: wait you didnt tell me what you were going to be for the Halloween party tomorrow

CG: I DON’T CARE, I BOUGHT SOME SHITTY KIT LAST SUNDAY WHY WOULD ANYONE BE ZEALOUS ABOUT THAT?

TG: idk most people i know do

TG: rose spends like two fucking months on hers every year

TG: john goes through eight choices then always settles on candy corn vampire

TG: jade usually goes as any variation on dog

TG: last year i went as jesus

TG: but thats not ironic enough

TG: this year im going as sexy nurse

CG: OH FUCK YOU JUST GAVE ME THAT MENTAL IMAGE I WANT TO BARF

TG: youll have way more than a mental image tomorrow big boy

TG: wink wink

CG: SEE YOU IN THE BUS.

CarcinoGenetiscist stopped pestering TurntechGodhead


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update because why not.

The second Zorro locked glare with that sexy nurse, said sexy nurse knew he would not live to tell the tale.

“Hola, Zorro.”

“Usted es una puta, Strider.”

“No hablo Spanish though”

“Yes, I can see that.”

“But I am pleased to know you think I look like a bitch, it was kind of the intended goal.”

Nepeta, the girl with the harelip, dressed as a cat, came to Karkat.

“Oh my, Karkitty, how ameowzing you look!”

Karkat nodded politely.

“Thanks, nep.”

Dave felt a bit awkward around Nepeta, mostly because of how obvious her crush on Karkat was, and because of what Karkat had told him he thought about said crush.

It was reciprocal. Nepeta didn’t know how to act around him either. He felt she didn’t want to be mean, but she didn’t exactly have the drive to go against the crowd and socialize with him either. She didn’t know why Karkat had started to talk to Dave either.

The person, apart from Karkat who was the nicest to Dave in the History club was Aradia, who was a senior and did not give two shits about the weird kid stigma.

The others were…just globally avoidant, maybe a bit condescending, but never really rude.

“Cool costume,” Dave added.

“It was the last one left. Apart from a princess gown.”

“Mmm…while the princess gown would have looked amazing, this isn’t too bad.”

“Just tell me where the fuck are the candy,” Karkat sighed.

“Right here!” Aradia passed with a bowl full of an assortment of miniature Maynards treats.

“Sweet,” Dave said as he stuffed five bags in his tank top.

“Mrs. Henry is gone, she went at the reception to order pizza. I hope you are okay with all dressed or cheese?”

“yeah sure whichever”

“Splendid! That’s what we always order anyway.”

Dave turned to Karkat.

“You didn’t tell me there would be pizza.”

“I forgot. It is really kind of a default thing for club events? I don’t know much which is unanimous among high school students than pizza.”

“I am not one to frequent many club events.”

“The reading club will be here as well,” Nepeta said.

“Really? They’re coming, in the end?”

“Well, Terezi, mostly, and maybe Tavros. The rest of us is purretty much already here.”

She nudged Karkat.

Then Mrs. Henry came back, balancing four pizza boxes on her arms and a girl with a Greek tunic, a blindfold and a blind cane behind her.

“Hey!”

“Hi Tez,” Karkat and Nepeta said in unison.

Upon closer inspection, her tunic was just a sheet draped over an ordinary black t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

“Tavros can’t come,”

“Oh, that’s sad!” Aradia said.

“Hi,” Dave said.

“Greetings, random stranger,” Terezi answered.

“I’m Dave strider.”

“ _The_ Dave Strider?”

“yeah. Didn’t know I was famous but hey.”

“Glad to meet you, I’m blind justice.”

She held out her hand to shake his, and he high fived her. She smiled and put up her fist. Hell yeah. Dave added a fist bump.

“Heard a lot about your shtick, coolkid. I think you’re pretty neat.”

Dave was a bit shook by that sort of statement he wasn’t used to, and nodded before realizing that didn’t do much.

“Uh, yeah, thanks.”

“Can I sniff you? It’s a usual thing I do with new people.”

“yeah sure why the fuck not.”

She came up to him and sniffed his shoulder before wincing.

“Verdict: maybe try a shower dude? I mean a little musk ain’t that bad but JESUS.”

Karkat actually spit out the candy he was idly chewing on with laughter.

“Well, at least she’s honest,” Dave admitted.

“Though I doubt the Strider scent could be unpleasant in any quantity whatsoever.”

Terezi put a hand on his shoulder.

“Shower, dude, Shower.”

Dave felt a bit embarrassed, most people were either staring or pointedly avoiding his general direction, but he kept his calm.

“You got it.”

“Good.”

“Anyone wants Pizza?” Aradia amiably put everyone out of their misery.

“hell yeah.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which AXE brand body spray is burned bad

 

It was dark and rainy as fuck. An awful evening to trick or treat, actually. Poor kids.

Well, it was nearly eight o’clock and trick or treating was over anyway. The only people out were Karkat and Dave, sheltered at the bus stop. They would have to wait in the dark for fifteen minutes still, their bus did not come as often outside of rush hours.

All of the other kids had a lift, Aradia had a car. Dave imagined Karkat could have hopped on someone’s ride home, but he didn’t, for whatever reason.

So the both of them were there, Dave shivering. He had put a jacket over his outfit, but his legs were still exposed to the elements. Karkat had limb-covering clothes and his polyester cape, and did not seem to suffer as much.

In any case, Dave would just discretely rub his legs together and have his hands crossed on his chest, trying to think about something else.

He fixated on the way the street lamp made the wet street glister, lost in his train of thought when Karkat talked to him.

“I’m really sorry about Terezi,” he said.

Dave snapped out of his daydreaming.

“Huh?”

“What Terezi said. About your smell and everything. She’s just…like that. Doesn’t hold back too much from saying what she thinks. You don’t even, like, smell _that_ bad, I mean…”

“Just a little bad?”

“Well, it’s not like I spent time actually smelling you, you lampface. But everybody smells bad in high school. It’s called puberty.”

“You don’t smell bad. Maybe that’s why people like you despite your weird tantrums.”

“Did you just admit to sniffing me Dave Strider?”

“Oh come on don’t pretend like you don’t spend hours in Bed, Bath& Beyond trying every single product to get the one that will make your potential soul mate swoon with a subtle yet noticeable trademark scent. I don’t know how you got an _Eau de Toilette_ that smelled like fresh laundry but you did also maybe it’s just your regular laundry now that I think about it, anyway it’s a good one and you know it.”

“European detergents. They’re not very common here but they smell the best. Also, _Sea Cotton_ is the perfume product that smells the closest to laundry, but it’s just a body mist. And I don’t _really_ use it that often. I mean. It’s not like it means…anything. I just personally think laundry smells better than AXE body spray.”

“Oh man fuck AXE body spray I’d rather smell like the sweaty teen strider I am than like AXE body spray.”

“We agree on one thing.”

“I’m going to have one lengthy discussions with my friends about sparring dignity and stuff. Someone should have told me earlier, seriously. I wouldn’t have taken it badly. I mean, I’m taking it pretty damn well right now and I’ve basically been told to take a shower by a stranger in front of a group of peers who dislike me.”

He shook his head before adding.

“Not cool.”

Karkat laughed uncomfortably.

“Yeah…I’m really, really sorry about that, like, I think Terezi like you and everything, it’s just kind of her humor, and, uh, she acts around everybody as if she had known them for years. She can’t read facial cues, either.”

“I don’t think she would have read much from my face anyway. But, like, don’t make excuses, I have no grudge against her. I think I may have done worse things in the past.”

“Like what?”

“Nuh-uh, not mentioning that. Gotta keep up the brand.”

“What brand? Hypothermic stoic bad decision maker?”

“Exactly.”

Zorro made some exasperated facial expressions at the sexy nurse from under his mask.

The sexy nurse wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Zorro.

Zorro punched the sexy nurse’s shoulder.

That made half of the candy stuffing in the sexy nurse’s chest fall out of the tank top he was wearing.

“Fuck,” They said in unison.

As they scrambled on the ground to try and gather everything, the bus came up to them and Karkat actually had to go and tell the driver to wait for a minute before Dave finally entered arms filled with mini-bags of Swedish berries, Fuzzy Peach and sour patch kids, Tank top revealing most of his chest.

They sat, laughing from the glare the driver gave them before going “whatever” and just going on with her route.

“I’ve got to tell you Dave, you are less insufferable than I first thought you were.”

“This is the nicest thing anyone ever told me bro.”

“Oh shut it,” Karkat stuffed a candy bag into Dave’s mouth.

He also took the opportunity to discretely smell him. (What? All this talk about scent had gotten him curious)

Yeah, Dave smelled like a sweaty teen. Really strongly, when you actually took the time to notice it. But, somehow, he felt like sniffing it again. Sort of like that god awful Gingerbread Christmas candle that got lit around his house every Christmas and that smelled so sweet it made him queasy, but that he couldn’t help from filling his nostrils fully with every time he passed by.

Dave didn’t smell like ginger, but whatever.

He understood his comparison.

“By the way,” He said, remembering, “I couldn’t find _The Room_ on Netflix, is it an older flick? Do you have it on dvd or something?”

Dave bit his lips to keep a straight face.

“nah bro, but I do know how to get it, I can send you the link or like maybe we can go to your place to watch it sometimes, I really want to see your reaction to it.”

Karkat crunched his nose, skeptical.

“Yeah. I am starting to doubt it even _is_ a serious movie.”

“Hey it’s not my fault you don’t know how to use google. Besides, it _is_ a movie totally worth watching.”

“Ironically, or…?”

“Of course, ironically. I mean, come on dude.”

Karkat sighed.

“Well then I guess it’s better if I watch it with you, at least one of us will be enjoying it. Though if we are to do it, I also get to make you watch a movie of my choice.”

Dave looked at him with a puzzled semi-expression for a while before Karkat realized he was totally flirting with him. Oops. That wasn’t really intended.

He had no time to waste hitting on straight guys anyway, like, come on.

Straight guys often thought he had though, so with a roll of his eyes, he added,

“No homo, if that’s what you are worrying about.”

“Well, no, what? I’m not worrying about that. I mean.  I’m kind of the one to have proposed it first so…I mean, yeah, sounds like a plan.”

Really cool, Dave, we almost couldn’t hear the gay panic in your voice. He felt a bit guilty for having his mind immediately jump to the conclusion that Karkat was pulling a move on him, despite the fact that it, like _wasn’t_  possible, right? Well theoretically, it was possible, but not only was Karkat Bi and not gay (which meant he didn’t see him especially as a potential romantic partner), but Karkat knew _he_ wasn’t gay (because he had said nothing to a comment from Karkat that assumed him to be straight), and that also he stinked, and wasn’t a very good catch for a guy who could basically get himself anyone in this damned school. Because let’s admit it even all of the straight guys and that one lesbian Rose mentioned would fawn over one word of this lil’ buck toothed, over-enthusiastic guy with a singing accent he tried to repress.

But yeah, it was established then, no homo would take place.

Dave was just glad he had more or less established a liable friendship with someone for once.

Maybe he could even stop spending lunch periods alone.

Oh wait, that’s right Karkat had like sixty clubs.

“Karkat?”

“Yeah?”

“What clubs are you in? Do you really never eat at the cafeteria?”

“Well, on Mondays I have student council, on Wednesday I have reading club and on Thursdays I have History club. One week on two I tutor on Fridays, so I actually have free lunch periods on Tuesdays and half of my Fridays, if I don’t count special events.”

“Uh, that’s, uh, wow.”

“I didn’t want to clog up my schedule too much, so I gave up Aikido after school on Fridays.”

“Yeah you wouldn’t want to lack time for studying.”

“Exactly.”

“You’re a nerd.”

“Shut up, Cooldouche.”

“You totally are though.”

“What’s the shame in that?”

“Nothing, I guess.”

“Exactly. Then shut up.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for dave will come a time of realizing stuff.

TurntechGodhead started pestering TentacleTherapist

TG: oh my god rose are you gay rose you need to tell me

TT: Hello, Dave.

TT: I appreciate the way you greet people.

TT: To answer your question, perhaps? Well, I’m not straight, that’s for a fact, I like girls, but the rest is a little blurry if I am being perfectly honest.

TT: You can say for the time being I identify as queer.

TG: oh my god

TG: well not like it’s a bad thing or anything rose i accept you completely hugs and finger guns wink and sincere profession of compassion and all

TG: but jesus rose

TG: why is everyone i know so gay all of a sudden

TG: like has the gay fairy come and sprinkled a bit of her magic rainbow dust all over this town or what

TT: If by “gay fairy” you mean “puberty” and “the collective dawning realization that straightness is not as default as one might think,” then yes.

TG: well its

TG: kind of cool i guess

TG: like all that joking around about everything being so gay becoming true

TG: its like believing in santa ironically knowing hes not real and then one day finding out he is

TG: reverse childhood disillusion

TG: dope as fuck

TG: soon enough ill be walking among a permanent pride parade of rainbows and shit

TG: lol

TT: You get used to it. The novelty wears off.

TG: does it though

TT: No, not really.

TG: well i guess itll wear out for me too bad im not more into sucking cock amirite

TT: Dave.

TG: what

TT: Please don’t.

TG: wet blanket

TT: I’ll sugar whoop your ass with my magic rainbow gay dust.

TG: aw yisss

TG: that milkshake gonna bring all them gays to the yard

TG: shake it shake it

TentacleTherapist stopped pestering TurntechGodhead

 

GardenGnostic started pestering TurntechGodhead

GG: what? :?

GG: what do you mean “am I gay?” :o

TG: well do you dig chick ass

TG: crave the clam

TG: play for the other team

TG: are you into girls jade

GG: well…ive never thought about it. i don’t think so, no. :/

GG: i mean girls are pretty but like…does it mean anything, really?

TG: heck if i know

GG: is it really important? Why are you asking me this?

TG: oh just like that

TG: getting to know you you know

GG: oh

GG: okay!

GG: are you gay?

TG: no

TG: course not

GG: oh, nice! I was afraid you wanted to tell me something there for a minute.

GG: not that there would be anything wrong with that! Just, uh, I’m glad you are being honest with me!

TG: yeah thanks for your theoretical support i guess

TG: have you talked to rose recently or

GG: yes! I chat with her every day!

TG: ok did you know that she

TG: uh

TG: you know what nevermind

GG: ?

TG: my thought just flew away like a flock of crows

TG: can you believe that

TG: these bastards

TG: flying away with what i was going to say

TG: yeah anyway

TG: is shits still banging with you

GG: yeah, I’m working really hard on my science project!

GG: I’m doing it on supernovas! My teacher thinks this is one of the best project they’ve seen in years!

TG: oh man thats awesome

TG: i can totally see you become an astronaut and shit

TG: the first woman on pluto

TG: you know because pluto is also a dog

TG: and you like dogs

GG: hehe youre funny :D

TG: that wasnt that funny but hey aint going to turn down someone who can finally appreciate the strider charm am i

TG: that would be deceiving the fans

TG: being a dishonor to my awesomeness

TG: id have to hara kiri the shit out of my pride

GG: hehe, yeah, anyway Iv got to work on my project! Its been good talking to you!! I hope we can see each other soon :D

TG: see ya

GardenGnostic stopped pestering TurntechGodhead


	12. Chapter 12

 

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: hey sup

CG: HELLO

TG: so uh

TG: how are you

CG: I’M FINE.

TG: oh that’s good

TG: um

TG: did we have something to do for next history class

CG: NO, NOT ANYTHING THAT I HAVE NOTED.

TG: oh ok

TG: good

TG: thats good shit

TG: solid shit right there

TG: howd your minitest go

CG: IT WENT FUCKING SWELL, DAVE. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

TG: oh yeah it went well enough i guess

TG: ill see when i get it back i guess

TG: anyway uh

TG: you good

CG: NOT ANY WORSE THAN FIVE MINUTES AGO, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.

TG: yeah now that you mention it

TG: that sounds about right

TG: anyway i guess uh

TG: there are a few exams this week but after that its going to be kind of more quiet

TG: and i was kind of wondering if you wanted to see the room or something

TG: maybe we could hang out uh crash see each other you know

TG: before we forget it

CG: OH. YEAH. WELL, I’M BUSY NEXT WEEKEND EXCEPT ON THE FRIDAY, SO IF YOU WANT TO COME AT MY PLACE AFTER SCHOOL THAT WOULD BE THE TIME.

TG: oh yeah man that sounds great

CG: WE HAVE A MEDIA ROOM.

TG: ill be there

TG: maybe i can uh

TG: like engrave the thing on a dvd or something

TG: hope youre ready for some high intensity drama action dude

CG: YEAH, WHATEVER, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU BACK DOWN FROM YOUR PROMISE TO WATCH ONE OF MY MOVIES AFTERWARDS

TG: whats it gonna be

CG: MAYBE I’D RATHER KEEP IT A SURPRISE.

TG: is it going to be love actually

CG: NO.

TG: is it going to be eat pray love

CG: I’M NOT TELLING YOU DAVE, STOP BEING A FUCKING BABY ENQUIRING ABOUT HIS CHRISTMAS PRESENT BECAUSE MY MOUTH IS SEALED WITH CRAZY GLUE.

TG: oh damn

TG: well

TG: see you friday i guess

CG: TECHNICALLY BEFORE THAT, BUT YES, SEE YOU ON FRIDAY AS WELL.

TurntechGodhead stopped pestering CarcinoGeneticist


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update cause they are very short chapters. The next one is longer, though.

Reading club on Wednesday.

That’s where and when Karkat saw Terezi the most, these days. That’s also where he decided to confront her about what she had said.

This period was more or less a free period, he had decided as president. Time to catch up on the reading, discuss a bit, no stress as long as they finished _Promise_ by next week. He sat next to Terezi. Nepeta wasn’t far away from them, but she had been a witness to the scene anyway so he didn’t care if she overheard.

“Tez.”

“Yeah?”

“About last Thursday…”

“Yeah?”

“It was kind of mean, what you said to Dave Strider.”

“Oh, come on, it was a joke! I love that dude, and you know it.”

“I know that you like him, but _he_ doesn’t know that. And, fuck, please don’t tell me that I sound like my brother, or I’m going to strangle you.”

“Well, what was I supposed to tell him? He smells fine, if that’s what he’s worried about. Not as good as you, but not as terrible as half of this fucking school. Do you even know what toll it takes on my nose to spend so much time in a high school full of sweaty teens? It’s hell, let me tell you. Also, since when do you defend Strider? Didn’t you hate him?”

“Hate is a strong word…”

“Every time his name came up you would just babble about how much of a useless piece of filth he was.”

“That was mean of me. I’m trying to fucking make amends here! Turns out Dave is not as much of a dog brained emo wannabe as I first thought he was. Happy? I’m talking to him, now. You should at least consider a proper fucking apology, you stubborn prick.”

“ooh, I love it when you call me a stubborn prick, baby.”

Karkat rolled his eyes.

“God, Terezi, please stop it.”

“Oh, all right, but if you start having a crush on the Strider be careful because I don’t know if he swings your way.”

“I know better than to have crushes on straight boys, Fuck. Besides, if I were to, I’d choose someone else than that douchemuffin in shades.”

“Mh-mh,” Terezi simply answered.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw I don't have a beta reader or anything, so if you see typos or weird sentences, please comment so I can fix them!

What kind of stupid fucking ass was Dave?

Like, why did he ever thought that watching a shitty movie would be a good thing with Karkat?

Yes, it was hilarious to him, but Karkat was a “normal” guy, and though Dave had sworn to never change his way to make friends, he was seriously reconsidering that position.

Loneliness becomes less noticeable with time, but you never really get used to it.

Karkat was sending him coy smiles, flooded by the commuters in the bus.

Five stops later Karkat exited, and Dave followed him.

It was a nice suburban neighborhood with 70’s style bungalows and clean sidewalks. The lawns, though mostly depleted by now, seemed to have been the type to be bright green in the summer. No surprises, Dave passed through the neighborhood every day in the bus.

Karkat’s house was a two-minute walk from the bus stopped and looked no different than any of the other houses. If asked to recognize it on sight, Dave could probably not be able to do it.

Inside, it was neat and wooden.

As they were removing their shoes in the entrance Karkat asked him if he wanted to eat something before going to watch the movies.

Dave said no. He was a bit hungry, but most absolutely not comfortable enough in this household to ask anything from it.

Karkat shrugged and headed downstairs.

Dave followed him.

He tried to justify what was to follow.

“Uh…just so I’m clear here, _The Room_ is a shitty movie, okay? It’s enjoyable if you are able to laugh about the bad acting and terrible plot line but otherwise….I mean just so you don’t hate me for it or..”

“Dave, I was fully fucking aware of that the moment you mentioned it.”

“But…you searched for it on Netflix?”

Karkat shrugged.

“Hm-hm,”he said, cryptic.

Dave was puzzled.

“So, shithead, you’ve got the movie, yes or no?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dave said as he retrieved an untitled DVD pocket from his backpack.

He slipped it in the blue ray reader under the large (54”? 64”? Dave wasn’t exactly an expert in TV measurements) flat screen.

Karkat had retrieved in a comfy sidelean on the mud-colored couch. Dave sat on the other side of it.

He noticed the speakers for a surround sound system, and looked at the Ikea shelves filled completely with thin movie boxes. Having actual physical copies of movies was a sort of weirdly cool thing to Dave.

“This DVD better not fuck up the reader, because otherwise I WILL blame you and I WILL hate you.”

“Oh come on I know my shit dude, I’ve tested this copy of the movie and everything.”

“Hm-hm.”

“What’s with these ‘Hm-Hm’? Are you suddenly out of dialogue?”

“I’m waiting to see this movie before ranting to you properly.”

“Don’t worry dude you can rant to me whenever.”

“Fuckin glad to know.”

The movie began to play, credits rolling over miscellaneous shots of San Fransisco.

Then the first scene happened.

Karkat immediately turned to Dave, and silently mouthed to him “I hate you.”

Dave bit his lip, both trying not to laugh and out of some regret.

As the movie went on, Dave kept mostly a straight face whereas Karkat spent the whole thing burying his head in his hand every five minutes, commenting on the film and, quite frankly, trying not to laugh at how bad the acting was.

“You know what Tommy Wiseau fucking reminds me of, Dave? You. Like, you take out the accent and you’ve got your level of emoting right there on the screen.”

Under normal circumstances, Dave would have given his complete commentary of the film, he was the kind of guy to have a say on every line, every actor, every prop in every movie, but he was just too busy observing Karkat react very intensely to every shot.

Karkat was doing most of the commentary.

“Who’s that kid? What was that scene for? Okay, this guy is the most clueless shit in the universe. ‘I mean the candles…the music…the sexy dress…I mean what’s going on here?’ TAKE A FUCKING HINT YOU MORON.”

By the end of the movie Karkat was actually crying legit tears in between two desperate chuckles and a breathy facepalm.

“I’ve got to admit watching you watch this movie was an intense journey,” Dave said.

“Fuck you,” Karkat half-hearted, face in his hands.

“I think you’ve had a good time.”

“This was the worst movie of my life.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Fuck you, in case I hadn’t said it enough.”

“You said it.”

Karkat got up and stretched.

“I have to go to the bathroom, and get myself a soda before we move on to the next flick, want anything?”

“Uh…have you got apple juice?”

“Probably.”

“Can I get some?”

“Yeah, sure,”

Karkat left, leaving the room’s door slightly open and Dave to awkwardly look around the room. Apart from the sofa, the TV and the couch, there was in the room a pile of transparent boxes filled with old toys and a coffee table with a small elephant figurine on it.

Without thinking too much, he picked it up and turned it in his hands, observing the way the little gold-colored thing was decorated, painted on the forehead and the back with bright orange and pink.

When the door swung open he rushed to put it back on the coffee table, but the Karkat with in each hand a glass obviously saw him and commented,

“Yeah, that’s from India. We try to be lowkey and everything but we still kept a few knick knacks. It’s not too embarrassing, I guess.”

“It’s not embarrassing, it’s pretty cool, actually,”

“Thanks,” Karkat said, handing him a plastic glass with red motifs filled with apple juice.

He then placed his own glass on the coffee table and crouched in front of the DVD library, carefully looking at the titles.

“Mmmm….what can I show you that will annoy your precious masculinity the most…”

“I figured you would have chosen already.”

“I had, obviously, though now after having watched your movie I am simply reconsidering everything.”

“Hit me with your worst.”

“You wish. No, honestly, whatever I put, I think you should enjoy it. If you take out your head out of your ass for 90 minutes.”

He lifted his head slightly, and, hesitating, added,

“I…I mean I can understand why you enjoyed that god awful movie of yours. You obviously enjoy pissing off people, the connection is logical.”

“um…thanks?”

“How about _Kate and Leopold?”_

“I don’t know that movie.”

“It’s about this old-timey inventor nobleman, Leopold, played by Hugh Jackman who travels forward in time because of the ex of Kate, played by Meg Ryan, and though their identities and cultural norms clash, they meet and manage to learn from one another anyway. It’s a really nice story with a powerful message.”

“Whatever man I’m always down for wolverine and time travel.”

“Splendid.”

Karkat put the DVD in the slot, handing back _The Room_ to Dave.

Dave just kind of left the warm naked DVD on the coffee table. He could put it back in its place later.

Karkat went back to sit on the couch, bent over to reach for a hidden blanket he wrapped himself into. His face was a bit nervous and a bit anticipative. Dave was cold, too, but just decided to content himself with the warmth of the spot he was sitting in, rearranging his legs that were aching a bit.

The clock on the DVD player read 6:35. He was starting to get hungry, but it was, like, whatever.

Dave quickly noticed that Karkat was looking at him every 5 minutes to gauge his reactions, so he forced himself to lock his eyes to the screen and actually pay attention to everything. It was like blah blah blah plot contrivance blah blah blah butter vs margarine blah blah blah holy shit Hugh Jackman is kind of hot no wonder Karkat likes this movie.

Like in his old-timey gown with the way he’s just passionate about everything and throwing romantic gesture after romantic gesture at Meg Ryan.

Dave had to force away a smile after realizing how exactly Karkat enjoyed this movie and how much of a mushy heart that made him.

You know what? Dave kind of really, really wanted to be good friends with Karkat now.

There was just this thing about him that was different from what Dave was used to, and it felt good, and he wanted more of it.

Who cared if he had to go through the stupidest movies to be his friend? like he wasn’t already doing that by himself anyway. Well, not romcoms, but stupids movies of all sorts for sure.

When the credits rolled, Dave realized he really needed to pee. He lift himself up, legs a bit wobbly, and shyly asked for directions to the bathroom.

When he got out, Karkat escorted him upstairs.

There was a person that Dave supposed to be Karkat’s dad. He said something Dave wasn’t exactly sure was English.

Karkat had a chat with him, then turned to Dave,

“My dad wants to know if you want to stay for dinner. They already ate, but there is enough food left for the both of us.”

“yeah, sure,” Dave knew there wouldn’t be any food left for him at home, and he was hungry.

Karkat opened the fridge in the kitchen and got out a Tupperware full of some sort of stew.

“What is it?”

“Something we made with what was left in the fridge, apparently.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t fall on the Fridays we actually order food, but I guess it’ll have to do.”

The stew was red-brown, a mixture of meat, veggies, and actually looked pretty appetizing to Dave.

After being put in a bowl-plate and microwaved, they ate right on the counter, sat on wooden stools.

Through the patio door it was impossible to see anything.

“It’s so dark,” Dave said.

“Well, that’s normal, no?”

“yeah, but it’s like not even that late.”

“It’s nearly eight. We passed daylight saving time. It’s dark at like five these days.”

“yeah. You’re right. I’m just not used to it yet.”

“Do you want me to ask my dad for a lift home?”

Dave shook his head.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Well, I can go with you to the bus stop and wait with you at least.”

“That’d be pretty cool, thanks.”

After they finished, Karkat rinsed their plates and put them into the dishwasher while Dave packed his stuff.

The streets were dark, but not scary. Houses left and right had lights open, and it was possible to look clearly at many families going on about their everyday business. It was kind of cold, and the winds blew through Dave’s jacket and into his system, but with a few deep breaths he was able to chase the feeling away. He felt so oddly satisfied by the evening, and it was with regret that he left. On the bus stop, Karkat agreed with his feeling.

“It was kind of fun, I’ve got to admit,” he said. “We’ve got to do something like that again some other time.”

“yeah, it would be sick. I mean, I don’t think we can do anything at my place because it’s really small and a mess and shit, but, like, we’ve got to see each other some time.”

“Maybe Sunday? I mean, tomorrow I’ll do my homework and everything, but Sunday I was thinking of hanging out downtown and if you want you can always join me…I’m just saying, you don’t have to accept or anything…”

“yeah sure Sunday why not?” Dave shrugged.

The bus arrived.

“Well, see you on Sunday then,” Karkat said as Dave entered the bus.

“Yeah,” Dave smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pro-tip on how to end a chapter:  
> just kind of go "I'm tired of this scene, there isn't much more I have to say about it."

Karkat was watching a movie with Dave in his apartment, when suddenly he got up and told Dave to wait for him. Dave said nothing as Karkat entered his bedroom, though he felt quite nervous, as if he had something to hide there. But his mouth was shut, if he talked it would disturb the movie, and if he did that Karkat would be angry.

So the clock ticked aggressively, and he kept his eye on the screen. On the screen there was Rose. She was laughing along with Jade, petting her hair. He felt out of place, for a moment, as if he should have been the one on the other side of the screen. Then Rose snuck up behind him and he jumped really hard. “Hi, Dave,” she was saying. No,no,no,no, she couldn’t be there, Karkat was in his room and he wanted to show him something. Go away, he tried to tell her, but instead she gripped him from behind and tried to make him put on her black lipstick. He struggled, not letting himself be taken. What the fuck was she doing? He asked her to stop, begged her to stop, he looked up and it wasn’t Rose anymore. It was Terezi. And she was laughing at his struggle.

Then Karkat came out of the room, dressed as Leopold, from _Kate and Leopold,_ told her to go away and she did, because it was him. Once she was gone, he came and hugged Dave and apologized and somehow Dave felt incredibly, incredibly relieved and grateful for Karkat’s presence, a warmth in his chest building up. They hugged for a long time, before Karkat lifted his head up, leaned in to kiss Dave and…

What the fuck.

Dave opened his eyes, fingers grasping at the sheets like woah ok he didn’t know what he had smoked last night but it must have been something strong because that was one hell of a fever dream.

Mental overload. Too much stuff happening at once. He often had dreams during those times.

He let the feelings come down a notch, then when he felt it was cool, it had been easy to laugh it off. Hey, at least it wasn’t a nightmare. He remembered those couple of dreams where he had kissed Jade, John and/or Rose quite a few times in his life. They were always a bit odd, but the trick was not to think about them too much.

He headed for the shower, retrieving the brand new bottle of body wash he had bought. It wasn’t his usual brand, but a new one, bought at the drug store rather than the dollar store.

He put it on the floor of the shower, the plastic shelves being filled to the brim with products he shouldn’t even dare to touch unless he craved a serious ass whooping and washed himself from head to toe with the new, cherry petal scented soap.

He would have looked for some _Sea Cotton-_ like product, but he couldn’t find it and besides, he’d feel a bit like a copycat for doing so.

After washing himself, he got dressed and packed all of his dirty clothes in a trash bag. Heading to the laundromat. He was used to putting this task off for weeks, it took too much time for his liking, but he figured he could make an effort for once.

 

He was sitting on a bench watching his laundry just kind of tumble ceaselessly when a little kid, maybe four or five, just came up to him.

“My mom says you put the fabric softener instead of the detergent in your laundry.”

“What?”

A grown woman followed the kid, took them under her wing and continued.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother you, but I see you used fabric softener instead of detergent, it won’t really clean your clothes that way. I would have told you earlier, but I just noticed.”

“Wait? It’s a different thing?”

The woman laughed.

“Is it the first time you do your own laundry, young man?”

“I mean no but…uh…I mean…thanks.”

“No problem. Maybe you should ask one of your parents next time so they can show you.”

“Yeah, uh, is it bad for my clothes?”

“Well, it doesn’t do much. Just doesn’t clean them, you’ll probably notice stains not going away. Hey, you know what?”

She handed Dave her half-full bottle of detergent.

“Here, take it, it’s a gift. It ain’t cheap, so I suppose you can make use of it.”

“Wow uh, thanks a lot. I. Uh.”

“You’re welcome,” the woman smiled before walking away.

Dave was a bit dumbfounded, and also touched and embarrassed. That actually explained a whole lot about his clothes. Damn. He just never knew.

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: hey man did you know that fabric softener and detergent were two different things

GC: I DONT HAVE THE MENTAL ABILITIES OF A PARTICULARLY SLOW TODDLER, SO, YES, I FIGURED THAT TWO THINGS WITH TWO DIFFERENT NAMES WEREN’T JUST ANOTHER DUMB FLUKE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

CG: I ALSO HAPPEN TO DO MY LAUNDRY ON A REGULAR BASIS AS A RESPONSIBLE PERSON.

TG: well so do i dude

TG: ive been doing my laundry since i was eight

TG: littlest kiddo at the laundromat ready to clean the shit out of my flawless dressings

TG: people were all looking at me like damn i wish this coolkid was mine

TG: too bad seniors this junior was too good for you plebs

TG: your kids will never reach this level of grace theyre all too busy being scared shitless of the monsters under their beds

TG: instead of taking action and either gtfo or fight that bitch like the cool shaded laundry kid would do

TG: but like i always figured laundry softener was just some special type of detergent that made the clothes extra soft or something

TG: well i guess it did

TG: just didnt make my clothes clean

TG: everything is so much clearer now

CG: CONGRATULATIONS, DAVE. SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD BE AS UTTERLY LOST ABOUT MY LIFE THAN YOU JUST SO I COULD REVEL IN MINOR VICTORIES SUCH AS THIS ONE. YOU ARE THE CHAMPION. IT IS YOU.

TG: does this count as passive aggressive given how it is written in all caps or is it just aggressive aggressive

CG: I AM TEASING YOU FRIENDILY

CG: BECAUSE I AM A FUNDAMENTALLY GOOD PERSON WHO WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY

CG: EVEN IF YOU *ARE* A COMPLETE IDIOT.

CG: NO OFFENSE.

TG: none taken

TG: just to make sure

TG: we are still hitting up tomorrow right

TG: like downtown

TG: also that is a bit vague of a location

TG: maybe a time and a place would be nice

CG: YES WE ARE. HOW ABOUT WE MEET AT THE CHAPTERS ON BROOKE STREET, AT NOON?

TG: sounds reasonable

TG: its set then

CG: GREAT. NOW EXCUSE ME BUT I WAS BUTT DEEP INTO A MATH HOMEWORK AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS CONVERSATION IS EXCRUCIATINGLY LESS PAINFUL THAN THIS MIND-KNOTTING EXERCISE OF PURE SADISM, IT STILL NEEDS DOING. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

TG: yeah my laundry is almost over anyway see ya tomorrow

CG: SEE YOU.

CarcinoGenetiscist stopped pestering TurntechGodhead


	16. Chapter 16

TentancleTherapist opened a MEMO on board RABID PUPPY COOLKIDS

TT: Hello everybody.

TT: I know it might be a bit early in the season, but I’ve opened this memo with the intention of planning for our yearly Christmas/Hannukah event this year.

TT: I already know John will come back in town between the 26th and the 4th

TT: Therefore I planned to hold my get together on the 27th and 28th

TT: A sleepover, at my house.

TG: oh man sure thing

TG: its about time that we finally rejoice in the yearly tradition of getting smashed on candy cane and friendship at one of those spoiled brat exclusives

TG: whatever date is fine by me tbh

TG: will there be jewish hashbrowns too

TT: You mean latkes?

TT: As far as I know, there will be latkes. 

TT: Doughnuts as well.

TG: nice

EB: hooray for rose and her kind mother! I will be there without fault.

EB: I’ve missed you guys so much!

EB: so much so that my dad isn’t even opposed to the idea of having a sleepover at a girls house anymore!

EB: well, he knows all of you well enough

TG: oh come on john

TG: your dad knows we are responsible teens

TG: we always use protection for our orgies

EB: dave!

TT: Should I ask mom to buy condoms?

GG: rose!

TT: Oh, Hello Jade.

TG: sup jade

EB: hiya!

GG : hello!

GG : I’m sorry for being late to the party! : )

GG: im totally up for the Christmas thing!

GG: oooh, what if I brought cookies?

TG: that sounds lit

EB: it would be really nice!

TT: It is a tad early to assess with precision the hour, but so far the plan is to have a noon-to-noon sort of schedule.

TT: A whole twenty four hours of seeing each other.

TT: It is an understatement to say I look forward to it.

TG: ok but do we bring gifts or

TT: I was thinking of a secret Santa.

TG: shit im always up for secret santa

TG: sign me the fuck up

TG: who wants my signature strider heartfelt shitty jpegs

TG: with a comfortable side of ironically outdated memes

TT: The value of these ten to fifteen dollars cannot be negative, for your information. Just throwing this out there.

TG: dammit

EB: I can’t wait to know who I will be the secret santa for!

TT: I’ll contact you individually on the subject.

TG: aight

EB: will your mom be there rose?

TG: yeah will she

TT: She will, but I’ll make sure that she doesn’t bother us.

TG: oh come on she doesnt bother us

EB: your mom is really nice!

GG: I agree with john and dave!

TT: Not that I want to judge any of you, but perhaps consider that your immature pining over my mother might feel a tad…uncomfortable to me?

GG: what pining?

TG: rose ill have you know that i have no romantic intentions towards your hot mom okay

TT: Then will you stop calling her “hot”?

TG: no

TG: i mean

TG: dammit

TG: whos hot? i never said your mom was hot

EB: I’m pretty sure you did dave

TG: oh like you dont think shes hot too

EB: well…i mean…she is very beautiful, but I dont know if I would call her “hot”

EB: it seems a bit weird to call a grown woman like that!

TG: yeah thats whati meant

TG: your hot mom is beautiful rose

TT: …

TG: fuck i slipped again didnt i

TT: You should consider going Olympic on the Freudian slips, Dave.

TT: In any case, this conversation is starting to get on tracks I’d rather explore another day.

TT: With that, I’ll leave you on a reminder: Christmas party, at my house, from noon on the 27th to noon on the 28th of December. I’ll contact you for secret Santa, or if there is any change to be signaled. Have a good day.

EB: bye rose!

GG: bye! J

TG: ciao dude

TentaclesTherapist left the MEMO

EctoBiologist left the MEMO

TurntechGodhead left the MEMO

GardenGnostic left the MEMO


	17. Chapter 17

It was 11: 56. Dave was standing in front of some sci-fi novels at the Chapters while the cashier gave him dubious looks.

It…was the right place, right?

Sunday, at noon, in the Chapters.

It was almost noon.

Karkat still wasn’t there.

He stared at the automatic doors from his vantage point, with a little bit of disappointment every time they opened and it wasn’t Karkat.

Dammit he was probably wrong.

Okay, it wasn’t noon yet so perhaps…

He checked the convo he had with Karkat to make sure.

Yeah, yeah, it was the right place, right time.

Maybe Karkat messaged him to change or cancel and he didn’t get the notice?

Maybe he forgot?

Maybe he simply decided not to wait for him?

11:59

Don’t be silly Dave.

He’s not the type to be there in advance, is all.

Dave decided he would text him at 12:15, if he still wasn’t there.

In the meantime maybe he should act a bit more interested by the books, instead of just staring at the door like an assassin waiting for his victim to walk in.

Oh, look, a spinning rack with some cheap erotica. That ought to be distracting.

_Isabelle sat on the porch of her house, pondering on whether it was worth it. The money. She had never quite felt that torn in her life. For the first time, she had felt beautiful, she had felt loved—but at what cost?_

Boooring.

12:01

Really?

It felt like it had been AT LEAST five minutes since he last checked the time.

It was just…it was just boring to wait alone, he guessed.

He could scour the book for more steamy scenes, perhaps?

_He was intimidating, but in the good way, the kind that made Isabella feel protected rather than threatened. As if he would take complete control over her, made her feel like the most important thing in the world and obscure everything else._

Ish. Bad relationship advice.

_He ghosted his hand over her hip, intently. Her breath ran short. She knew it was wrong. But despite everything, she couldn’t prevent herself from feeling, from wanting him. From feeling his tongue run over her nipple and_

Dave’s phone buzzed.

CarcinoGenetiscist started pestering TurntechGodhead

CG: ARE YOU GOING TO COME OR WHAT?

TG: dude im already here where the fuck are you

CG: I’M RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHAPTERS, AND I CAN’T SEE YOU.

TG: oh wait im inside

CG: OH.

Dave almost ran to try and get out, while Karkat rushed to get in and they nearly bumped into each other in the entrance.

“hey,” Dave said.

“hey.”

“Sorry for having gotten inside I thought we would meet there.”

“No, no, fuck, don’t apologize, it’s fine.”

“Okay. So. What do we do now?”

_“_ I don’t know. I was thinking looking at the books, but I don’t know how long you’ve been here and honestly I don’t mind if you want to do something else.”

“Um. Okay. Uh…maybe we could. Huh. I don’t know.”

Karkat laughed.

“oh my God, Strider lost his tongue.”

Dave tried his darnest not to blush, with mitigated results.

“I’ll have you know that a Strider _never_ loses his tongue. I am simply the best there is at blabbering, and you cannot take that away from me.”

“Hm-hm.”

“Anyway, wanna go get a coffee or something.”

“Yeah, sure.”

They walked out of the Chapters and headed, not to the Starbucks but to the Second Cup. It didn’t really make a difference to Dave, but he noted it nonetheless.

Dave got a regular coffee and Karkat got a hot chocolate with a cookie.

Dave didn’t feel bad about spending money because Friday he had retrieved three twenty dollar bills from the couch (Despite the fact that one had a naked fem! Abraham Lincoln drawn on it and he wasn’t sure he could use it really). But he’d find a way to manage it for the week.

The weather was grey, but not rainy, just kind of cloudy, with still leaves hanging from the trees despite the fact that November was almost over and they should have been long gone. It was windy, too.

And Dave and Karkat talked.

And it was pretty easy, to go from one subject to the other, joke a little, be sincere a little, complain a little.

At some point the subject of the way Dave was perceived at school came up.

“It’s just…not okay, the way they treat you. And I know they don’t intend to be mean, they’re just kind of scared and kind of weirded out by you. They think they’re being subtle about it, but they’re really not.”

“I mean…I got used to it, y’know? I don’t really want to care about what people think of me. That would be mad uncool. It’s high school. That shit is just…normal, y’know?”

Karkat shook his head.

“It’s really not, Dave.”

“Well, what can I do about it?”

Karkat went silent.

“…nothing, I guess,” he finally said.

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to say, but…I’ve kind of got you too, now, right? You don’t think I’m a loser.”

“Of course not! I’m really sorry for having thought so in the past, though…I’m a fucking judgmental idiot. I should’ve known better.”

Dave shrugged.

“To be fair, I didn’t like you either.”

They smiled at each other. Their drinks had been empty for a while now, and they decided that perhaps it would be better to get out of the shop. It felt like there was a certain…pride, in their friendship. As if they had surmounted unlikely odds to get to this point of mutual sharing, of sincerely appreciating one another’s company. They had made it. They were comfortable around one another. Level 5 friendship unlocked: hit me up anytime, bro.

They eventually had to part ways: Karkat had sworn to his dad he would be home for Dinner. They even had a sweet bro hug before going their own way: with the two pats on the back and everything.

Felt good. Felt pure.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> true story bruh

 

Dave texted Karkat every day that week. And also ate with him on Tuesday. On the other days, he went business as usual and wandered around school at lunchtime, though every time he had a thought he would text it and yeah he needed to work on his clinginess problem because the second he found someone willing to spend some time with him he just flooded them every occasion he had.

Karkat got him a protein bar Wednesday morning.

That was nice.

So Dave got a cookie for Karkat on Thursday during the club meeting and Karkat was like “you missed the point of my gesture” (in a bit more convoluted an swear-y terms) but he took the cookie anyway.

Friday, Dave went to take his bus as usual. Karkat wasn’t there, he finished late because the student council was working on the Christmas event planning.

The 21 always came before the 15. That was a thing Dave knew, and counted on. So when the fifteen pulled over to the bus stop, he didn’t bother checking the number and got in, eager to escape the 34 degrees outside. At first, nothing was wrong. But then he noticed the bus wasn’t going where it usually went and had a moment of panic.

Through the crowd, he spotted the reflection of the bus number of the window. 15. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He mentally facepalmed.

He waited a couple of stops, when most people were out, before going to the driver.

“I’m afraid I can’t do nothing, Kid,” they shrugged.

Then, thinking, they added,

“My line ends at the downtown terminal. There are a lot of buses leaving from there, if you think that can help.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dave nodded. The 21 started from the downtown terminal, he could take it from there and go home. It would have wasted an hour and a half of his time, but he would survive.

The bus emptied and he got to sit down, look at the neighborhoods pass by in the dark, a wide array of suburbs he had never seen before. It was raining. It rained a lot in the fall, but it was just a light drizzle, nothing especially sinister. It just chilled bones and obscured his vision with droplets in his shades. It was warm inside the bus, even for him and his light jacket he was sporting since September.

This is what happens when you get left on your own, he passively thought. You just kind of fuck up again and again. If Karkat had been there, he wouldn’t have taken the wrong bus. Or they would both have, and he would have complained loudly and it would have almost been nice, like an impromptu get together.

He didn’t even feel like going home that much. His neighborhood was shit, and it was nice to just sit and watch the world pass him, from brave ladies walking their dogs in the weather to pissed commuters just trying to get home to empty streets lit for naught.

He put on his music and went along. He was tired, but not peculiarly upset when he finally got to the downtown terminal.

It was passed seven and the place was just hallways of concrete lit with heavy industrial lighting. Fast foods with workers waiting impatiently for the end of their shifts. He was familiar with the place. Second corridor on the right, first gate was where he was supposed to take his bus. He walked on auto-pilot to it, lost in his thoughts, still listening to his music.

He sat relieved in his bus when it came exactly thirteen minutes later.

A couple of stops went by. And then. Wait a minute.

The window reflection of the bus number. 71. Fucking seriously?

That was worth a double X2 combo facepalm.

Fucking congrats you fickle douchedreamer. That was an exploit.

It was like one of those shitty dreams where he was desperately trying to get home and never could, with number-changing buses and infinite streets. At least he wasn’t naked now. He had no choice but for the bus to loop again, he knew it would.

Second corridor on the right, _second gate_ , the 21. He had already almost made that mistake before, but last time he actually realized it in time. Now he was—

“Hey,” a girl stood in front of him, having just entered the bus. Aradia.

“Hey,” he greeted the thick-haired girl.

“I didn’t know you took this bus,” she said.

Dave sighed.

“I don’t. I took the wrong bus.”

“Oh,” she said holding back a giggle. “Well, can I sit here?”

“Sure,” Dave shrugged.

She sat down.

“I was doing some shopping downtown with friends, that’s why I’m coming back at this hour.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“Were you out, too?”

“Um. To be honest I just took the wrong bus twice.”

She laughed.

“That’s quite a misadventure, Dave.”

Dave shrugged.

“I was distracted.”

“It’s okay, I’m not judging you. You must be tired.”

“Yeah,”

“Just enjoy the ride! It’s not all bad, isn’t it? We got to meet.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you enjoying the History club? You seem to be quite a good friend of Karkat. That’s funny, considering how he didn’t like you very much at first.”

“Well, yeah, he changed his mind I guess.”

“That’s good, that you two get to be friends like that. He’s quite a lonely guy.”

“What? Karkat? Lonely?”

“Well, a very social guy, yes, he knows everybody and everybody likes him, but since he broke up with Terezi he doesn’t have a really close friends he can spend his weekends with and such. I know it affected him quite a bit.”

“I’m surprised to hear that.”

“He’s a rude guy with a big heart.”

“I’m not surprised to hear that.”

Aradia looked through the window.

“I have to get out at the next stop,” she said pulling on the string to call a stop. “It was nice talking to you and good luck getting back home!”

“Bye, thanks!”

She got out and the bus pursued in its track.

Dave was a bit shook by the news that Karkat had been lonelier than he had guessed. On one hand, he felt sad and empathetic for him, he knew what it was like, despite the fact that he did have close friends outside of school. On the other hand, he guiltily felt almost proud, as if he was a special person to Karkat not just a charity case.

Somewhere ending up alone wasn’t really an individual’s fault. You could be the most social, engaging, kind being and still end up with a bit of loneliness somewhere. It was…kind of a reassuring thought.

Of course, in his case it was little his fault, he thought, but maybe there was just a part of bad circumstances, a part of things he couldn’t control. Maybe he was just…unlucky.

And then he met Karkat. And he was lucky.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This semester in school I learned that listening to your parents too much when it comes to making decisions about your life is not really good, that friends are fucking important that my friends are the best and I miss them, and that I'm an absolute piece of shit who can't kick her own butt even during finals season when I'm at risk of failing and really, genuinely don't want to fail.

CarcinoGeneticist  started pestering TurntechGodhead

CG: HEY

TG: sup dude

CG: THESE FUCKING EXAMS ARE KILLING ME. ALSO THE STUDENT COUNCIL IS A SNAKE PIT OF VICIOUS OR AT BEST NAÏVE INCOMPETENTS, AND I AM TALKING ABOUT BOTH SIDE OF THE AUTHORITY SCALE HERE, PEOPLE AND THE CHRISTMAS PARTY IS GOING TO BE SHIT, SO DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

CG: WHO COULD’VE GUESSED THAT IT WAS HARD TO PLAN PG RATED EVENTS FOR APATHETIC SIXTEEN YEARS OLD?

CG: MOST PEOPLE I GUESS. EXCEPT FOR THE STUDENTS AND EXECUTIVES ON THE STUDENT COUNCIL OF COURSE.

CG: ALSO THE ASSOCIATION OF VOLUNTEERS PROVIDING BRAILLE BOOKS TO THE LOCAL LIBRARY AND SUBSEQUENTLY THE SCHOOL HAS FALLEN BEHIND ITS SCHEDULE AND NOW TEREZI CAN’T CATCH UP WITH HER READINGS AND I FIND MYSELF FORCED TO PROVIDE HER WITH AN AUDIOBOOK OPTION AND MAKE EVERYONE LISTEN TO IT AS WELL.

TG: so everything is dandy i guess

CG: YEAH. ANYWAY.

CG: I GUESS I WANTED TO ASK YOU IF, UH,

CG: WELL, YOU SEE, A THING I DID MANAGE TO DO WAS CONVINCE THE COUNCIL TO HAVE ONLY HALF A DAY ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, AFTER THE EXAMS.

CG: AND I WAS WONDERING WHETHER YOU’D LIKE TO SPEND THE AFTERNOON WITH ME AFTER. IT’S JUST A SUGGESTION. YOU COULD STAY AND EAT WITH ME AND MY DAD.

CG: AND MY BROTHER WILL BE BACK FROM COLLEGE THEN TOO. OH GOD NEVERMIND YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY FOR DINNER.

TG: haha man whats your bro about

TG: hes that bad uh

CG: YOU CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE.

CG: HE’S NOT EVEN BAD IN THE CLASSICAL SENSE OF THE TERM.

CG: HE INVENTS A NEW WAY TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS EVERYTIME WITH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SOLILOQUES AND A MISGUIDED SENSE OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS.

CG: HE IS ALSO QUITE DETERMINED TO MAKE ME OUT MYSELF TO MY DAD WHICH I’M NOT READY FOR YET, THOUGH I’M AFRAID HE’LL DO IT “ACCIDENTALLY” IF I DON’T DO IT SOON.

TG: oh man that is legit shitty im so sorry

TG: but werent you like out to everybody

CG: PRETTY MUCH. EXCEPT MY FAMILY. MY BROTHER KNOWS BECAUSE OF SHENANIGANS.

TG: oh ok i can get that

TG: are they like homophobic or do you just not know

CG: WELL MY EXTENDED FAMILY IS PRETTY HOMOPHOBIC, THERE IS NO QUESTION THERE, BUT WITH MY DAD I JUST DON’T KNOW.

CG: I’M NOT EVEN SURE HE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BISEXUAL.

CG: I’M PRETTY SURE HE THINKS YOU’VE GOTTA SWING ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

CG: I GUESS THERE IS NO WAY TO KNOW UNTIL I TELL HIM BUT HONESTLY FUCK THAT.

CG: I DON’T KNOW WHY, I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT OCCASION I GUESS.

CG: MAYBE IF I START DATING A GUY AT SOME POINT.

CG: I’M JUST STUPID AND HONESTLY A BIT OF A COWARD.

TG: hey no i mean do whatever youre already brave enough to come out to the whole school thats something

CG: I DON’T GIVE A HOOT ABOUT WHAT THE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL THINK.

CG: THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES SINCE I SURE AS HECK DON’T WANT TO FUCK THEM, WHICHEVER WAY I SWING.

CG: THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER ARE OKAY WITH IT AND THAT’S ALL I NEED.

TG: do i count in the people who matter

CG: WELL ARE YOU SHITTY TO ME ON THE SUBJECT OF MY SEXUALITY? NOT REALLY. SO OF COURSE YOU MATTER. IF YOU WERE A BACKWARD SHITSTAIN ABOUT IT, I WOULDN’T EVEN BOTHER YELLING AT YOU EVERYDAY.

TG: phew im reassured here

TG: what would i do without the reassuring blast of unending bitter blasphemy that are your rants honestly

TG: id be lost thats for sure

CG: SHUT UP.

TG: hey youre the one who started it

CG: YEAH, OKAY. IN THE MEANWHILE I’VE GOT A DRIVING CLASS SO I NEED TO GO LEST THEY CHASTISE ME FOR TEXTING AND DRIVING. I’LL PESTER YOU WHEN I’M DONE.

TG: okay see ya

CG: SEE YOU LATER

CarcinoGeneticist stopped pestering TurntechGodhead

 


	20. Chapter 20

It was weird going home with still the sun up in the sky after school, but it wasn’t upleasant. It was only noon and the day had been less terrible than he had expected it to be. Sure, he didn’t exactly enjoy it with Karkat that much, since the guy had been doing organization shit such as distributing red and green cupcakes to teens who actually enjoyed at least that part of the events, then had to direct and help in other much less appreciated activities. When he was at the cupcake table, Dave actually hung around-until one of the teachers basically told him to fuck off because he was obstructing other students- but apart from that, he just kicked back and let himself be carried from mildly boring activity to mildly boring activity. Then before he was actually completely disgusted of it, it was noon and the day was over. Merry Christmas Mrs. Teacher, Goodbye kiddo see you on January 7th.

Karkat had come out of the school 20 minutes later and Dave was just already feeling good like heck yeah the magic of Christmas kicking in long live capitalism driven holidays.

The day was nice. Like, a few degrees below the freezing point, about an inch of snow on the ground and the sky fully, uniformly, hypnotizingly white. Despite the hordes of youngsters freshly on break yelling and hanging around, it somehow felt calm and relaxing.

The crowd had scattered when Karkat got out, looking good in his white coat and grey beanie. His beanie especially suited him well, pressing his disobedient locks around his face and framing his features. Making his resting bitch face into more of a childish pout. Well, in any getup Dave could now see his resting bitch face as more of a cute childish pout, but it looked especially well in that outfit. The white of eyes, too, looked good through the black strands of hair.

Karkat had an overbite, Dave knew from one of their long pesterlog chats that it would have been corrected, but the dentist actually went against it, saying that because of the way Karkat spoke it would have been likely to leave him with a lisp. Dave reassured him that given the hell stories of John and Jade and their braces, it was as well like that.

In the bus they shared music and to not yank out the earbud out of ear they had to huddle quite closely, the fabric of their coats pressing into each other.

“You should probably put something on your head,” Karkat warned him.

“But Mooomm.”

“Your nose and ears are all pink and I’m no expert but I think it means that you’re cold.”

Dave caught a cold approximately eight times and year (sometimes when it was ninety degrees out—don’t ask him how), and didn’t care much for it. There was a certain pleasure in the sting of cold, especially at this time of year, when it wasn’t below -10 just fucking yet. It was cold, but a warm kind of cold, the kind that makes you want to play winter sports and get inside hours later for a warm cup of hot chocolate.

He was too cool to play in the snow and didn’t own any snow pants but the idea itself was a nice thing.

He kind of wanted to take Karkat’s hand.

What the fuck.

Okay, his fingers were cold. Also, it was fairly normal in many cultures to hold hands with friends between dudes being bros and all. So maybe it was just a normal feeling.

He didn’t though, because cultural exchange or not it was rather ambiguous thing to hold a bi guy’s hand just like that.

They got out and by the time they had walked back to Karkat’s place, it had started to snow. Big, thick snowflakes like dandruff that danced lazily their way to the ground, got caught in wool and hair and eyelashes.

“It’s nice,” he told Karkat.

“Yeah,” Karkat answered, eyes locked to the sky.

When it snowed, time flowed at the rythm of the breeze. There and then, everything happened in a sort of slow motion, and Dave's eyes caught Karkat's profile in each and every of its movement. 

It was fascinating.

Dave looked up to the sky as well. The white snow confounded with the white sky, it only gave it movement, and then made it so someone found themself with a cold, wet thing warming their face. Dave actually fucking lifted up his shades so he could see the spectacle better. Karkat noticed it and exclaimed,

“Oh my fuck.”

Dave put back his shades and shoved him lightly in the shoulder. He nudged back. They did it a couple of times before Dave actually took off Karkat’s beanie off his head and ran with it. Karkat ran after him, yelling profanities. Dave laughed.

They ran maybe three hundred feet before Dave, out of breath, slowed down and Karkat tackled him roughly to the ground, reaching for his beanie. Dave didn’t quite give in yet and kept it out of reach for a few seconds. Karkat eventually fetched it and shoved it back on his head anyway. Dave laughed.

Karkat laughed too.

Then they just. Kind of stayed like that. With Karkat on top of Dave, whose pants were getting wetted with melting snow. Catching their breath. Their eyes met for a moment and Karkat immediately looked away. Dave felt his heart skip a beat and he wasn’t exactly sure why. They then both got up and calmly walked back home. There was a little tension, but then Karkat smiled at Dave and the tension dissipated mostly.

“Do you even celebrate Christmas?” Dave asked Karkat.

He shrugged.

“Well, yeah, kinda. We don’t do a big family celebration or anything but my dad, my bro and I have a good meal and a small tree and I can usually expect a gift from my dad.”

“Oh, that’s kind of like me then I guess.”

“Yeah. We’d celebrate something else, but we just kind of find it easier to go with the flow here. You should hear my brother’s rants on it, though.”

They arrived at Karkat’s place, and after a little deliberation realized they didn’t feel like going in just yet, not when the snow was still fresh and falling. They went into the yard instead, and Dave started working on a beautiful, artfully crafted snow penis.

With a mere inch of snow on the ground it wasn’t easy, but he still managed to gather enough grassy snow to make an about eight inches tall dick. Karkat didn’t quite realize it at first, but when he did he was a bit mad at Dave.

“That is so fucking stupid.”

“Well, to me it’s just kind of small. Like, damn, my own dick is bigger than that. Help me, I’m sure we can improve it.”

Karkat just kicked the small, ugly mound idly with his boot.

Dave took the most hurt expression he could gather.

“Oh no you didn’t.”

“I think I did.”

He grinned.

“Revenge for you stealing my hat.”

Dave took some snow on the ground into his wet, cold bare hands, balled it up and threw it at Karkat.

It landed on the forearm he put in front of him to shield himself. Dave threw another. Karkat backed off a few steps then started to make snowballs of his own to throw at Dave. They ran around the yard for a while, before Kankri, Karkat’s brother opened the patio door and scolded them,

“Perhaps the both of you could tone down the violence of your game? The ambiguously aggressive nature of your play is making me uncomfortable, besides, it is simply not right for you to indulge in such play that may be perceived as an act of hatred by one or both of you, though subconsciously. Not to mention that you are setting a bad example for kids who might see the both of you and reproduce your games without conscience of the repercussions it might have.”

“Fuck off, Kankri!” Karkat yelled.

His brother gaped in awe.

“I am appalled by your language young man, I meant no harm to either of you and this is how you repay me? I think I’ll sadly have to report you to Dad who will certainly be as shocked as I am.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. Then he told Dave that maybe they should go inside now. Dave agreed because he was covered in melted snow, also known as cold water, and could use some house warmth.

They went inside and passed Kankri who just kind of went away into his room. Karkat made them hot chocolates and they went downstairs and ended up watching _50 first dates_. Dave about midway through the movie just put his legs on Karkat’s lap.

“You’d figure the idea of having to find out every day of your life that Adam Sandler is your boyfriend would be the stuff of nightmares, but somehow it is not much this movie is not much more nausea inducing than any other regular romcom. I still think Hugh Jackman was hotter in terms of love interest, though.”

To his surprise, Karkat just chuckled.

“I’m going to be honest I agree with you on that one, Dave,”

Dave’s eyes went from his empty mug to the screen to Karkat.

“This isn’t even a Christmas movie,”

“It’s not.”

“I thought this day was supposed to be Christmas themed or something.”

“We can watch _Love Actually_ after if you want.”

Dave pouted.

They ended up watching _Love Actually_ afterwards.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter yet I think.  
> This gave me good flashbacks of friendship though

What kind of fancy ass bathroom is it that Rose has? Dave asked himself as he stumbled more or less queasily into the artificially heated darkness of the room.

Of course he knew Rose’s house. Host by excellence, it was with a raging familiarity that he knew it, years of friend gatherings making it a happy place. But it still struck him how the black tiled room with fluffy purple carpet and a fucking marble bath was so cozy. Like what the fuck, it was a fucking bathroom? He could seriously stay there.

It was like 1 am anyway, and he knew a couple rooms away the conversation was going about merrily, the few snacks remaining being idly nibbled by teenagers who weren’t even hungry anymore.

He laid on the fluffy purple carpet because why the fuck not also he was kind of tired and it was nice and he didn’t feel sick lying there.

It was so nice being with his friends again, but he needed a little break. Maybe like a ten minutes nap.

He didn’t sleep, but he did rest his eyes a little bit. And then Rose’s cat decided to slither in, the bathroom carpet was also his favorite spot in the house.

“Hey Vodka whats up dog.”

The cat walked up to his face, visibly a bit upset to have his favorite spot stolen.

“Hey sorry man I stole your spot but let’s be honest it’s kind of an awesome spot and you have it all the time so too bad for you.”

The cat meowed at him. Well, not quite. Made a meowing gesture but only got out a soft high pitched sound, tapped Dave’s face and climbed on his back.

The warmth of the cat on him was actually quite nice and Dave had really an excuse not to move now.

He had actually more or less fallen asleep when Jade’s voice woke him up.

“Dave? Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

His unconscious jerking made the cat climb off his back and wander out of the bathroom.

“Uh, yeah, uh, I was just, uh, resting my eyes I guess.”

“Haha. In the bathroom?”

“It’s the most comfortable place in this mansion, I swear.”

“Yeah, I kind of agree,” she walked in and sat on the toilet after having closed the lid.

“It’s just…nice.”

“It’s the heating, I think,” she said.

“Plus the quiet.”

“Yeah,” She turned her head. “I wonder whether we can make Vodka come back.”

At that moment, Rose surged in with the cat in her arms.

“Hey, so you guys are having a party in there apparently.”

“It’s a private party, you need a special invite,” Dave said.

“I am the owner’s daughter, I think that’s worth an invite,” Rose answered.

A voice could be heard from the hallway.

“Guys? Where are you? Rose I got the paper and markers.”

“Paper and markers?” Dave asked.

“We decided when you were gone that it’s drawing o’clock, obviously.”

She passed he head through the door and told John where everyone was.

Okay, four people may be a bit crowded as bathrooms go.

John turned on the lights when he entered, which was fine by everyone except Dave who let out a moan.

“Stop whining.”

“M’nmnnot whining.”

“Why are you guys all here?” John asked.

“We decided to turn my bathroom into an art studio. Force is mine to admit it may be a bit crowded, though.”

“Oh, just a minute!” Jade said before crawling into the double bath.

John shrugged and put himself next to her as Rose sat on the squeaky clean floor between Dave and the toilet.

They all took paper and markers and started drawing from their awkward positions, Rose and Dave lying on their belly and Jade and John using the walls of the bath as canvas holder. They were all too tired to do much more than scribble, Dave dicks (as per usual), Rose something that looked like black octopi, Jade animals and John whatever the fuck he was drawing.

“Fun like the day we were eight,” Rose deadpanned.

“I wish I was still eight,” Dave said.

“What was so great about it?”

“I don’t remember anything about it, and that’s what’s great.”

John lets out a “pfff, Drama Queen.”

“Okay, then I just miss last year when we could see each other every day,” Dave says, trying to balance sincerity with a still kind of stoic façade.

Everybody’s face faded a little, they were all sad about it. No matter how great they’re new schools may have been, their tight little group of ex-middle schoolers was in kind of a crisis, and it felt like no one could do anything about it.

“Guess it’s time for a good old feeling jam, isn’t it?”

“Obviously. Like, what time is it?”

“2:01”

“What? Already? When I came in here it was like one”

“You slept quite a bit Dave, that’s why I came to check on you,” Jade mentioned.

“Okay, let’s get down to business,” Rose cracked her knuckles, “who here has deep life confession they have to make? Or do I have to get out the truth-without-dares-because-I’m-too-tired-to-make-up-dares-I-just-want-to-know-who-you-like?”

“Well, I don’t know, why don’t you go first, Rose? I don’t know if you’ve told everyone what you’ve told me, but it’s a pretty good life confession if you haven’t,” Dave said.

“What?”

“You know. Involving your, uh, thing.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, but I’ll go for a confession: I have feelings for someone at my school.”

“Really?” John asked, “Who is he? What is he like?”

Dave had a corner smile at Rose’s defiant expression.

“SHE is named Kanaya Maryam, is beautiful and very smart, a lesbian, and we have a good chemistry. I really don’t know if she likes me back, but I sure hope so.”

“Wait…Rose…are you a lesbian?”

“No of course not, Sherlock, she just has a gal pal crush, totally 100% platonic no homo,” Dave answered John.

“No, I mean…it’s fine. I just really didn’t know. I’m kind of shocked. That’s one heck of a confession, Rose!”

“You are all better to offer up something equivalent,” she dared.

“Woah, woah, Rose, I seriously wish I could, but you are hard to beat,” Dave said.

“Is there someone you like?” Rose smirked.

“What? No.”

“What about Karkat?”

“What about him?”

“Karkat?” John asked.

“Yes, they’re very close now, these two.”

“Karkat?” John asked again.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s nice when you get to know him…”

“Karkat?” Jade asked.

“YES. HIM. The shouty guy. The one from all of the clubs.”

“I thought he didn’t like you,” Jade said.

“Circumstances made it so it’s different now. Stuff changes. It happens.”

“I think he likes him as more than a friend,” Rose added.

“Nobody asked for your opinion, Rose.”

“Rose, I don’t think Dave is a homosexual,” John said.

“He doesn’t think he is, that’s for sure. But I know a guy with a crush when I see one.”

Dave reached out his arm to pat Rose on the head.

“Rose, you are tired.”

She took his hand off her head.

“Don’t patronize me.”

“Don’t tease me about feeling you dreamed up I have.”

“Fair point. But I stand on my observations.”

The bathroom door opened and through it peaked a bleached blond head.

“Hii kids, havin a blast?” Rose mom slurred slightly.

During the afternoon and evening she had checked up on them frequently, they ate and lit the menorah in her presence, though they now had thought her asleep.

“Mooom, why aren’t you asleep?”

“Well, Rosie, you and your friends are HELLA LOUD, if you didna know.”

  
She giggled and hiccupped.

“Hella. I love that word. You kids lingo is SO LIT like, seriously.”

“Was there a purpose with you disturbing our drawing session?”

“Um, idk, do you guys, like, need anting?”

She cleared her throat.

“I mean anything.”

“We don’t, but thanks mom.”

“okayyy darling honey, I love you, and all of your friends.”

Rose’s mom sent flying kisses before going away.

Jade, John and Dave giggled and Dave had a corner smile as Rose buried her face in her arms on the floor.

“Your mom is nice,” John said.

“Mh-mh,” Rose let out, defeated.

“Do you want to put on my hat to feel better?” Jade asked.

Oh, yeah, she was wearing her dog-eared beanie that John got her as Secret Santa. She frickin loved it.

As it happened, John picked Jade and Jade picked John, Rose picked Dave and Dave picked Rose. John gave Jade the hat, Jade gave John a scarf with a ghostbuster ghost on one end, Rose gave Dave a mini rainbow dash figurine and a Vanilla Ice CD, while he got her a rainbow dash figurine and a printed copy of “My Immortal”. He considered that he beat her.

“That is the nicest gesture I’ve ever been offered, Jade, but I reckon I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, then.”

Jade pulled on both sides of her hat, and John tapped her on the top of her head.

Dave started scribbling again, John made a paper plane of his sheet and threw it across the bathroom. Jade rested her head on John’s shoulder.

“Rose?”

She hadn’t lifted her head up.

“Rose?”

No answer. Dave shook her shoulder a bit.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god Rose were you asleep?”

“No,” she said in a sleepy voice.

“Yes you were,” John said.

“Dave was sleeping when I got into the bathroom,” Jade added, closing her eyes.

“I wasn’t”

“Yes you were,” Jade said.

“Whatever.”

Dave took out his phone and opened pesterchum.

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: sup man

TG: how you doin

TG: wait its like three am youre probably sleeping

TG: shit

TG: well

TG: im not sleeping im with my friends

TG: rose gave me a rainbow dash figurine and a vanilla ice cd

TG: lol howd she find that i have no idea

TG: the internet probably

TG: i mean thats where i found the book i gave her

TG: you can find anything on the internet amirite

TG: also im so fucking stuffed with roses mom food you have no idea

TG: i think she ordered from a caterer because ive never seen her cook but whatever

TG: ive eaten enough to last till new year

TG: of next year

TG: kinda wish you were here

TG: you should get to know everyone some day

TG: theyre awesome and you would like them

TG: rose seems to think i have a crush on you though

TG: but its rose so she does that

TG: jade is the sweetest most innocent girl in the world

TG: one day she dropped an f bomb and the whole group just thought welp thats it its freezing in hell it was good knowing yall

TG: shes also like so smart such a nerd

TG: speaking of nerds

TG: im happy cause i finally get to see john again after what feels like years

TG: the bestest of bros

TG: he likes movies like you

TG: though his thing is more like shitty action flicks

TG: its so good to be with friends

TG: like it feels like nothing but friendship is so fucking important

TG: i love them

TG: and i love the fact that i care just as much about you than i do about them despite the fact that three months ago you hated me

TG: can you believe

TG: oh fuck im getting sappy arent i

TG: just forget everything i said im tired

TG: we should probably go to sleep

TG: but i dont think any of us wants to get their ass off the bathroom floor

TG: oh well

TG: guess youll just wake up tomorrow with my huge wall of spamming

TG: night dude

TurntechGodhead ceased pestering CarcinoGeneticist


	22. Chapter 22

CarcinoGenticist started pestering TurntechGodhead

CG: SO.

CG: I WOKE UP TO YOUR MIDNIGHT RANT.

CG: I’M HAPPY WE’RE FRIENDS TOO, DAVE, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW.

CG: NOBODY KNOWS QUITE HOW TO TURN EVERYTHING INTO A DICK JOKE THAN YOU.

TG: hi karkat

TG: i just wanted to say i love you

CG: ?

TG: also im pregnant with your baby

CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK.

TG: hehe

“What are you doing, John?”

“hehe”

“Is that my phone?”

John lifted his head from Dave’s phone.

“No, it’s not.”

“Give me that back,” Dave lunged towards John.

“No way,” John giggled, keeping the phone away from Dave.

TG: your baby karfvjvnofgo e.w[

CG: …

“Oh my god, John, you didn’t write that, I can’t believe you,”

“Hahahahahhhahaaa mgmfmmfh”

Dave was stifling John with a pillow.

TG: im so sorry fuck that was john hes an ass

CG: SO MUCH FOR PRAISING YOUR “BESTEST OF BROS” I GUESS.

TG: oh god i was tired but yeah that’s part of being friend with john thats for sure

TG: i think i should sue him for identity theft

“pfaaaaaaaahhhh”

John took a deep breath after being freed from pillow hell.

CG: HE DIDN’T DO A VERY CONVINCING IMPERSONATION, IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.

TG: but like im totally pregnant with your baby karkat

CG: OF COURSE YOU ARE.

TG: im serious you got me impregnated

CG: AND WHO IS THE BABY?

TG: ehhh idk

TG: i think its john

TG: john is the biggest fucking baby in this affair

CG: OH DEAR GOD I DON’T WANT TO BE THIS ASSHOLE’S FATHER.

TG: looks like you are already flooded with the exact feeling of what it is to be johns dad

TG: congrats

“My dad loves me,” commented John over Dave’s shoulder.

“John I think you already meddled enough with this conversation.”

“Well then close your phone and come have brunch downstairs, because I think I smell some sweet pancakes,”

“I thought you didn’t like cake.”

“Pancakes are not the same thing, come on.”

“Oh, alright, let me just say ciao to Karkat.”

TG: sorry gtg theres food ttyl

CG: ALL RIGHT, TALK TO YOU LATER.

TurntechGodhead stopped pestering CarcinoGeneticist

CG: ALSO, YEAH, I WISH I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH YOU AS WELL LAST NIGHT.


	23. Chapter 23

TentacleTherapist started pestering TurntechGodhead

TT: Dave.

TT: Not to freak you out, but I’m in the hospital.

TT: Before you start to worry about me, just know that it’s my mother.

TT: She…she drank too much last night and I found her passed out on the kitchen floor. She is going to be okay, they simply need to keep her until enough alcohol is out of her system for her to function decently.

TT: She is still unconscious.

TT: I haven’t slept.

TT: I’m a bit tired, and I’m sorry for not having contacted you earlier, but if you receive my messages, know that I feel like I need some company.

TT: I need to

TT: I need to talk to someone.

TG: holy shit rose

TG: where the fuck are you

TG: im coming immediately

TT: Where do you want me to be?

TT: I’m at Charles Darwin hospital.

TT: I spent the night in my mother’s room, but now I’m the hall.

TT: I also texted Jade and John.

TT: and Kanaya.

TT: John cannot come.

TT: Jade has not answered yet.

TT: Kanaya is already here.

TG: im coming right now

TurntechGodhead stopped pestering TentacleTherapist

 

He wasn’t exactly sure this is where he was supposed to go, but it seemed to be the reception of the hospital, so he walked through the automated doors with a little hesitation. It quickly faded away when he saw Rose on the waiting chairs, her head resting on the lap of a hijabi girl gently petting her head.

She had her eyes closed and looked somewhat peaceful.

He went and stood in front of her, but she didn’t quite open her eyes and he got stuck with awkwardly standing in front of the other girl. She looked at him, and he just kind of went,

“Uh, hi. I’m Dave.”

The confused girl’s face lit up.

“Oh! Yes, I know who you are. I am Kanaya.”

“Dave.”

Rose had opened her eyes.

“hey,” Dave said.

“hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be okay.”

“good.”

“Dave?”

“yeah?”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck would you be sorry?”

“I’ve been kind of a pretentious broad for all those years. I know this might seem like an odd time to say this, but…I don’t know. I think that’s the thing. I’ve acted like I knew for so long, the truth is I don’t know. I’m seventeen, I spent my life sheltered and cared for, and though I’m intellectual, I just don’t know shit about life.”

“It’s okay Rose, it’s not like you’re the only one.”

“I spent all those years playing brat with my mom, just because that’s what I thought she was asking for with her gifts and parties and everything.”

Rose sobbed.

“But she was lonely, and she had problems of her own I wouldn’t look at since I assumed that, like me, she asked for no help in life. I judged her for being imperfect.”

“But the truth is, she may have been imperfect, but she always treated me like a worthy human being, and did things so I would become a happy adult, even if there were flaws in the way she tried to do it.”

“I should have cared more about her.”

“It’s not your responsibility to be caring for your mother, Rose.”

“Not entirely. But maybe just a little. I’m old enough now that I should at least be able to treat her like a human being I care about.”

“Yeah.”

Dave finally sat on one of the other chairs.

“Has Jade texted back?”

She nodded.

“She said she would come, but I think I’ll go back home for a few hours, the hospital will call if my mom wakes up and I need to rest.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea. Will you be okay, alone at home?”

“I’ll be with her,” Kanaya said.

 

“okay then,” Dave shrugged.

He stayed maybe ten more minutes. He made sure that Rose was going to be fine, and that she was going to text him if she needed anything, then he went back to his place. He felt like he had been a bit useless, but her was just glad she seemed to be fine. And she seemed to be close to Kanaya, too.

He felt something off, though. He wasn’t sure why. He breathed out and a cloud of vapor formed in front of his face. He inhaled and the cold air burned his throat and inside his nose a little. Fuck it was freezing.

New year was tonight. Maybe he’d stay on his computer until midnight, as a celebration. Maybe not. He was kind of tired.

_she always treated me like a worthy human being, and did things so I would become a happy adult_

…

He looked up at his apartment from the bottom of his building. Grey, boring thing. It was such a crammed and unhomely place when compared to Rose’s house, or even Karkat’s.

But it was cold outside, and he didn’t feel like staying out. He couldn’t avoid pushing the door to the dingy hall, and climbing the stairs. He couldn’t avoid home.


	24. Chapter 24

_she always treated me like a worthy human being, and did things so I would become a happy adult_

Dave couldn’t sleep.

He tried, that’s for sure, he was in bed and everything. His mind just kept running, trying desperately to make him realize something before the clock hit midnight.

_she always treated me like a worthy human being, and did things so I would become a happy adult_

Don’t think about it.

_she always treated me like a worthy human being, and did things so I would become a happy adult_

Fuck.

The word printed itself in Dave’s mind, maybe not for the first time, but for the first time being acknowledged, and it was a hard pill to swallow.

_Abuse. Neglect._

It wasn’t _normal_ the way his bro treated him. The way he always felt on edge when he was home. The way he always hoped to maybe pass under his radar this time. To not have to suffer his lessons. The way he hardly knew anything about him or anything.

He couldn’t put a finger on how he felt. Sad. Bitter. Angry. Apathetic.

What could he do about it?

He didn’t want to call the child services or whatever, he didn’t want to be swept by all of these formalities and end up far from his friends. Mostly he didn’t want to confront Bro.

What was a year, a year and a half, before he could move on?

It was a lot and not that much all at once.

He just wanted to be somewhere else. With his friends. With Karkat.

11:33, on his phone.

Karkat. His smile, his rants, the way his hair dressed on his head, how he managed to be both a salty lil shit and the incarnation of innocence. How it was so easy to talk to him, how he was nice, how he wore sweaters three sizes too large for him.

How he was passionate, how his eyes lit up when the subject of something he liked came up. How he cared so much under his little pretention of hating everyone. How he managed to not let his differences get in the way of interacting with people and being liked.

How Dave’s heart clenched at the sight of him, how his skin burned to his contact. How Dave kept thinking of him, how Karkat came up often in his dreams, and how those dreams felt intense and joyful no matter how tame they might have been. The way Dave just…wanted to touch him, whenever he was sad or distraught, or just whenever, actually.

Here was another word Dave had avoided for a while now.

_Love._

_Gay._

This one shocked him most maybe, not because it was a bigger deal but because HOLY SHIT IT HAD BEEN SO OBVIOUS. Parts of him, of his mind and his body had known since, well, since the first times they started seriously hanging out, probably.

Dave buried his face in his pillow and let out a whiny moan.

He was fucked. Also pretty much unironically gay. Well, not gay. Maybe? Who cared. He was in love with Karkat Vantas, the cutest, warmest guy in the world. The guy who looked up at the white, snowy sky with a great contemplation, the guy who wore that Zorro costume and owned it.

He suddenly craved to touch, talk or see Karkat.

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: hey karkat

TG: i know its late but like

TG: i needed to talk to you and shit

CG: WHAT ABOUT?

TG: holy shit youre awake

CG: WELL NOT ONLY IS IT NOT MIDNIGHT YET, BUT THIS SPECIFIC MIDNIGHT ALSO HAPPENS TO BE NEW YEARS EVE AND I’M MAKING A POINT OF STAYING AWAKE UNTIL THEN. IT’S KIND OF POINTLESS, AS I’M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, BUT SINCE YOU MESSAGED ME MAYBE WE COULD BE THE FIRST TO TELL EACH OTHER HAPPY NEW YEAR, RIGHT?

TG: yeah

TG: thatd be great

CG: WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

TG: oh idk

TG: i just felt like talking to you mainly

TG: but i do wonder

TG: did it ever happen to you to like

TG: have something happen to you and its really obvious and it was really obvious all along but you didnt see it and then it hits you and you actually realize you didnt see it because you didnt want to deal with it

CG: YEAH, OF COURSE.

CG: I MEAN. THERE WAS THE FACT OF REALIZING I WASN’T ACTUALLY WHITE AND NEVER WAS GOING TO BE NO MATTER HOW WHITE I ACTED.

CG: I KNOW IT SOUNDS A BIT STUPID BUT IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL I JUST FIGURED IF I WAS WHITE ENOUGH ON THE INSIDE IT WOULD JUST BE THE SAME.

CG: SHOCKERS: IT’S NOT REALLY THE SAME. I STILL GOT RAISED SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY. DEPENDING ON WHERE I GO, I STILL GET TREATED A BIT DIFFERENTLY.

CG: BUT I GUESS THAT’S FORGIVABLE FOR A YOUNG MIND.

CG: THE WORSE IS WHEN I FALL IN LOVE.

CG: I NEVER REALIZE IT, OR EVEN CONSIDER IT AT FIRST AND THEN I END UP REALIZING I HAVE COMPLETELY FALLEN FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER LIKE ME BACK.

CG: IT SUCKS.

CG: ESPECIALLY WITH GUYS, BECAUSE WITH GIRLS I CAN OFTEN AT LEAST SINCERELY BELIEVE I HAVE A SLIGHT CHANCE, AND THEN WHEN IT FAILS RELATE TO A WHOLE CULTURE OF GUYS BEING REJECTED BY CHICKS.

CG: THOUGH PART OF THAT CULTURE IS MOSTLY A BIG MYSOGINISTIC ENTITLED MESS.

CG: OKAY, NO, SCRATCH THAT, ALL OF THAT CULTURE IS THAT.

CG: BUT AT LEAST I DON’T FEEL ALONE, AND I DON’T FEEL AS GUILTY BECAUSE, COMPARED TO THEM, AT LEAST I’M DEALING WITH IT MYSELF AND NOT BLAMING AN ENTIRE GENDER.

CG: BUT WHEN IT’S WITH GUYS I ALWAYS END UP BLAMING MY OWN SEXUALITY, AND FEEL LIKE I’M IMPOSING IT SOMEHOW, EVEN IF I DO NOTHING TO COERCE THE OTHER GUY INTO LIKING ME BACK.

CG: I KNOW IT’S STUPID, THAT I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL GUILT OVER MY FEELINGS ANY MORE THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE DO, JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN’T BE RECIPROCATED.

CG: PAIN IS TO LOVE WHAT SALT IS TO WATER.

CG: AND WHEN YOU KNOW HOW BIG ARE THE OCEANS, YOU REALIZE IT’S NOT SPECIAL, FOR LOVE TO BE ONE-SIDED.

CG: ALL THAT POETIC BULLCRAP TO SAY THAT YEAH, I DO THE DENIAL THING, LIKE ANYONE.

TG: holy shit dude

TG: thats kind of sad

TG: also “pain is to love what salt is to water” that like a book quote or something

CG: NOT THAT I REMEMBER, NO.

TG: its kind of cool

CG: THANKS.

TG: and about the bisexual thing

TG: where you ever like in denial of that

TG: howd you find out

CG: WELL, FOR ONE THAT WASN’T REALLY A THING OF DENIAL FOR ME, I THINK.

CG: I ALWAYS KIND OF KNEW IT EXISTED, FROM MY BROTHER’S RANTS AND FROM THE INTERNET.

CG: AND IT WAS JUST THE LABEL THAT MOST CLOSELY STUCK WITH WHAT I FELT.

CG: SO I ADOPTED IT.

TG: oh ok

CG: IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT.

TG: oh yeah wont you look at that it is

TG: wait for it

CG: HAPPY NEW YEAR

TG: happy new year bro

TG: welp

TG: hows 2014 for you so far

CG: NOT TOO BAD, ACTUALLY.

CG: FOR ONE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, AND NOT JUST BINGING ON YOUTUBE ALL NIGHT.

CG: AND SECOND IT’S ACTUALLY SOMEONE I ENJOY TALKING TO.

TG: same here dude though i kind of wish you were there in flesh and shit

CG: YEAH, I FEEL THE SAME.

TG: so whats your resolution gonna be

CG: I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I USUALLY DON’T MAKE ONE BECAUSE IT ONLY SERVES YOUR FUTURE SELF TO PURPOSEFULLY DISOBEY YOUR PAST SELF AND THEN SELF-LOATHING ENSUES.

CG: I’M TRYING TO BRING OUT A TRUCE BETWEEN ALL OF MY SELVES, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

CG: IT’S NOT WORKING VERY WELL.

TG: i think my resolution is going to try to be less of a douche

TG: like not stop being cool and doing the things i do but maybe talking about my feelings more and try to pay attention to others and shit

TG: idk probably sounds stupid

CG: THE ONLY THING STUPID ABOUT IT IS THAT YOU AREN’T A DOUCHE, DAVE.

TG: why thanks but no need to deny it

TG: im also an idiot

CG: DAVE I WILL NOT CONDONE YOU STARTING THE YEAR ON SUCH A FUCKING PESSIMISTIC VIEWPOINT DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME.

TG: whats your resolution

CG: TO DEAL WITH SOME SHIT WITH MYSELF, I GUESS.

TG: like what

CG: IT’S NOT RELEVANT TO YOU.

TG: oh come on just tell me

CG: I CAN’T. I REALLY CAN’T, DAVE.

TG: okay

CG: I’M SORRY.

TG: yeah no its fine

TG: ive got some things i cant tell you either

TG: its nothing big but like

TG: there is just no way i can phrase it so it sounds smooth

TG: maybe one day

TG: like ill tell you part of it

TG: but im just not ready

CG: I DON’T THINK I CAN EVER TELL YOU WHATEVER IT IS I’M TRYING TO DEAL WITH, BUT IT HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH TRUST OR ANYTHING, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

TG: hm

TG: hey

TG: i dont feel sleepy

TG: and like idk when you go to sleep

TG: but maybe youd like to spend the night with me till one of us falls asleep

TG: we can chat and watch youtube videos ill send you links

TG: keep each other company

TG: i dont want to be alone tonight

CG: ME NEITHER, THAT’S A GOOD IDEA I THINK

TG: awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this story is set in 2014. You didn't think I'd make them go through 2016, did you? Or I could in an alternate universe where 2016 is a reasonable year that makes sense.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, not doing my work again. Also, sorry for the angst.

The thing after the Chrsitmas break is that teachers sometimes felt like they were _so fucking starved_ to get shit going. Like, Dave was not ready for it. He wasn’t ready for anything.

He was glad he could see Karkat every day again, but god was it exhausting somewhere, to hold it nearly every damn second. _I like you. I’m in love with you. I want to touch you, to hold your hand, to kiss you._

Hahaha yeah bro no homo.

Also he was just exhausted in general. He wanted to go home even less than he did before, he paid even less attention in class than he did before. Mostly, he was making scenarios in his head in which he had gathered the strength to confess to Karkat. Sometimes they were torture scenarios where he said no, cut ties, started hating him again. Sometimes it was sweet, escaping scenarios where he said yes and they lived blissfully in a post-apocalyptic world or something. Or got married and lived a nice life in a sweet suburban home with cats and a bathroom like Rose’s. It was all very stupid, but for some reason, Dave could not get tired of them.

They were a sweet fucking addiction in a world he wasn’t sure he still gave a shit about.

 

Oh well.

Also, Mrs.Henry has decided to make the teams for the upcoming history tournament and he realized he hadn’t started studying at all for that shit. He was put in a team with Nepeta, Aradia and Karkat. He didn’t even know where to start, or really felt like doing it to be honest.

He still looked forward to the tournament, because of the way the others talked about that weekend in April like it was the best time of their nerdy lives. Something something about yelling political debates and sexual innuendos in the halls of a Holiday Inn and get shut down by the teacher for having unacceptable public behavior and bring shame on the almighty George Sand High.

The paperwork came through, too. Thanks to the parent foundation’s subventions, it would only cost him 80$ for the weekend, plus he needed a parent signature. Ugh.

He dealt with it by letting the permission slip on the kitchen counter and hoping bro would notice. Three hours later, the slip was signed and a note reading “NERD” on one side and “Training on the roof tonight, for the money,” was next to it. Ugh.

He handed in the paper along with the money the next day.

Fun fact: sunglasses are a pretty good way to hide a black eye.

That trip better be fucking worth it.

_He’ll spend a whole weekend with Karkat, including sleeping in the same hotel room, possibly the same bed._

Okay, it would be worth it.

On January 11th, he had a dream and he woke up from it with drool on his pillow and cum in his undies and the lingering feeling of having been well fucked by his best friend and he hated himself for it.

He spent a shocking amount of time in the back of his wardrobe to simmer his thoughts, too.

He didn’t cry.

He didn’t cry until a Thursday lunch period, when he got out of the class during a mini-quiz activity to go to the bathroom, and found himself sobbing in a stall corner, he wasn’t even sure why. He tried his best to make it stop quickly, the very thought of crying was kind of abject to him. But then you-know-who got into the bathroom, asking if he was okay.

“m’fine,” he said, almost managing to not sound like he was swallowing tears big as baseballs.

“You don’t sound fine. Dave, you’ve been kind of weird since we came back from the Christmas break.”

“nah dude im just a little stressed that’s all those teachs are crazy it’s been a week and they’re already blowing assignments at us full force can you believe seriously they’ve got no chill, none at all, like what’s your butt hurt what have you got against teens?”

As he spoke the knot in his throat untangled slightly.

“yeah,” he added after getting no response from Karkat.

“Dave…” Karkat said, not sure what to respond.

There was a sort of *thing* in his voice that made Dave’s heart do the fucking mambo alto acrobatic fucking pirouette and freeze frame and also made him want to cry again.

“I…I’m fignh,” he said, choking on his words halfway through the (pretty basic) sentence.

And then he sniffed and then he sobbed and then it was too late to pretend anything.

He was leaning against the stall door, and the shabby thing made it easy to tell that Karkat was leaning on the other side.

He opened the door and Karkat fell to the ground in the stall and let out a series of swears that made Dave laugh.

“Fuckin’ glad I could help,” Karkat mumbled. “Seriously, though, what’s wrong?”

Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know man…it’s like, the feels, y’know. Also, you are beautiful sprawled out on that piss-ridden floor like that.”

Karkat got himself up and nudged Dave.

“Just be glad I didn’t take you down with me.”

“Nah, sorry, didn’t feel like it today.”

He then put his hand on Dave’s arm in a comforting gesture.

“Don’t be ashamed of having feelings in front of me, seriously, I know you’re not a stone cold bitch and seriously there is nothing wrong in that.”

Hug? Hug? Please hug.

“Yeah,” Dave put his hand over the one Karkat had on his shoulder. He was definitely reaching Maximum Heart RateTM and it actually relieved him when Karkat slipped out his hand and encouraged him to go back to the class. No hug. Maybe it was better like that, Dave thought. Like, he didn’t really want to feel like he had extorted that shit from Karkat. Also that fluke of a crush was better to not last months because it was very, very much tiring.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the other chapter was just too shitty and sad so I had to write something else

 

“The worse thing is like I KNOW he’s bisexual, and that theoretically speaking he could totally be into me, but, like, come on, I’ve been told enough that he doesn’t fall for ‘straight’ guys. Also it doesn’t change the fact that I’m kind of a huge useless potato he befriended by pity and he wouldn’t fall for me even if that was his type. Oh my god, maybe I just fell for him because that whole thing about the fact that he could be into me went to my head. If I weren’t the coolest guy I know I’d think that’s pathetic. Anyway, how would I tell him anyway? Like hey you doing I was wondering if you’d like to smoosh no bromo. Haha. Picture that. His cute face would go all wtf on my ass that would be priceless. Yeah, the thing is, afterward when he realizes what I’ve said and either thinks that a. I’m pulling some mean, tasteless prank on him like come on I wouldn’t do that but yeah or b. I feel entitled to his ass or something.”

His words were barely above a mumble and Dave was only able to pronounce them because they felt comforting from inside the dark, small space of his closet.

“Oh man I’m so fucking gay I can’t even pull an ironic twist on that shit like kill me I’ve spent way too much time thinking about his ass. Like, both in the literal and metaphorical sense of the term. Talk about a choice ass. This guy is like top of the charts top prize at the fair and if he didn’t exist someone with a twistedly magnificent mind would need to invent him.”

_Pain is to love what salt is to water_

Man that guy was _cheesy._

But it was still kind of an apt metaphor. Salt dissolves so well in water, yet too much of it just renders it improper for consumption.

He whined.

Then he took out his phone.

TurntechGodhead started pestering TentacleTherapist

TG: hey

TG: rose

TG: okay ive got something to tell you

TG: but before i tell it let it be known that ill be painfully direct and brief in regards to what i have to confess and i expect the same of you when it comes to your sarcasm and teasing on it

TG: do you get me

TT: I do.

TG: great okay

TG: so uh

TG: how do i put this

TG: im gay for karkat

TT: You are? That’s great, Dave, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me this.

TG: woah wait who the fuck are you and what did you do to rose lalonde please

TG: like you come at me without even a i told you dawg and i am disoriented in my expectations

TT: Well, on the one hand it is true that I told you so, but I also pushed it quite improperly on a version of you who was not ready to deal with this yet, and it was rude of me, I am sorry.

TT: I know from firsthand experience that it is hard to deal with such feelings when unaccustomed to the idea. Also, sometimes being a smart ass is just not worth hurting someone’s feelings.

TG: when did you get the epiphany

TT: Dave, an unusual gesture on my part here, I am attempting to be sincere. Perhaps return the favor?

TG: what was not sincere about me going oh hey btw im fucking gay for my best bro and i dont know what to do about it except as for advice from the lesbian queen herself

TT: Well, I can try and give you advice, but I myself was in your position about a month ago, ergo I’m not sure I can be of much use.

TG: did you feel like you were dying inside every time she looked at you

TT: I felt warm, and nervous, and I both wanted to be with her in every moment and wanted to avoid her because I could not deal with what she made me feel like.

TG: ok were on the same page then

TT: After she brought me back from the Hospital, I was very much looking for her support, we hugged and talked and I confessed then.

TT: I’m not sure I realized fully what I was doing, I was very much in a state of shock-brought disinhibition. My ego was in a self-destruction mode, if I dare say. Luckily, she felt the same way and the risk I took turned out to have paid off. I can say the make outs we have now are well worth the risk it was to ask her out.

TG: aw man

TG: thats so fucking cute

TT: Curses on you Dave, you made me regret not being in a position where I can ‘mack the shit' out of my girlfriend.

TG: well at least youre in a position that if she were there you could

TG: instead of just having to wait for the gay in your soul to kick the bucket so you can go back to being a good bro

TT: I think you should confess, Dave.

TG: and i think not

TT: Why so?

TG: idk man thats like

TG: way too much for me

TG: im not worthy of that shit

TG: karkat is a precious soul and the best and i dont want to ruin this friendship for him

TT: I think he likes you back.

TG: rose youve never even talked to him how could you know

TT: It’s just a hunch. I’m not one to push for preposterous suppositions, but I have a pretty good instinct and there is nothing to contradict me in this particular case.

TT: This boy would have not stayed with you unless he genuinely liked you, and if that is achieved, then the rest is just a smooth ride.

TT: He is bisexual.

TG: do you think i not know

TG: its just not enough proof okay

TG: not enough proof to make sure i dont ruin everything like an idiot

TT: You can’t ruin _everything_ , Dave.

TT: Not unless you are dishonest about your feelings, not unless you know your motivations for pursuing a relationship.

TT: I understand that you are great friends with Karkat, but don’t ruin yourself trying to deny your emotional needs.

TT: Give him what you want to give him, and take of him what he is willing to give you.

TT: and perhaps it’s more than you’d expect.

TG: wise woman rose

TG: you go and become a cryptid with your girlfriend

TG: thanks for trying to help me

TG: maybe

TG: maybe one day if i have the courage ill tell him

TG: if like there is enough hints he likes me back and shit

TG: but dont get your hopes up

TT: I get it, a good love story cannot be told unless you get your fair share of pining, and so on so forth.

TT: Though, please do not kill yourself by dollar store food overdose before you at least try.

TG: i wont

TG: worst case scenario i do that after he rejects me

TG: wait no bad idea then he would get all guilty and i dont want to die with that burden

TG: fuck

TG: you know i think ill just die either way

TG: anyway please dont tell any of this to jade or john

TG: im not ready for them to know

TT: I won’t, trust me.

TT: It’ll be quite a hassle to be unable to fawn over how much of a dork you are with them, but your secret is safe with me.

TG: thanks

TT: You’re welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn dave back at it again with the closet monologues


	27. Chapter 27

They were going to study history, for the club.

Dave was starting to get familiar with Karkat’s neighborhood, and his home.

He did not know his room, however, and he felt quite…well, satisfied when he finally got to see it.

It was a bright, clean room with pale grey walls and a checkered comforter on the bed, ikea wooden furniture and a well-furnished library in a corner. A big window with opaque curtains, and romcom posters. It was very much Karkat, and Dave felt very much endeared by the place.

“So,” Karkat said. “Aradia is more focused on the Electoral College, Nepeta is more focused on American History, so I guess that leaves us with 20th century world History and International politics.”

“That makes sense. What do we start with?”

“Maybe we could look at world leaders, especially in developed and Large-population countries. I’ve made a document, maybe we can cut it and make flashcards?”

“Or you could like, ask the name or the country and I answer and vice-versa.”

“That sounds good.”

He went and retrieved the document from his Drawer. He then sat on his bed and Dave sat with him.

“All right,” Karkat said. “Let’s start. I tell you a country and you tell me its leader. Just the family name is fine, but at the tournament if you try a first name and its wrong, then you get the answer wrong.”

“Got it.”

“Who is the leader of France?”

“The President.”

Karkat looked at Dave with a don’t-kid-me look.

“It’s like Francis Holland, I think?”

“Francois Hollande.”

“Close enough.”

“China?”

“Uh…Mao Tse-Tung?”

“You’re a couple of decades late on that one, it’s Xi Jinping.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Russia?”

“Oh, that’s Easy, it’s Vladimir Putin.”

“Yeah, easy questions are based on speed, so you better have some specific knowledge, too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I wasn’t much better than you my first year either. You think you don’t know shit, but then under adrenaline you try yourself and turns out you actually know a whole lot as long as you’ve studied a bit.”

“My thing is more like random bits of knowledge like did you know Casanova once pretended he could magically make an old lady pregnant so she would patron him? Then he had sex with her in the presence of a young chick to make himself aroused and stuff and just fucking fled. Casanova was quite the guy to flee his problems, actually.”

“How do you know that?”

“Late night reruns and youtube available BBC documentaries.”

  
“Maybe I should do the world politics and you should do 20th century History. You think you can do that?”

 

“Yeah, actually, that sounds cool. Hey, I know, lets roleplay as figures from the cold war I’ll be Reagan and you’ll be Gorbatchev.”

“Why am I the communist?”

“Hey, I’m _Reagan_.”

“Fair enough.”

So they switched to talking and learning about important events of the 20th century. It turned out Dave was pretty good with that, though he had a tendency to be distracted from serious discussion.

It was a lot of fun. (Surprisingly.)

And by the end Dave was just sprawled on the bed, with Karkat laid perpendicular to him, their legs crossing.

“So when is your dad coming home?”

“Uh, tomorrow afternoon, I think. He’s on a business trip to San Fransisco.”

“Wait, really?”

“Uh, yeah. It happens sometimes.”

“I don’t wanna go home.”

“Why?”

“I’m good here.”

“…do you want to stay the night?”

“Wait, what?”

A sort of excitement bubbled up in Dave’s chest.

“Well…I mean, if you want. I don’t know if any of my pajamas will fit you but worst case scenario I just go and snatch one from my bro’s drawer, he won’t miss it. Tomorrow is Saturday, you can take the bus to get home. I may have a cot somewhere downstairs, but I mean if it doesn’t bother you we could just, uh, like share my bed?”

Hello 911 what is your emergency yes im lacking all of my oxygen all of a sudden.

Dave tried to answer but it sounded more like a wheeze than anything so he just shook his head to the affirmative. Karkat bit his lip and smiled.

“Okay. Do you need to like ask anyone or, uh?”

“My bro doesn’t care but I guess I’ll send him a text anyway.”

“Cool. It’s set then.”

Karkat got out of the room and Dave just fucking curled up like an idiot like oh my fuck.

He let out a muffled scream in his hands.

Karkat got back into the room.

“So, ok, my dad left me 40$ for the weekend. Pizza?”

Dave shook his head to the affirmative.

“You okay, buddy?”

“yeah, yeah, everything is good I guess I just haven’t had a sleepover in a long time.”

“Didn’t you have one last month?”

“oh yeah. I mean. Yeah I forgot about that.”

“…okay.”

 

 ---------

 

It was late, but quite frankly Dave could not sleep with Karkat right besides him, oh no.

“Are you awake?”

“MMmm? What?”

“I was just wondering…”

“Is now really the time to wonder?”

“…yeah?”

“Okay, whatever, go ahead.”

“What was it like, dating Terezi?”

“Very touchy. That girl couldn’t keep her hands to herself. I guess it made sense given it was one of her main means of getting a sense of me. Why do you care?”

“Oh, uh well. I guess it’s just I’ve never dated someone, so, I was curious.”

“We had started dating in October last year. We met through the reading club, since she is in that disability class they encouraged them to get involved with activities to meet other students and we clicked, I guess.”

Dave just made a listening noise, encouraging Karkat to go on.

“She made advances and I was more than happy to reciprocate them. It was fun, hanging out with her, she always knew how to say the thing that made it impossible to stay mad, had fun ideas, and it turned into sloppy make outs.”

“Did you make out on that bed?”

“What? I mean, yes but..”

“Ew.”

“Oh, come on, you asked. Where the fuck did you think we made out?”

“Under the kitchen sink, obviously, like civilized beings.”

“Shut up. I guess you don’t want to know any more than that about our relationship anyway.”

“no no no! Go on, please.”

“Okay, but if you fucking tease me again about it I’ll bludgeon you with my most sappy, most heavy worded novel.”

“Deal.”

“We dated for seven months. On the last one, I think she was going through rough times because she became especially contentious and we were arguing all the time. Or maybe I was just a shitty boyfriend, because we broke up and nearly immediately after she stopped being like that. We stopped talking for a while, then it became lukewarm again between us, and now we’re good friends I guess. I'm still not sure why we broke up. We just...stopped being in love? I don't know. I still loved her when she told me we couldn't be together anymore.”

“How many ice cream pots?”

“Three, plus at least a weekend of marathoning my entire film library.”

“Damn.”

“The crying, eating ice cream and watching movies part is actually not the worse of a break up. It’s just the expression of it. The worse is having grades drop at school, the sense that you are unlovable and that you’ll never find someone right again linger for weeks, even months. It's like losing a family member. Not from death, but just from...giving up on it.”

“Do you still have that feeling?”

“…no. Or, I guess I still have it, but for different reasons.”

“So you’re over her.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a crush on someone else now?”

(How transparent can you be, Dave? Well, maybe it’ll get his mind clearer on whether he actually has a chance or not.)

“…”

“…Karkat?”

“Wait, I’m thinking.”

“You’re thinking?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a crush, or no?”

“…no. Do you?”

Dave hesitated.

“yeah.”

“Wait, really? On whom?”

Dave maybe imagined it, but there seemed to have been a certain sting in his voice.

“Classified.”

“Is it Rose?”

“oh, what? No. First of all, Rose has a girlfriend, second of all, just, no.”

“A girlfriend? Is she…?”

“Take a fucking wild guess buddy.”

“I didn’t know. That’s cool, I guess. Then is it your other friend, Jade?”

“It’s not my friends.”

“Do I know her?”

_Yes, you know Him, you fucking idiot. It’s you._

“yeah, I guess I can say that. That’s also why I can’t tell you who it is.”

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Is it Aradia?”

“Karkaaaat. I’m not going to tell you.”

“Well, you’re the one who brought it up.”

“I regret it. Please forget I said anything. I don’t have a crush. Nevermind. Go back to sleep.”

Karkat let out a swear-filled grumble and turned his back away from Dave. Dave was there, mentally drowning in the fact that he was there, alone, in the same bed than Karkat and couldn’t gather up the courage to just. Fucking tell him.

_Just imagine how awkward it would be if he didn’t like you back?_

BLUH BLUH HUGE WHIMP.

He just. Tried to go to sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then, gratuitous shenanigans ensued.

When Karkat woke up he didn’t register at first why exactly Dave was there in his bed in front of him and idly wondered if he was still asleep. Then it came all flooding down to him like a tsunami of self-hatred and sadness. Dave had a crush. Probably on Aradia (it could be someone else…but Karkat didn’t really know? Aradia was the girl he knew that Dave got along the best with. Nepeta was really out of the question. Maybe it was some other girl in the club or in their classes, but then Dave would have not been too hesitant to tell him).

He tried and failed not to be jealous. When he felt that a big knot was tying itself in his throat, he got up and went into the bathroom, and there he cried seriously hoping Dave wouldn’t wake up right away.

He could almost hear a made up Terezi voice in his head going _I warned you about getting a crush, dude._

He hiccupped through his wails.

Oh godammit.

_Hic_

Just the stupidest. Dave didn’t even realize how flirty he was being sometimes. _Just two bros being bros._

_Hic_

He still went along with it and invited Dave to stay the night as if it would have magically solved anything. That was damn near abuse of brohood for gay pining purposes.

_Hic_

He sniffed.

_Hic_

Okay, he needed to stop crying before Dave woke up. He got his shit together and decided to take a shower.

_Hic._

His wails calmed down. 

 ---------------

When Dave woke up, Karkat was facing him and he was fucking cute. Sure, his face was gracelessly mashed against the pillow (that was going to leave one hell of a pillow mark), and he was slightly drooling, but he still looked like a sight Dave would definitively wake up to every day of his life. He didn’t move, he just looked, appreciative. 

Karkat seemed _so soft._

He couldn’t help but softly reach a hand to his friend’s cheek, to touch it. At first it did nothing and he let his fingers linger there on the boy's skin, but then Karkat moved a little in his sleep. Dave jumped and briskly retrieved his hand.

Maybe he should try to go back to sleep, he wouldn’t want to get caught just staring at him.

\---------------

When Dave woke up the second time, Karkat wasn’t there and the shower was running. He used that time to get dressed (yesterday’s clothes, but whatever), and sit at the kitchen table, his mind running idle.

Karkat got out of the bathroom, and from the hallway saw that Dave was awake. Told him something about coffee. Dave didn’t quite get all of it. He was too busy, uh…

So, Apparently, Karkat did the head towel thing and it was kind of hilarious. Less hilarious was his full upper body nudity. Anyway, before Dave knew it Karkat was gone into his room now and he had to kind of figure out what exactly his friend had told him. He could, uh, get himself a coffee if he wanted?

Dave spotted the machine in the kitchen, fancy thing that made, like, custom lattes and everything with the capsules and shit. He was starting to get spoiled with that fancy coffee extravaganza.

Karkat, fully dressed, entered the kitchen.

“You need help? Or are you just having a telepathic conversation with my coffee machine?”

“Listen, it’s got _issues,_ I’m just trying to be supportive, lend an ear. It feels underappreciated. Maybe you should try to give it more love.”

Karkat rolled his eyes.

“You need to put the capsule here, and then you press that button.”

The machine roared and poured a nice cup of coffee. Karkat made himself another one while Dave poured milk in his, then Karkat took the milk and a bottle of honey and…oh my god.

“Karkat, you put _honey_ in your coffee?”

“Yeah? I mean…it’s good?”

“It’s kind of weird. Thought you’d like your coffee dark like your soul or something.”

“Says the guy who wears sunglasses 24/7.”

“I accidentally put lemonade in my coffee once. It was disgusting at first, but by the end of the cup I was used to it. I think I tried it with apple juice at some point. It was most definitely a waste of perfectly good apple juice.”

“And _I’m_ the weird one.”

“Yeah, okay, fair enough.”

They sipped their coffee in silence.

“I, uh, I guess I’ll be going soon.”

“Yeah, my father will come back around one o’clock I think.”

“Okay.”

Dave finished his coffee, gathered his stuff and left a bit reluctantly. He wondered what would have happened if he had said something…anything, to cue Karkat. But he didn’t, and he was due for a good session of back of the closet monologuing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short, sorry.


	29. Chapter 29

Turntechgodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: sup man

TG: hows it goin

CG: I JUST FUCKING LEARNED MY FATHER GOT HIMSELF A DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY I CAN’T EVEN COMPREHEND.

CG: FIRST OF ALL HOW DID ANY LADY UNDERSTAND HIM LONG ENOUGH FOR THERE TO BE A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING ON THE TERMS OF A DATE?

TG: maybe he magically learned how to use dating apps

CG: OH MY GOD THAT’S EVEN WORSE.

CG: SERIOUSLY, I THOUGHT MY BROTHER AND I WERE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HIM. IT’S NOT EVEN HIS ACCENT, WHICH IS PRETTY BAD, HE’S JUST GOT THE WORD ENUNCIATION OF A SLURRINGLY DRUNK WOOKIE.

TG: okay so im not just a dumb white guy thats reassuring

CG: YEAH, NO, IT’S A GIVEN NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND HIM, NOT EVEN MOST OF HIS FAMILY, ACTUALLY.

CG: AND YET DESPITE THAT HE STILL HAS MORE GAME THAN ME.

CG: GO FIGURE.

TG: haha are you salty about not having a date on valentines day

CG: WHAT? NO.

TG: its okay man i dont have a date either

CG: I MEAN. NO. I’M JUST. IMPRESSED BY MY DAD. SURE, SPENDING A POPULAR HOLIDAY BASED ON LOVE, ROMANTIC OR OTHERWISE ALONE IS KIND OF A SAD THING BUT I’M IN NO WAY BITTER ABOUT IT.

TG: are you sure

CG: YES.

TG: maybe you want to like

TG: have some sort of bachelors evening together

TG: valentines day is on a Friday this year right

CG: IT IS.

TG: then lets get a bro date and eat ice cream and complain about how alone we are together

TG: dont that sound nice

CG: ACTUALLY, IT DOES SOUND KIND OF NICE.

CG: IT’S SET, THEN.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay, so I fucked up posting the chapter the first time around, and now it's okay, but it's missing some links. It ain't the end of the world, just sayin. Sorry bout all that ruckus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like mainstream hits being mentioned, including some terrible ones, then I am sorry. If you do like em, then here's your chance, also I've linked them just like if you feel like listenin to any of em during of after this chapter. (¯\\_(ツ)_/¯).

All right, bachelor’s eve! Who-hoo!

(There is no conceivable way in which this could go wrong, never ever.)

Dave and Karkat had stopped at the dollar store before going at Karkat’s, and were carrying a shit ton of cheap chocolate and cinnamon heart candies. They had already ate half a bag when arriving home.

Dave had opposed to watching a movie this time, because come on, if they were to make the most of the fact that they were both single on valentine’s day, the _Least_ they could do is binge watch music videos about pining and heartbreak. And eat cinnamon hearts and cheap chocolate in boxes shaped like hearts.

Kind of like an ironic version of a valentine’s eve halfway between a date and an actual single moping time.

They ate some pasta, then ended up on Karkat’s bed, with his laptop in front of them, watching Justin Timberlake’s _[Cry me a River](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0)_. 

Karkat was muttering the lyrics, whereas Dave was only bubbing his head in solidarity.

"This isn't really the kind of music I usually listen to."

"What kind of music do you usually listen to?"

"Well, mostly my own stuff. And also some over the top 90's/2000's rap."

"You mean, like, that awful song about the guy who likes big butts?"

Dave looked at Karkat, shades to eyes.

"[Oh. My. God.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JphDdGV2TU)"

"What?" 

" _Becky._ " 

“No. No. nonononononononondontyoufuckingdare.”

“ _Look at her butt.”_

 _“_ ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHH.”

Karkat buried his face under a pillow. That didn’t stop Dave who stood up on Karkat’s bed.

“ _It’s so big. She looks like, one of those rap guy’s girlfriend.”_

 _“_ If you start rapping Dave Strider…”

“ _They only talk to her, because,_ __  
She looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?  
I mean, her butt, is just so big  
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there  
I mean gross, look  
She's just so,”

_“ **black.”**_

Dramatic pause. Karkat took a breath in.

Dave grinned wildly.

“ _I like big butts, I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny…”_

Incoherent screaming on Karkat’s part. Dave continued, not missing a lyrics, jumping up and down on the bed.

“… _Ladies? YEAH! Wanna roll my Mercedes? YEAH!”_

 _“_ PLEASE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT’S GOOD LET THIS STOP.”

But Dave only stopped when he was done. Then he laughed, a full, light-hearted laugh like he hadn’t had in years and Karkat also started to shake a bit with laughter from his pillow, kicked Dave in the shin who fell to his knees on the comforter. Their laughter calm downed, but didn’t die when they were out of breath, and Dave asked,

“So, what’s it gonna be next? _[My Humps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEe_eraFWWs)_ or _[Bye Bye Bye?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s)_

“I’m taking full, 100% control of the music from now on, because I absolutely don’t trust you.”

Dave chuckled. Then shrugged.

“Fair enough.”

They sat back in front of the laptop that had slid back a little (but luckily not fell off).

“Let’s pursue with the original plan, will you?”

Karkat put on _[Somebody That I Used to Know,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY)_ then _[Rolling in the Deep.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw)_ He wasn’t an indie band kind of guy, apparently, but that was fine enough by Dave. At least it was shit he knew a little because he had heard it on the radio. They lumped back, the bag of cinnamon candy still between them. It was nice. They didn’t talk, and Dave could think.

He had been thinking for a while now. Gathering the strength. Waiting for the right moment. This…this was a right moment, no? If this wasn’t it, then never would be it.

Karkat put on _[Do I Wanna Know?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM)_ Dave took a deep breath. About a minute into the song, he finally talked.

“Karkat?”

“yeah?”

The curtains were open, it was Dark, it kind of just had gotten. The lights were off and the only source of lighting were the computer screen, the hallway and the street light just in front of Karkat’s house.

“You know that thing I couldn’t tell you at New year’s eve?”

“Yeah?”

Karkat was very attentive, not sure what to expect.

“Well, I kind of wanted to tell you…I may not be, like, fully straight. I, I think that I wouldn’t especially be opposed to having a boyfriend, some day.”

Karkat’s face was burning. Like, fuck, that was unexpected. They just stayed awkwardly silent for a while and the song stopped. Karkat just put the next song in the suggestion list, _[Sweater Weather](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCdwKhTtNNw), _ kind of absentmindedly.

If he had been a computer, he would probably have been making that fan noise when the processor is just running too wildly.

Dave looked at Karkat. Why the fuck was this guy not saying anything? Was he waiting for something? Was it a good thing? A bad thing? What was it? Their looks crossed, and Dave just went “fuck it” and kissed Karkat.

It was a quick peck, it didn’t even last a second and Dave regretted it even more quickly than that. Fuck. There was no going back now. He tried to avoid looking at Karkat, who was just sitting mouth agape eyes blinking a little, but ultimately couldn’t do anything but stare at this beautiful car crash he had just gotten in.

But then Karkat took him by the shirt and pecked him right back. It lasted a little longer this time, nothing fancy, just a more careful, water-testing kiss. As soon as Karkat pulled away, Dave pulled him right back towards him like where the fuck do you think you’re going bitch, and gave his best attempt at a much more passionate kiss. He didn’t exactly know what he was doing, so he let himself be guided by Karkat, who was much less awkward at the task.

Good Lord. It was... It was...

_Fuck._ The best part was the _realness_ of it, the wet warmth of Karkat’s mouth, the way they had to part just a little to breathe, and he could feel Karkat’s short breath on his face, the way it wasn’t just fantasy, but still felt like heaven. His lips and mouth tasted like the cheap processed sweet cinnamon of the candy they had eaten all night. Hey, in this specific setting, it wasn’t a bad taste. In fact, nauseatingly spicy and sweet felt like the most appropriate taste this kiss could have had.

He pushed Karkat back on the comforter, kneeled on top of him. He would have had a thousand things to say to Karkat, but first he would have needed them to part and he just wasn’t ready to do that. Just kissing. Just enjoying the fuck out of it, and letting his chest fill up with butterflies at the idea that Karkat was letting him do this, going along with it. He pulled back briefly, opened his eyes and stared at Karkat, sprawled, eyes half-closed, going “huh?” softly and Dave just went right back at it.

Karkat moaned a little under his kisses, and he slid a hand under his oversized sweater, black, adorable thing that kept a belly so warm.

Karkat gasped.

“Your hands are _fucking cold,_ Dave.”

“Huh?”

Dave pulled back, a little (okay, more than a little) drunk on the kiss.

The song was over.

He was conscious that his hand must have felt like an ice pack on Karkat’s bare stomach, but it felt so good he removed it reluctantly.

He then placed his head in the crook of Karkat’s neck, and laughed a bit.

Karkat laughed too.

“I have just been wanting to do this for _so long_ , seriously,” Dave whispered.

“Same.”

“Happy valentine’s day.”

“Please don’t fuck with me, Dave.”

“I know you love how romantic it is.”

Karkat flicked him in the shoulder.

Dave kissed him again. When he stopped, Karkat just put a hand on his face and stroked his cheek.

“Dave…”

“Yeah?”

“Of all of the straight guys I’ve met, you’re the worse at being straight.”

“I think I’ve noticed.”

“So…are we like, together now.”

“yeah. Well. I mean. I absolutely completely fucking want to be with you and do that and all that shit. Though, uh, I’m not sure like…”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know if I want other people to know yet.”

“Oh.”

“Is that, uh, a problem? Because I mean if you absolutely want to we can come out to everybody, I don’t want us to refrain from dating just because of that it’s just I’d rather wait and not have everyone just knowing it just yet, I’m not sure why I’m just still kind of scared of people’s reactions and…”

“No, I mean, it’s fine with me too. It’ll save us a hell lot of fucking teasing, I think. Anyway…it’s kind of better just like that? Just you and me, for now?”

Just us. Dave nodded, his fingers going back up Karkat’s sweater, feeling his warm skin again.

“You son of a bitch!” Karkat threw Dave off of him, and then got on top, kissing his laughing boyfriend to shut him up.

They made out until Karkat heard the front door opening and he jumped. They quickly got back into a laptop watching position, putting on any old youtube thing that was first available. They were in a  pretty uncompromising place when Karkat’s dad walked in the room, but Dave still felt nervous, as if the fact he had been making out with this man’s son for an hour could be read on his face (having paid attention, it really was, but Karkat’s dad was blissfully clueless). He said stuff.

“Yeah, yeah, we had a good time,” Karkat answered, a bit bashful.

“…”

“How was your date?”

“…”

“Oh. Hahaha. Yeah, Dave will be going now. No, we’re not too sad to be single. We watched the shit out of music videos, so.”

“…”

“No, it wasn’t obscene stuff. Dad, I swear. Just music.”

“…”

“Daaaaaad.”

Karkat’s dad rolled his eyes and left the room. Dave knew it would be time to go, now. He hugged Karkat.

On the way home, Dave couldn’t stop smiling. It wasn’t just his mouth, it was his entire body that was trying to smile, frogs jumping around his internal organs, body retelling him again and again the way Karkat’s mouth felt on his own, Karkat’s weight felt above him, Karkat’s warmth felt on his skin. He felt like it had imprinted on every part of his memory like burning iron would’ve marked his skin, and honestly, he didn’t mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome. Also, PSA, this fic is not over, just sayin.


	31. Chapter 31

 

When Karkat got into the bus that Monday, Dave greeted him with a warm, sincere, nervous smile and he felt heat flow through his body like he had just downed a warm cup of tea after playing outside in the cold for hours. It had only been under 72 hours since he last saw him, but he was already missing him. God. He didn’t even know exactly why, but he had fallen hard for that boy. To think about 72 hours ago he still thought he had no chance whatsoever with him. Karkat smiled despite himself.

He sat next to Dave who let his fingers tangle with Karkat’s under the cover of their winter coats and bodies pressed next to one another.

Boy this boy’s hands were _cold._ Maybe if he got fucking mittens or something it would help. Karkat squeezed tight anyway. He idly wondered when would be the next time he could be able to feel Dave’s lips pressed against his. His father wasn’t due for a business trip for a few weeks at the very least, and they had agreed to not come out just yet. He knew that Dave didn’t want him to go to his place, and given what he knew about it, he didn’t exactly feel like going there either.

He brushed the back of Dave’s hand with his thumb.

Dave’s cheeks were a definite pink, maybe it was the cold, but maybe it wasn’t just that.

Karkat had listened to _Sweater Weather_ on a loop this weekend. They had texted, too. It still felt unreal to think of him as his actual, real life boyfriend. It felt nice, exciting.

“hey”

“Hey.”

“Had a good weekend?”

“My Friday was especially nice.”

Karkat blushed like a fucking virgin. This was so odd, he should have known better, but no, everything felt new again.

“I, uh,” said Dave while searching deep in his bag, “I got you pop tarts.”

He handed Karkat a slightly damaged box of strawberry frosted pop tarts.

“Why?” Karkat took them in his hands.

“Uh, I don’t know, just thought, like, I’d show my appreciation. I mean it’s not much it’s not like a diamond ring or anything but come on it’s a bit early for that, but I still wanted to give you something.”

“You’re a huge dork,” Karkat smiled.

“No way dude I’m fucking smooth.”

Karkat opened the package.

“Want one?”

“yeah, thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not all going to be fluff from now on, but this is a short chapter to give you a bit of something ,I guess.


	32. Chapter 32

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: sup

TG: bro

TG: honey

TG: babe

TG: dude

TG: asshole of my heart

TG: answer please

TG: we havent talked in at least five hours im dying

TG: are you dead

TG: am i a widow now

TG: do i have to mourn you

TG: obi wan kenobi youre my only hope

CG: DAVE.

TG: oh hey sup didnt know you wanted to talk to me

TG: i was just chilling as usual

TG: taking care of business

TG: being a busy man

CG: DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME SOMETHING, YOU CLINGY LAMP?

TG: why a lamp

CG: WHY NOT?

TG: fair point

TG: yeah anyway you know its easter break soon

CG: YEAH, I CAN’T WAIT.

CG: WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO HAVE SOME TIME TOGETHER, ALONE. IT WON’T BE TOO SOON, HONESTLY, BECAUSE I’M RATHER TIRED OF ALL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE.

CG: I JUST WANT TO SPEND SOME GOD DAMNED TIME ALONE WITH YOU, AND NOT VIRTUALLY, IF POSSIBLE.

TG: yeah same bro

TG: like seriously what is the point of a boyfriend you cant even smooch

TG: you can look but you cant touch that sweet ass

TG: anyway on the saturday of the break im hanging downtown with my friends

TG: john will be there again so were taking advantage of that

CG: OH.

TG: i was wondering if youd wanna come

TG: rose is bringing her girlfriend and i was like wait can i have my sweet bro too i swear youll like him

TG: and they were like damn hell yeah we want a piece of that choice meat too

TG: jk they were like okay yeah good idea

TG: so

CG: WAIT, DID YOU COME OUT TO YOUR FRIENDS?

TG: what no

TG: i mean

TG: ok rose knows

TG and if were really too gay she might slip up and spill the beans

TG: but like she knew since before we were together

TG: just a little before we were together

TG: and then i didnt give her much update but shell know because she knows me

TG: but like i trust her not to say anything

CG: DON’T ACT AS IF I WOULD BE ANGRY, DAVE, I TRUST YOU TO TELL ONLY THE PEOPLE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH TELLING AND WHO WON’T GO AROUND YELLING IT ON THE ROOFS. BESIDES, I’M GETTING A BIT TIRED OF HIDING IT ANYWAY. I JUST DON’T HAVE ENOUGH GUTS TO TELL ANYONE EITHER.

TG: the struggle

TG: we can take our time

TG: i mean

TG: we only have a couple days before we can

TG: you know

TG: enjoy ourselves

TG: fiesta

CG: DAVE FUCK, I KNOW YOU CAN’T SEE IT, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM FACEPALMING THROUGH MY BRAINS AT THE MOMENT.

TG: nah i think i can see it fair enough

TG: i mean if you want us to watch pure flix and sing songs to jesus instead of making out we can do that too

TG: but i mean

TG: im pretty open to the make out option personally

CG: WHEN HAVE I SAID THAT I WAS AGAINST SLOPPY MAKE OUTS?

CG: NOT AT ANY POINT OF TIME IN THIS UNIVERSE, I THINK.

CG: I’LL SMOOCH YOUR FACE SO HARD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO FEEL IT FOR A MONTH

TG: geez dude stop being so forward i think im getting turned on

CG: GOOD.

TG: why must you punish me like this

TG: you are a devil temptress and i am a mere man

CG: DAMN RIGHT I AM YOUR GOD AND YOU BOW BEFORE THE SLIGHTEST OF MY MOVEMENTS.

CG: I DON’T EVEN MEAN IN IN A KINKY WAY, I AM BEING VERY LITERAL HERE.

TG: but what if my kinks is literal gods and obeying them

CG: THEN I SHALL KINKSHAME THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.

TG: but what if

CG: DON’T SAY IT.

TG: being shamed

CG: OH MY GOD.

TG: IS my kink

CG: THEN I WOULD HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.

TG: noooooooooooooooooooo

TG: ooooooooooooooooooooo

TG: ooooooooooooooooooooo

TG: ooooooooooooooooooooo

TG: ooooooooooooooooooooo

TG: you are breaking my heart

TG: im dying

CG: JUST SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHEN AND WHERE THIS DOWNTOWN GET TOGETHER WITH YOUR FRIENDS IS SUPPOSED TO BE.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am an American. I go to garden of Olives. I spell "color" without "u" and I like to , uh...*looks at smudge writing on hand*...shoot gums.

“You alrite at the back there?”

Rose’s mom was driving he minivan filled to the brim with six teenagers. There had been a slight change of plan, and the group was all going to eat at a restaurant with Rose’s mother before hanging out downtown. She was paying. They had all insisted it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted back.

Jade, Dave and Karkat who were stuffed at the back all acquiesced. They were a bit tight, but they were fine. Rose was sat next to her mother, and John and Kanaya were on the middle benches.

“Thank you again Mrs. Lalonde for your very generous invitation,” Kanaya said.

“Oh, it’s nothing honey, you are all amazing brave kids, and I’m glad you treat you all.”

“I’m really happy to finally meet you, Kanaya!” Jade said.

“I am just as glad.”

“And Karkat, too! I can’t say I expected you to join our friend group, if I am being honest!”

“Me neither, Jade.”

She laughed.

They arrived at the Olive Garden, parked and walked inside to their reserved table. The meal was nice, they abused the breadsticks, and Rose’s mother was embarrassingly adorable despite not having taken a single drop of alcohol. She was being strong, according to Rose, a “strikingly determined and positive force” within her AA group, according to the therapist.  Rose said it factually to Dave, out of earshot of her mother, but there was an undeniable pride in her expression.

After the meal they went into a pet shop.

Or rather, they walked around and Rose’s mom got distracted at the sight of kittens in the pet shop window. So they went inside and walked through the aisles.

Rose and her mother looked at the cats, Jade looked at the dogs, Kanaya joined Rose after a little hesitation and Dave and Karkat walked around the toy aisles, maybe heading for the fish tanks?

Oh, no, Dave stopped in front of the snakes.

“Damn look at these cool dogs.”

Karkat scoffed.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

“You know I am,” Dave smiled.

They were hidden enough through the aisles. Dave took Karkat’s hand in his own, they looked at each other tenderly.

“I’d like to see your eyes more, sometimes. Why are you so adamant about those stupid shades?”

“You want to know a secret?”

“What?”

“I’m wearing these sweet-ass ironic shades for a reason.”

“What? Are you photophobic? Are you hiding something?”

“They’re colorblindness shades.”

“Uh?”

“I’m red-green colorblind. They’re a new thing, and they weren’t cheap. They don’t work very well indoors, but frankly it’s just…I won’t take them off. I like it too much to see in color. Like, dude red is so fucking awesome a color you have no idea. It’s so intense. I can’t believe my bitch-ass eyes won’t let me see it naturally.”

Karkat furrowed his brows.

“I’ve never heard of that.”

“Like I said, it’s pretty new. Before I wore normal shades a lot, but if you ask Jade or Rose or John you’ll know it wasn’t as often as now.”

“So you actually see me better _with_ your shades?”

Dave shrugged.

“Depends on the lighting, but, yeah.”

“Why don’t you tell people?”

“My friends know, but, I guess I just like to see other people wonder why I wear them. They never guess.”

“And here I was thinking you were an asshole for months because you didn’t think of mentioning it. Dave Strider, you are an idiot.”

“But I’m your..”

Jade suddenly turned the corner of the aisle and they quickly retrieved their hands from one another’s.

They were blushing like kids caught stealing candy in a candy store.

Jade squinted, but said nothing.

“Rose and her mom decided they wanted to adopt another cat.”

“They shouldn’t be allowed in pet shops too much,” Dave said, “They are completely defenseless against these creature’s charm.”

“I think it’s really fun!” Jade said, “Too bad Bec is already so much work for me, I think I would have an entire zoo at home!”

“Bec?” Karkat asked.

“He is my dog, and he eats my flowers. He is a huge fluffy thing.”

They joined the Lalondes who were fawning over a small grey ball of fur next to an eye-rolling employee.

“This is the most adorbs kitten I’ve ever held,” said Mom Lalonde cradling the thing in her arms. “I think I’ll call her Henry.”

Karkat and Dave looked at each other with a smile.

“That’s like my History teacher,” Dave said. “So, maybe not.”

“Pumpkin!” Jade proposed.

“Casey!” John added.

“Doritos,” Dave said.

“How about Pompom?” Kanaya said.

“I want to call her Calypso,” Rose decided.

“oh my god, yes,” her mother said.

They didn’t take the cat with them right away, but they reserved her and promised to get the adoption procedures going as soon as tomorrow.

It was about time to go, and as Rose’s mother dropped Karkat off at his place, Dave whispered in his ear,

“See you Monday.”

Karkat smiled and got off the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a Dave shades explanation thing. I wouldn't have had to, but I did. All of this is ironic to Karkat, because though Terezi is blind and unable to see shapes she can see colours perfectly and she loves red, too.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of...stand at the edge of a T rating? Like, to me it is definitively a T rating, but there are some less PG elements in the chapter, so I guess caveat lector for make outs and explicit mentions of sex as the subject of thought and consideration. Nothing traumatizing, just letting you know.

 

Dave was probably more nervous than he should have been, ringing at Karkat’s door like that, but he was. God, they hadn’t kissed in over a month and now finally they were going to be alone and they could get on with it.

A month was a long time, though. What if Karkat didn’t feel like it anymore? What if he only saw him as a really close friend? What if Dave had unknowingly changed his mind? He was hyping this so much, but maybe he had just overblown the feelings of the first kiss and it would feel weird to kiss him again and…

No, of course not. Karkat was still Karkat, and he loved that guy and thought about him often and he wanted to make out with him so badly it hurt.

Karkat opened the door for him. Dave got in, closed the door.

“Hey,”

“Hey.”

Dave brushed his fingers on Karkat’s cheek and then before they knew it they were sucking faces right there in the entryway, and it sent an electric current all through Dave’s body. Yep, he was still into this. In fact, how had he gone without it for over a month? This was goddamn addictive, the taste of Karkat, the little sounds of his rushed breathing, the swift, repetitive motion of it.

“Fuck,” Karkat said, slightly out of breath. “You could have at least waited until you took off your jacket.”

“I’m sorry, I may have been a little enthusiastic.”

“It’s okay, I’m enjoying it too, but perhaps we should find an actual room to do this?”

Dave nodded and took off his jacket, following Karkat into his room.

And then they got enthusiastic.

Like DAMN enthusiastic.

It somehow ended up twenty minutes later with Dave sat on the bed, back against the wall, and Karkat going to down meticulously on his neck.

He was eliciting encouraging short whimpers from Dave. He ran his hand under his shirt, at some point he felt Dave shiver.

“Just, uh, ah, yeah, uh, mmh,”

Karkat couldn’t get enough of that. His finger toyed with the hem of Dave’s shirt. Could he…remove it?

He started rocking back and forth slightly on Dave’s lap, making him gasp.

Suddenly, he tensed up and put his hands on Karkat’s chest, pushing him away gently.

“Oh. No. Ahh, stop. Just. Break. Please.”

Karkat pulled away, Dave was panting.

“Sorry, I mean, shit, uh, I’m just…uh, getting a bit too much into this? I wouldn’t want to, uh, I mean, get hard or, yeah, I’m sorry I know I’m a blushing virgin, but, uh, you’re really working me up dude, like, just, I need to think about naked grandmas for a while here I wouldn’t want to bother you by forcing you into Bonerville I uh yeah.”

Karkat, who was holding his breath thinking he had hurt him or something exhaled with relief.

“Oh, ok, yeah,” He said.

Man, were they eloquent.

“I mean…” Karkat attempted, kneading the sheets with his fingers, “We, uh, it’s not that I don’t want to, like, we could do it if you want…”

“Do…”

“IT.”

“Oh.”

Dave felt a knot in his stomach of excitement and anxiety at the thought. Like, he fucking loved Karkat, but, they had made out twice? He…I mean, he was seventeen, and Karkat was sixteen, so, it would make sense at some point…

“What about protection?”

“I mean; we wouldn’t do anything fancy! Just, if you get it up I could…help you, you know?”

There was a ball of nervousness in Dave’s chest that was more or less turning to panic. He…he wanted this on some level, but he didn’t have enough time to consider it, it was so sudden and he just couldn’t handle it.

“I don’t think I’m ready. No offence. I want it, but…”

Karkat nodded, understandingly.

“Yeah, ok, no problem, I wasn’t pressuring you or anything, we don’t have to it was just a suggestion like that I don’t mind.”

There was an awkward pause.

“I should probably get off you, so you can cool down?” Karkat finally said.

“Yeah, most definitely,” Dave said, a little sass in his voice.

Karkat blushed and got off Dave, who stood up, a bit wobbly, and headed towards the bathroom. Karkat laid face in his pillow, trying to recover from what had just happened. Was he nuts? Of course Dave was a virgin, and they had just been dating for a month. It took Terezi and him at least five months to do it…

He groaned in the pillow. Then he heard Dave cry “Oh my fucking god” from the bathroom.

“Karkat!” Dave said.

Karkat joined him in the bathroom, to find him barely holding in a laugh, trying to be upset.

“Dude, like, you really, really didn’t go easy on the hickeys, did you?”

Ha was pulling on his shirt, displaying an array of pink marks on his neck and throat, clearly visible. Karkat blushed. He _may_ have gotten carried away. The noises Dave had made, plus the fact he was never especially self conscious about hickeys, since he wore sweaters and turtlenecks often…

He facepalmed.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry.”

Dave laughed.

“I guess it’s a good thing we don’t have school tomorrow.”

Karkat was still in self-deprecation mode.

“I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m the worse, I—“

“Nah, it’s fine I mean, sure, it looks like I’m having an affair with a toothless vampire, but I’ll find a way to hide them until they go away.”

“…”

Dave looked into the mirror.

“How long do hickeys last?”

“About a week in my experience.”

Dave nodded, lips pursed.

“Okay…I guess I’ll have to find a solid strategy then.”

“I think make up could work? I mean, we don’t have any concealer here, and even if we did I doubt it would fit you, but it might just work.”

“Yeah, I can go to cvs this evening before I get home, I guess.”

Karkat approached Dave and ghosted his fingers over the marks on his lover’s neck.

He had a half-grin.

“Okay, maybe it was a dick move to give you those without thinking, but I’ve got to admit; they look pretty nice.”

“rude.”

“That was a compliment, you fuckwit.”

“I’m dating a leech.”

“You weren’t complaining when I was making those.”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“Me neither.”

“We need to get a brain cell to share among us, seriously.”

Karkat snickered, then wrapped his arms around Dave’s torso, resting his head on his shoulder and holding tight. Dave reciprocated.

“You want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah, sure.”

 

 --------

About half an hour before Karkat’s dad was supposed to go home, Dave left. His jacket didn’t cover his neck at all, and honestly he was just glad that he didn’t encounter anyone he knew. He stopped at a cvs on his way home, as he had said. Walked lazily around the aisles, fooled around with the testers for make up, including concealers, before settling on the palest tone of the cheapest brand.

He went on roaming the aisles, before coming face to shelf with the condoms.

He stopped and stared.

He looked both ways, so he wouldn’t be caught staring, but the shop was empty and the only noise he really heard was the quiet buzzing of the fluorescent lighting. The knot of anxiety in his stomach he had felt this morning returned, but this time he had more or less summoned it with the purpose of making a sense of things.

He wanted to have sex with Karkat. Or at least, there was a part of him that wanted to, and not since this morning. Not even since they were in a relationship. He remembered the few wet dreams he had had back in January. The subject of _how_ he wanted to have sex with Karkat was another one. Dreams and fantasies didn’t have these sort of physical practicalities, limitations and consequences that reality did.

Firstly, STI’s and the question of protection. Condoms were absolutely necessary for anal, that was sure, but he was also pretty sure he wouldn’t be doing it before…uh, well, before he kind of knew what he was doing, at the very least. He didn’t think hand jobs and stuff like dry humping would really need it. The gray area was around _mouth stuff_. The basic, heteronormative sex talks he remembered receiving the year before at school said that it was possible to contract STI orally. The thing is, the idea of a blowjob with a condom just seemed…weird? It was confusing. He didn’t know.

Secondly, there was also a sort of psychological aspect to it he couldn’t quite rid himself of. He was afraid of it just going completely wrong and he’d end up hurting or getting hurt, just, because he had no idea what he was doing. Or not hurting anyone but being bad in bed and ending up disappointing Karkat. Was Karkat a virgin, too? There was a real possibility he wasn’t, and the disadvantage that gave Dave made him nervous. He wanted sex, but he wanted it to be good, and not awkward or disappointing.

He took a box of condoms of the shelf to look at it more closely. Who even knew how these sizes worked? He considered a bit buying a box, just in case, but ultimately went against it, putting the box back on the shelf. Another time.

He went to pay for his stuff. The cashier, a short teenage girl with lots of earrings and a nonchalant attitude looked at him, then looked at the bottle of concealer on the counter, scanned it, and with a semi-concerned tone asked,

“That’s gonna be all?”

Dave stared at the girl’s face for a while, fully conscious of how the cashier had obviously put two and two together. He didn’t answer right away, and the girl added with a snarky grin.

“Are you sure you don’t want the condoms? I mean, not to be judgy, but your girlfriend does seem rather enthusiastic.”

“Boyfriend.”

“What?”

“My boyfriend did those.”

She looked pleasantly surprised.

“Oh, so you’re gay?”

Dave shrugged.

“Bi.”

The girl’s smile went up to her ears.

“Would you happen to be…are you monogamous, too?”

The question surprised Dave.

“What? I, uh, yeah, yeah, I am.”

Her expression went from hype to slight disappointment.

“Oh, dammit then. I’m pan and poly, so, if you were poly too I would have asked you for your number, but coincidences on that level are pretty rare, I shouldn’t be disappointed. Just gonna go home and cry in the arms of my six girlfriends.”

She stuck out her tongue.

“Just kidding, I only have one girlfriend and she’s awesome. Do you want a bag?”

“Uh, no, I’ll be fine. Thanks I guess for the, uh, theoretical offer.”

“Thanks for not requesting my manager. I’m sorry for my unprofessionalism.”

“Nah, bro, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

She handed him his change.

“For a recent hickey, try to put ice on them, for older ones, warm compresses are the best. They’ll heal faster that way.”

“Thanks,”

Dave took his change and went away. He had outed himself to a stranger a bit on impulse, and he realized he could have regretted it, but as it happened he wouldn’t be too embarrassed if he were to see that girl again.

He climbed up the stairs of his apartment building in a happy mood, but as soon as he turned the handle of the door of his place, he knew something was wrong.

He couldn’t exactly say how he knew it, or why it was, but years of living there had built these sort of instincts toward these things. The lights were off, but there was someone in there.

His presence didn’t just lurk over the apartment as it usually did: it completely shadowed what seemed like the entire world. Dave wanted to run but knew he could not; he had run away too often already.

Bro stood there, not sane.

And Dave stood there too, he stood alone.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a T-rating, but like a French T-rating. In that it's not G for some at least tangible reasons, but, like, not that bad.

 

Dave’s head was buried in his pillow. He was awake, but he wished he wasn’t. He didn’t want to move. He twisted his head away from the fabric of his pillow to breathe, stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

Silence. Silence was a good sound.

His mouth was dry, his body ached all around. There was soreness, bruises, wax in the corner of his eyes, the feeling of dried blood inside his nose, chafed, cracking lips bleeding in more places than where his lower lip had been opened. His head thumped deafly, he was a bit nauseous.

He was fine.

This was like a hangover, he wanted to die a little but in a couple days he would be fresh as new. Possibly. Today, however, just getting out of bed seemed like a bad idea.

Feeling anything seemed like a bad idea. He needed to focus on his breathing, possibly get a few more decades of sleep. If he could just tell his brain to get the fuck out of under a steamroller. He picked up his phone.

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: hey man

TG: i just wanted to tell you im sick today so ill have a rest and i wont come

TG: see you like tomorrow or in two days or something

 

He didn’t even wait for an answer. He tried himself for the vertical position, mostly succeeded. This was fine. He slugged his way to the bathroom.

One good thing about when these things happened is that they never happened twice in a close interval of time. Chances are he wouldn’t even see bro for a couple of days, and if he did he would act, not nicely, but cordially, approvingly. Probably Dave could even find an extra amount of money in the couch soon. That was good, he would need it for the trip and tournament next week. But God, at what cost?

He shook two ibuprofen capsules into his hand and swallowed them dry. He then leaned into the sink and let the water pour into his mouth and face.

Why the fuck did he act like this? Bro had his very conscientious and specific way of acting, especially towards Dave, but the more Dave grew the less he made sense of it. The most it had seemed to achieve was bend Dave into an aloof weirdo who could only get close to people if he hid all of his life to them. Cool my ass, this was bullshit. This wasn’t him. This was just a shadow puppet of who he really was.

A puppet. This seemed to be most of what his bro wanted from him, a cool ironic flesh puppet he could parade like those pageant moms and their offspring they confounded with Barbie dolls. And then what?

Then he would fuck off and wander away, wondering what the fuck he was supposed to do with his life apart from pure identity survival.

He looked at his own face. There was nothing much to see except for a teenager with darker spots on his face and neck. It made him queasy how the two types of bruises matched. There was a dark line on his bottom lip. He knew it was red, but he couldn’t see it, not without his shades. He swallowed a couple of times, trying to make moisture stay in his mouth, and the contents of his stomach under his throat.

He shivered. The light hair on his arms raised slightly as the sight of himself, as himself, finally sunk. It was horrifying, it kept both wanted and unwanted marks on his skin. They would both fade away together.

He walked back to his room, lumped on his bed, stared with intent at the cards motifs of his sheets, played absentmindedly with them. As the effect of the ibuprofen settled in, his pain eased away, he fell back asleep.

When he woke up, he had changed his mind. He was in much better shape: most of his headache had receded, he was sore and tired, but not quite as much, and he was yearning to see Karkat. He needed it, to talk to someone, to be close to him, to hear his voice. Briskly, he got dressed. He had still his concealer in his jacket pocket, but after a quick glance at the mirror he said fuck it. He couldn’t hide his lip; he didn’t feel like trying to appear a certain way to the people he would meet. Go ahead, stare, that’ll sure be helpful.

TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist

TG: change of plans im coming

TG: i need to see you.

 

He barely registered the bus ride. His mind was grey, foggy, avoidant. He needed to get to Karkat’s place, then everything would be all right.

It’s not before he was met with Karkat’s face melting with shock and worry in front of him that he realized he didn’t know what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do.

“Dave? What happened? Your face…Oh my God Dave, answer me!”

Dave walked in, stared at the ground, said nothing. He took off his jacket and shoes mechanically, with Karkat still pressing him for an explanation, desperately hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was.

It was what he thought it was, and that’s why Dave couldn’t tell him.

Dave walked in Karkat’s room, sat in the space between the bed and the wall, a sort of nook just large enough to welcome him, and elbows on his knees kept a blank face.

There wasn’t even an upset feeling to be read, it was just distance. Karkat crouched in front of him, his pressing tone having softened, his hand hesitantly reaching to touch Dave.

Dave let himself be touched. He let Karkat’s hand press on his arm, caress his cheek, pet his hair.

Then he snapped.

He snapped as his boyfriend was passing his hand through his hair, he let out a loud cry, almost a scream. Then another. He let himself fall forward into Karkat’s arms and his wails led to tears. Karkat took off the shades from his face. He teared up like a toddler, with all the strength of his lungs, letting drool and snot and tears mix on his face and dribble onto Karkat’s shirt. His face twisted and wringed until it was painful, and then some more. He took short pauses to catch his breath, inhaling loudly and irregularly. Letting one upsetting thought flow after the other until he wasn’t even exactly sure why he was crying anymore, only knowing that it made him feel good to let himself go like that. He felt grateful that Karkat was holding him tenderly like that, then hated himself for ruining his shirt. He felt upset at himself for being such a whimp and for the world for having him pushed to this. He felt bad for having turned down Karkat yesterday and for the fact that he didn’t dare to display affection in public. He felt sad about how intensely he missed his friends, how much he envied them, about how confused and tired he was.

He didn’t know how long he cried. But at one point, he had exhausted all of what he had in himself to keep him wailing, and he calmed down, panting. He focused on the feeling of Karkat’s hands in his hair and on his back, rubbing gently, patiently. His breathing came back to a normal level, his mind to a more or less coherent state.

“He’s so bad. He treats me badly. I hate it.”

“I hate everyone and everything that has even the mere intent of hurting you,” Karkat replied.

“There is nothing you can do about it.”

“I’ll go beat the shit out of him in person if it’s necessary. I’ll talk to my dad. We’ll shelter you.”

“I don’t want complications. I don’t want to go through all this trouble for just a year I have left with him.”

“That’s too much already.”

“…”

Dave was silent, he didn’t know how to explain himself. He didn’t know why he insisted upon staying any more than he could explain it. Karkat looked at his absolutely disgusting, wet face.

“You want to take a shower?”

Dave nodded. Karkat handed him a clean towel and he locked himself in the bathroom, stripped, then let the warm water pour on his body and soul. It couldn’t heal him, but it did make him feel better. It did dissolve what was left of his crying mess, the few stray feelings that couldn’t be washed away with tears. When he got out Karkat, in a fresh shirt, was waiting for Dave. He hugged him tightly, affectively. He was both trying to comfort Dave and convert his own frustration and worry, putting everything in a hug he didn’t intend to let go. Dave hugged him back just as tightly, just as possessively.

When Karkat looked at Dave he felt weird, too. A bit guilty. Seeing his love bites drowning in a sea of salt poured on an open wound made him realize at what point he didn’t deserve Dave, at what point he couldn’t even prevent him from getting hurt by his guardian. He wanted to make amends, he didn’t know how, and it pained him.

In their tight grip, Dave started squirming…no, grinding against him. Karkat lift up his head only to be met with an intense kiss, one passionate, yes, but also one a bit desperate. He let himself be taken by the sea salt taste of the kiss for a while, but quickly stopped reciprocating.

Dave, only dressed with a towel around his hips, pressing them intently against Karkat, barely took notice of his lowered enthusiasm. He parted slightly from the kiss, pressing his forehead against Karkat’s, he said,

“Let’s do it. I want to do it. Let’s have sex. We can.”

Karkat’s whole body tensed. Dave was there, nearly naked, pressing, desperate, infinitely tempting. He paused for a moment, thought, and then gently pushed Dave away, who whined.

“You didn’t want to yesterday, and I don’t know what got you to change your mind, but I don’t trust it.”

Dave pouted, he who thought there would be no opposition to it. If not now, when? He was in perfect control of his mental faculties. At least to the extent that someone hornier than those hot singles in your area could be.

“If you still want it when those wounds heal, I’ll be fine with it too. Just, not now.”

Dave nodded reluctantly.

Karkat caressed his cheek and cupped it to get their eyes to meet.

“I love you Dave.”

“I love you too.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've heard of: Gay ice skating anime  
> Now get ready for: Gay history nerds fanfiction

 

Dave, Karkat and the entirety of the history club including the teacher were all gathered in the downtown terminal. That was where intercity and interstates buses left. The morning was relatively cold for late April, but still the excitement kept the students warm.

The competition only started Friday, with the second day being on the Saturday, but they left a day early so they could spend the afternoon sightseeing the historical locations of Boston and enjoy time as teams. Nevertheless, frenzy about the tournament buzzed between all of these nerds like a bee on cocaine. Aradia was lecturing Dave in a crashcourse on the other schools that would be present as Karkat and Nepeta commented.

“We are a pretty good team, overall,” she said. “George Sand tends to always have a team in the top 10 of the forty teams or so that partake in the competition. Often we even break the top five, and last year we ended fourth, just short of the podium. Saint-Joseph Catholic school is the best team, they’ve finished first for three years in a row and they study like crazy for this.”

“Against small teams they often scored in the thousand points!” Nepeta said.

“They seem nice at first, but you can see in their eyes how fucking condescending they are in actuality. At least the Corday Academy snobs acknowledge that they look down on us.”

“Last year Corday Academy didn’t score very well, they finished eight. I think the few years they reached the podium were mostly due to two very performing students who graduated. They don’t study like Saint-Joseph Catholic school. They are still worthy opponents, not to be underestimated, and yes, they are usually quite rude.”

“Well, it’s not like we’re special, they act like this towards all schools,” Nepeta corrected.

“Unlike Saint-Joseph. Two years ago we faced them in final—I say we but only Aradia was part of the team that made the cut at the time, my team finished thirteenth—and then the year afterwards we lost to them pretty hard in the preliminaries and they’re acting like disappointed rivals ever since,” Karkat added.

“There are twenty-five teams that rank to make the cut for the tournament on the Saturday. They are determined by the matches tomorrow in the preliminaries, we’ll dispute six matches, three against randomly picked teams and three against teams that ranked similarly to ours last year. The three first will probably be the easiest, if we are lucky. Our number of victories and amount of points per match will determine our ranking. Then on the Saturday, we confront other teams in a traditional tournament fashion. If we rank eighth or higher, we jump automatically to eighth of finals, skipping the sixteenth.”

“I’d say this is complicated,” Dave commented, “but I don’t think I was in the right to expect anything else.”

“Just focus on our game strategy,” Karkat told him, “we’ll manage of keeping track of who is more dangerous and how we need to win,” he turned to Aradia. “Is the answer machine from Ernest Rutherford still there?”

“No, they’ve graduated. I think Ernest Rutherford won’t be much of a challenge this year.”

Dave took a gander at the other students. Two sophomore guys sat against the wall were playing on their 3Ds and talking, a quiet junior student with braids, the name of whom he should know but had forgotten was listening attentively to Aradia’s explanation with them, Timothy, a blonde charismatic sophomore, was in a vivid conversation with two freshmen, and two other freshmen girls were sat on their bags, giggling around the content of a phone screen. Mrs. Henry was in vivid conversation with the Ticketing employee. Their bus was set to leave in about half an hour. Dave knew all of the other players by face, and absolutely talked to each of them at some point, but because they were younger and a bit detached from him, they were still mostly just familiar faces and nothing more. He may have doubted a bit in his capacities at first, but he was still a better player than half of the people gathered there. There was a big gap between Freshmen/sophomore players, who mainly participated for fun and experience, and the junior/senior players, who wanted to prove their skills. He was the worse player of his team, but still one of the best players overall.

All of last week he had binge watched documentaries with Karkat, but still didn’t feel ready. He was more nervous because he felt that he was more of a burden to his team than anything else. Ironically enough, his teammates were also the ones to have more faith in him and they were going to be disappointed the most.

Their bus finally arrived to the gate and they boarded together. Dave heard Nepeta ask Karkat whether he’d sit with her, but he answered, embarrassed, that Dave had already asked and he’d said yes. Nepeta, disappointed, nodded, but then sent a slightly threatening glare towards Dave. Who suddenly remembered that Nepeta had a crush on Karkat. It didn’t actually stopped being a thing that was true or anything. Still, most times it had felt irrelevant, and he just hoped that it wouldn't affect the team's performance during the weekend.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You can't just come back three months after having posted nothing on your fics and pretend you never stopped writing."  
> "of course I can"

“Nyaaaaaaaa!”

Nepeta cannonballed into the pool, more or less against certain safety rules established. It was unlikely to cause problem though, since the moment they walked into the pool the few people loitering around found it a perfect excuse to leave. So it was just Dave, Karkat, Aradia, Nepeta and those two guys that shared Dave and Karkat’s rooms, the blonde and brunette sophomores who were playing DS that very morning. Jeremy and Ryan? Ryan and Blake? Dylan and Tommy? Dave couldn’t remember their names no matter how hard he tried. He had resigned to calling them B&B.

Anyway, Nepeta splashed away, heightening the glee of the small group, sprouting protest from Karkat, which got him shoved in the shoulder by Aradia.

Their voices echoed in the warm and humid room. All that: the smell of chlorine, the odd fluorescent lighting, the darkness that peered through the panel windows and gave them an illusion of intimacy even though anyone passing through the parking lot of the Holiday Inn could see each and every of their action, all engraved in Dave’s psyche into markers of happiness, as did the feeling of Rose’s bathroom or Karkat’s bed. Even though he was starting to get wrinkled fingers from having been in the pool for so long, even though he was starting to be maybe kind of cold, even though he could not be as explicitly lovey-dovey as he had wished with Karkat. Even if he ended up fucking up big time tomorrow, at least he could say that he had fun.

He had kept his glasses even in the pool, a thing which brought its endless teasing from basically all of his comrades, but unlike at the beginning of the year it actually felt rather genuine. As Karkat changed his mind about him most others followed, maybe with the exception of a reluctant Nepeta. She was kind in manners to him, no doubt, but she still had behind her voice and behind her smiles a certain envy peeking through. Even that, though, faded away with time. This morning had been the exception; the resurgence of an old thing Dave had gladly pushed aside.

Somehow, the play of the teenagers had receded to the point that they were almost calm. Aradia was sitting on the side of the pool, chatting along with B&B and Nepeta. Karkat was shuffling uncomfortably in the four feet of chlorine water, crossing his arms over his chest to try and avoid shivering.

“The thing with the natives,” Aradia was saying, “Is that nobody really knows where we should go from where we are now. It’s true that the crimes that have been committed against them are irreparable, but their inclusion into mainstream society and the promotion of their culture doesn’t lie either in just leaving them alone. Yet, that’s what most governments seem prone to do, apart from showing up to a few traditional ceremonies, because trying to untangle their condition is complex, and doesn’t bring much popular appeal.”

“I, for one,” said Blondie, “Think we should just leave them alone. White people have fucked up enough already that everything we do just make it worse. Lets not take what they have, lets not meddle in their affairs, and it ought to get better sooner or later.”

“That’s just an excuse to toss aside the visibility that they need. Sure, some of their affairs should be left to their own devices, but we should also promote actually listening to them and their issues. Some of those issues are most certainly not going to get solved if we just sit back and—“

The door suddenly clicked unlocked on Mrs. Henry. She glared at them.

“I’m sorry kids, I know you’re having fun, but it would be time for you to go back to your rooms and prepare for sleep. I won’t force you to turn off the lights or anything, but don’t forget we need to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow.”

A few faces winced.

But the group got out of the pool and coated themselves with the coarse white-beige hotel towels, gathering up their stuff and, still damped, roamed the hallways and elevator up to their respective rooms. It was decided that they would all take turns to the shower, and for the four boys, Karkat went first.

In the meanwhile Nepeta peaked her head through the boys’ room’s door, made some small talk and as casually as she could, asked Dave for a small chat.

Just the two of them.

She took him into the hallway, bodies a little dryer but still pretty cold and with eyes sore and hair squeaky. She didn’t look exactly sure what she wanted to say. Dave mostly wanted to run away and get back into his room and preferably get a warm shower.

“Look…” she started. “I…I guess I’m sorry? I’ve been kind of a jerk to you this year. I’m not proud of myself. I came to realize it, then Aradia talked to me and…I just think it’s important that we settle this? I don’t actually have any harsh feelings towards you, you look like a nice guy…this was more about Karkat.”

“hm-hm,” said Dave, nodding in not being sure what to say to that.

“I’ve never told anyone but…I had pretty big feelings for him? Still do? I don’t know.”

She laughed almost as a meow.

 “They’re not very common the sort of guys like him who like the things I also like…sometimes. But he obviously doesn’t like me back, took me long enough to accept that one.”

It was odd seeing the perpetually grinning and cat-punning and excited small girl in such a state of seriousness. Though she still had a vague likeliness to the sad cat face emoji. Was that even an existing emoji? Anyway, she gave that impression. She was almost pitiful like that, trying to stay proud in the face of what was to her some pretty intense confessions.

“I don’t know what is between you and Karkat, you’re probably just good friends even if I totally ship the two of you now…but I just needed to say I don’t hate you. That’s really all.”

“Uh, well…that’s good to know,” Dave chocked out.

He idly wondered if the shipping thing was just Nepeta being Nepeta or if it was really that obvious between him and Karkat.

“I…I don’t hate you either, I guess I was mostly just uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to act around you. You know, Karkat really sees you as a good friend of his, too, so…”

“yeah, I guess I’m happy being his friend. Maybe it’s for the best after all. I’ll find someone else some day.”

“I guess you can’t really force those feelings…”

“I guess not.”

“uh.”

“Um,”

“Yeah”

Nods.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

They shook hands a bit awkwardly, then Dave went back into his room. Finally got his shower. Then they did whatever they had to do before going to bed, after a few cop outs closed the lights and talked for a while the four of them in the dark. Of life and other things, as one does in those situations. Maybe (?) an hour and a half later, the bed across the room showed no sign of awokedness. Even Karkat seemed to be sleeping. Dave had a hard time doing so, he wasn’t the type to fall asleep on command. He was nervous and frankly a bit hyped to be right besides Karkat like this, even if it was right next to two random dudes. He whispered.

“Karkat?”

Karkat groaned lightly in acknowledgement.

He was facing away. Dave slid his hand on his boyfriend’s waist, rubbing gently.

Mixed response of annoyance and appreciation.

Dave shuffled a bit closer.

“They’re asleep?” He asked.

“I think so,” shrugged Karkat.

Dave breathed into his neck a little. A semi-noiseless response, almost like a purr, let Dave know that it was good.

“Go to sleep,” Karkat ordered him without conviction.

“I can’t sleep.”

Karkat sighed.

Dave rubbed his hand from Karkat’s hips to the front of his chest, slowly, trying his best to not make it too sensual and failing just a little. It was just so nice to spoon like that. It was still casual, but the press of their body reminded Dave of hot sloppy make outs and this temptation of being so close from…doing things with Karkat, but never going through with it.

“Karkat?” He asked again.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“Are you a virgin?”

Karkat turned his head towards Dave briskly and despite the darkness, Dave could clearly imagine his exasperated look. But then he went back to how they were positioned a second before, paused a bit and just answered:

“No.”

“Hm,” Dave said.

He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing: on the one hand, if they were to do it, they wouldn’t both be scuffling in the dark, trying to figure out what to do, on the other hand he would now be held to some standards and be the blushing virgin who infuriatingly didn’t know shit.

“it was with Terezi, right?” He investigated further.

“Yeah.”

“Is…is it weird that I’m asking that?”

“I don’t think it’s especially weird.”

“okay, then how was it?”

“okay, now it’s getting weird.”

“Sorry.”

“It was nice. I guess. I mean now that I don’t feel anything for her those memories are kind of just…a bit dulled from what they were when I was still into her, but in the end even if it was somewhat awkward at times, I liked it.”

“Awkward?”

“I think it was pretty much inevitable, I mean, it was our first time and also I think every time to try to do it with somebody new you have to go through that awkward phase. Sex is not as romantic as I had been led to believe.”

“huh,”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, otherwise people wouldn’t do it.”

“Is it still kind of romantic or, like, is it really just gross teenager hormones mixed with bestial needs?”

“Dave.”

“What.”

“There is a lot of different levels, all I’m saying is that it’s rarely much of a candle-lit sexy montage. It can still be romantic. Though with you I have my doubts.”

“Dude, I kissed you on valentine’s day I am the most romantic dude you have ever met.”

“You gave me pop tarts the next time you saw me.”

“Are you telling me that was not smooth?”

“No, it was extremely dorky. But kind of cute.”

“That’s what you love about me.”

“It is on the top of the list, yeah.”

Dave kissed Karkat’s nape and jaw softly.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Karkat murmured.

Dave sniffed Karkat’s hair and let his hands move around a bit more freely, all the way down to Karkat’s thighs and under his pajama shirt. It was all very much pleasant until Karkat sternly hushed him, reminding Dave that there were actual other people in the room. With regret, Dave retrieved his hands from Karkat’s body to tangle their fingers together. They fell asleep not long after that.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting close to the end guys.

 

Dave would have thought funny the teenage faces drooling in their McPancakes and holding on for dear life to their McCoffee if it wasn’t for the fact that he looked exactly like the rest of them. The fresh weather of early April morning, the sort of alcohol-free hangover from the night before and the fast food breakfast had merged in a weirdly distinctive mood. It tasted like the sore-throat inducing air of Hotels and the beginning of the season of dry feet. It tasted like them walking one and a half mile to their destination because that was the most efficient transport they had at hand. Tasted a lot like McDonald’s coffee, physical exhaustion and mental hype.

It was an old school, or rather, a mildly recent high school set into an old repurposed convent. The cool neo-gothic architecture of the outside was somewhat lessened by the aging fluorescent lighting, badly restored staircases and eight layers of beige paint that characterized the inside. In the cafeteria dozens of students from all over New England buzzed around, each with a distinctive neck lanyard exposing their name and school. Their group found a table they hereby claimed property of George Sand High. Matches would not begin until about an hour still, and upon looking at the time table, Dave learned that even then, his team would not be disputing in the first round of matches anyway. There were six matches per team and eight time slots: Dave’s team would have two matches in the morning and four in the afternoon. They were allotted 45 minutes each, though most often they lasted about half an hour, and in rare cases, longer than an hour. Dave had hardly followed the whole system, but looking at the timetables it somewhat became a bit clearer. Somewhat. He still didn’t know how they would be classed for the tournament part tomorrow, and how the teams they had been put up against were chosen. Aradia told him it was a bit like hockey, but that certainly didn’t help him in any way. He wasn’t a big hockey fan. Karkat told him that it was a bit like hockey because this format of tournament started somewhere in Canada and that whatever competitive format of anything Canada produced, it was somewhat like hockey. Such as improv. Dave asked him if the referees for this tournament would have whistles and black and white shirts and Karkat said no. For the most part they were college students in History and Politics majors looking for extra credits, or teachers without teams. They were waiting for the first match when someone walked to their table with a big “Hey!” and a smile.

It took a second for Dave to put the face in front of him on a memory, but when he did it shook him.

“The cvs girl?”

“The hickeys guy.”

“Please don’t remind me.”

“Okay.”

She was wearing the shirt of Marianopolis, which was Rose’s school.

“You go to Marianopolis?” Dave asked.

“I’ll let you guess that,” she leaned on the table nonchalantly.

“I have a friend who goes there.”

“Really? What’s their name? Maybe I know them.”

“Rose. Rose Lalonde.”

“Oh my god. You’re a friend of Rose?”

“yeah.”

“It’s a small world.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I know Rose, I’m in the LGBT club with Kanaya. I talked to her a few times. Cool girl.”

“She’s one of my best friends.”

“I guess we were fated to meet sooner or later then. Name’s Roxy. I’ll tell you a secret. There is a surprisingly strong amount of bi and ace people in this tournament. Kind of like gay people and musical theater. Guess it’s our thing.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

“You’d be surprised. That’s my theory anyway, Art is gay and History is bi. That’s how it is.”

“And the ace part?”

“That’s my buddy who’s here with me. Anyway, when’s your first match?”

“in an hour.”

“Oh, ok, mine’s in like fifteen minutes. I’m on Marianopolis’ second team.”

“Wait, don’t we have a match against you this afternoon?”

“Possible. I take matches one at the time. We’re not going to end up in the top ten, that’s for sure. I’ll come cheer you on if I got the time.”

“Cool. Well, we still want to study a bit before our first match, but I may come and try to cheer you too some time.”

“Nice. Well, I have to go I guess. See ya!”

“see ya.”

Then she left. Karkat, who was there silent the whole time just glared weirdly at Dave.

“Hickeys guy?”

“Remember last week? Well, after that I went to cvs and she was the cashier and she didn’t let me go off easily, let’s say.”

“I don’t like her. She rubs me the wrong way.”

“You don’t like who?” Aradia who was getting out of the bathroom asked.

“Some girl from Marianopolis.”

“Oh. What did she do to deserve that?”

“Nothing,” Dave cut Karkat, who was going to justify himself.

“Whatever,” He rolled his eyes.

The two other teams of George Sand were off to their matches, along with Nepeta who wanted to cheer them.

Their match came before they could know it, and though the first questions were a bit off, by the middle of the match the team had more or less picked up their pace. Aradia was a real machine, Karkat backed her off nicely, and Dave and Nepeta only had a few moments where they could prove themselves. There were some individual questions thrown into the mix of the match, Dave nervously failed both of them but did give a correct answer during the flash questions. He felt like he wasn’t much of a worthy player, but they still won the game by a fairly wide margin to the point the opposite team was more or less resigned to lose even before half the match was done. They cordially shook hands and did small talk with the other team at the end of the match.

At least from there the ice was broken. Their second match was a closer call, against Corday Academy, the verdict of the match losing by ten points, the verdict of his teammates being “Stronger than last year, but still not as strong as two years ago.” The lost match would bump them down quite a bit, but they still gathered enough points to not be completely out of the potential top 10 of the preliminaries. During the lunch break, a TV screen with an excel doc displaying the current rankings of the team was shown. With one match won and one match lost, they ranked twentieth. Aradia told them not fuss about it. They had much more points than any of the ranks directly above them. Dave was so confused by the rankings, he just shrugged it off.

Their next match was against Marionopolis and Roxy’s team. While the match was a lot of fun and pretty relaxed in atmosphere despite the usually formal rule, only one of the students within their team was really consistently able to answer questions, that were becoming more and more difficult as the day went on. From concerning major presidents, the questions went to short-termed secretaries of state, from the dates of beginning and ends of world wars the questions became about the parties involved in this or that treaty. They won with a large margin, but got along surprisingly well with Marianopolis. The losing team was pretty much ready to surrender the tournament and just go an root for them tomorrow.

They won their two other matches, and at the end of the day were up against Saint-Joseph Catholic school. That team in particular had been winning all of their matches and almost terrorizing the entire tournament. It wasn’t to the point of all conversations turning into whispers at their approach, but not far from it. They looked nice enough, joking within themselves and with other teams, but they did look at Dave's team as if it were a group of little elementary school kids Saint-Joseph had been told to compete against.

That match was hard. Even if Aradia and Karkat knew many answers, they were never fast enough on the buzzer to make it a fair game. In the individual questions, Dave was sweating so much that he had to wipe his palms on his shirt in between every question where he was grasping on the buzzer desperately. He did his best to answer the individual questions, by luck he did, but he had no other opportunity to bring a correct answer. The match was tight, or at least is seemed to be, and no question went unanswered. When the referee announced that it was over, Dave had cramps in his stomach from restricted breathing. The score was 860 to 910, victory for Saint-Joseph. They had both lost their match and scored the highest score of the day. Average scores for a match for teams ranking in the top 15 were between 300 and 500. In the aftermath the rumor got out that it was the most cumulative points ever scored in a match, the theoretical maximum amount of points that could be won in a match being 2000. The highest cumulative scores that had happened until then were around 1300/1400.

When Saint-Joseph shook their (clammy) hands, they did seem to mean their “good game” pretty sincerely, probably the best compliment that could come from them.

Once compiled, the rankings appeared on the television screen. Saint-Joseph was first, of course, Corday was second, two teams they hadn’t faced were third and fourth, and they were fifth, even if in score they ranked second. But, because they had lost two of their matches, they fell behind. Apart from Saint-Joseph, all the teams in front of them had lost only one match.

The two other George Sand team had ranked fifteenth and thirty second.  The third team would not play in the tournament, but the second team, that featured B&B and the braided girl (Maria. Dave now knew she was named Maria), was pretty proud of itself.

After a long day, a solid twelve hours after waking up, they were now dismissed for the day and could finally go eat something for dinner. It had been long and tedious, and yet seemed to have passed rather quickly. Roxy added him on snapchat. With his group, they went to a pizzeria before finally getting back to the hotel, physically and mentally exhausted.

(received a snap from Roxy)

(a pic of a sushi plate with the caption: so is ur bf here or)

(Dave sent snap)

(A pic of the parking through the hotel window with the caption: yeah)

(received a snap from Roxy)

(a pic in a restaurant of her face with novelty glasses filter captioned: noice)

(received a snap from Roxy)

(Slightly differently angled selfie, same filter, with caption: was it da guy next 2 u this morning?)

(Dave sent snap)

(pic of hotel nightstand, with the caption: yeah)

(received a snap from Roxy)

(pic of Roxy doing a thumbs up: Good catch)

(Dave sent snap)

(black screen with caption: I know right)

(received a snap from Roxy)

(Blurry pic of her face captioned: sorry gtg, see ya tmr)

(Dave sent snap)

(black screen with caption: did your team rank)

(received a snap from Roxy)

(Blurry pic of ??? with caption: yea boi, 24th)

(Dave sent snap)

(see you tomorrow then)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the cvs girl/ roxy was an oc originally...but then I was like wtf is that oc doing there and also she kind of makes me think of roxy so I guess we get a random roxy at the end? Yeah.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some tournament shit, as every shipfic(?) should end. After this, there is only the epilogue left.

It wasn’t yesterday that Dave had begun to consider the possibility of coming out, at least at school. It was weird, navigating the world right next to Karkat and never really knowing who thought they were what. He kind of wanted to parade Karkat proudly, if he was also scared of the teasing and weird looks. But the more time passed, the more he felt ready to just take it. Given his school, it was pretty unlikely that it would end up in some school wide reprehension. Being queer was an okay thing to be, and those who disagreed kept their mouth shut as should anyone on the subject of the life of people that didn’t concern them. Karkat seemed to have no excessive trouble. Those who found queer relationships any shade of reprehensible to begin with were hanging in different social circles that would likely never even start hearing about him. Possibly.

And its not like Bro would ever enquire the school about all that.

Point is, the more time passed, the more the consequences of not being perceived as straight among his peers seemed to lessen. Anyway, it wasn’t like the whole history club wasn’t already above suspicious. Or as if Karkat’s and his’ respective guards were not thinning by the day. Somewhere, that’s what he hoped could happen, that they would be less and less subtle to the point where everybody knows about them without them having to say anything. As for Karkat’s dad, Karkat was pretty sure he would be okay with it, but still preferred not to say it so he and Dave could just keep hanging out on their own without being chaperoned like 19th century lovers.

There could be _some_ advantages to the closet.

That’s what they talked about the second night. They more or less agreed to let go of the whole secrecy thing, at least in front of their friends. Like…if they were asked about it from now on, they could just say “Yeah, I’m dating him.”

That sort of stuff.

They didn’t plan on putting a show or a reveal party. In the morning, still, they acted as usual. Their team accessed the second round automatically, because of how they placed, meanwhile their second team was playing. It won its match by a thin margin. They lost at the second match, but Dave didn’t get to witness it because his own team was playing. They won and moved to the quarter finale. This was perhaps his best match so far, as he answered both his individual questions and three other ones. They won rather easily, even if the team they were up against had ranked higher the day before. Then it was the half finales and they were up against Saint-Joseph again.

This was shit, because they were strong enough that they would have made the finale if it hadn’t been for the fact that they lost their match against Corday Academy. But they lost, and it made them rank lower, and none of them really thought that they could beat Saint-Joseph.

Dave was this close from blacking out from the stress when Karkat pulled him into a bathroom stall.

“Dave. Calm down. This is not the end of the world, we’re doing fine.”

“We’re going to lose.”

“Hell no. We have nothing to lose here, Dave.”

“I’ve been the most useless player of our team the whole time. Saint-Joseph has four players as strong as you and Aradia. Nepeta comes close, and I’m just pulling you all behind.”

“First of all, bullshit. Second of all, we _know_ they are strong and study like beast and that’s what makes them dangerous because everyone freaks out when they’re up against them. We are the only ones who can beat them in this whole congregations. The underdogs. Literally everyone who has been eliminated so far is betting on us, but they won’t be upset if we lose.”

“That’s still a heck lot of pressure.”

“if we fail, we can always get the bronze medal. And come back to kick their over bloated arses next year. The silver medal is the best any of our teams ever got anyway. If we beat Saint-Joseph, we are almost certain to win.”

Dave was calmed down a little bit. It’s true that somewhere, no matter where he went from there, he would still end up better than he ever thought he would have when first stepping into that History classroom in the beginning of the year. A boyfriend and a top five position in a history tournament was definitely the most that fainting ever brought him. He was ready. Almost.

“Can I get a good luck kiss?” He asked cheekily.

Karkat gave him a defiant stare.

“You’ll get a victory kiss if we win this match.”

“In front of everyone?”

“Is that what you want?”

“yeah…I think.”

“Then it’s game on.”

 

The class where the match was taking place was packed with spectators. There were two teams that even had a slight chance of defeating even once Saint-Joseph Catholic school, and those teams were George Sand high and Corday Academy. Because of the historical match of yesterday, the balance seemed to tip towards George Sand to be able to defeat their supremacy. Thirty/forty people were present. Dave spotted Roxy in the crowd, sat on one of the desks pushed back to leave space, and she gave him a thumbs up. He was still nervous, but also he felt ready. Once the two judges were able to shut the hectic noise of the crowd, the tension above the team was that of a guillotine waiting to chop their head off. Even Saint-Joseph seemed nervous. Few of the people present were wishing for their victory, they had been sitting on that throne for too long and gotten too complacent about it, and yesterday’s match may have shaken that. A fifty points difference could be easily shaken by a few strikes of luck during individual questions and the flash questions at the end of the match.

The match started. At first, it was rather even, maybe even inkling towards an advantage for George Sand. Every time the judge who was responsible of asking the questions would de-buzz the buzzer and declare “That is correct.” In favor of George Sand high, a wave of nods and held back claps went through the crowd, and a wave of pride went through the players.

\----

(That is correct. Next Question. What newspaper, first published in 1912 in Saint-Petersburg, then became the official publication of the communist party during the Soviet Union?)

“The Pravda.”

(That is correct. Next Question. What Dutch city was freed on the night of the April 13 to 14, 1945 by a single Canadian soldier?)

“…”

(Too long. It was Zwolle. Next Question. Who was the president of France between 1981 and 1995?)

“Mitterand”

(That is correct. Next category. For forty points, identification of a historical figure. For this question only, first name and family name are expected. The value of the answer decreases with each hint, each team can guess after every hint. For forty points: I was born on February 6th, 1911, in Tampico, Illinois)

“Martin Luther King?”

(Wrong. Reply?)

Negative head shakes.

(For thirty points: I was raised in Dixon, Illinois, and I have a license in Economics and Sociology.)

“Ronald Reagan.”

(That is correct. Next question.)

 

\---

And so on so forth. However, towards the middle of the game, Saint-Joseph started to display a more aggressive strategy, buzzing as much as they could before the question ended completely or right after. This could usually cost a lot, because wrong answers before the end of the question deduced points, but they managed it and forced George Sand to try and themselves do it. Before they knew, they had lost 40 points. Only about a quarter of the game was left. They asked the judge responsible of points for the score, a thing rarely done but authorized after each section of the quiz. 560 to 540, to the advantage of George Sand.

They could have won. They were in front. They could have won, but instead it all went down from there. Saint-Joseph continued to play dirty, and they continued to either lose points or not make them. By the end of the match, before even knowing the score, they knew they had lost.

There was a wave of deception going through the crowd, but no surprises. They shook hand, exhausted, with Saint-Joseph Catholic school.

“Can’t wait to go up against you again next year,” grinned an ecstatic girl, the same one who seemed to have been Aradia’s main challenger and the leader of her team.

It was both a compliment, in that George Sand seemed to have regained their Worthy OpponentTM value in the eyes of Saint-Joseph, but also a threat in confirming that she wasn’t even a senior yet and would come back for an encore without fail the next year.

 Whatever. Dave, Karkat, Aradia and Nepeta were exhausted and ready to hop on the bandwagon of people who were done with this year’s competitions, as soon as they would finish going against team whatever that lost to Corday Academy on the other side of the half-finale.

The other half-finale wasn’t over yet. Yadi yada contestations and stuff. They didn’t mind. They hung out in the cafeteria, folding paper boats and playing tic tac toe to pass the time and change their minds. Changing their minds was important, because the historical trivia they had spit out ad nauseam in the last two days was sufficient to give them nightmares for the weeks to come. Sure, they had fun, but right after a defeat when the adrenaline plunges down deeper than the Marianna trenches, there was this sort of apathy that settled easily. Post-purpose depression, kinda.

After god knows how long, some other students finally came to them to say that the other half-finale was settled. Corday Academy had lost.

Wait, what?

Apparently, they initially thought they won, but the other team played a dirty game of contestations and with it snatched a close victory, to the great dame of Corday Academy and even of most participants who thought they could see another close match involving Saint-Joseph. The news was a bit demoralizing. Though they had been better at taunting Saint-Joseph than Corday in their match against them, a Victory against Corday was not guaranteed at all, especially after having faced quite a shitty defeat (true that Corday was in the same position…but still). Their last match, which should have been rather all right considering how most teams apart from Corday and Saint-Joseph were much less competitive (except for that one team that beat Corday with dirty play, apparently. RIP them in the finale), but among those three it was really anyone’s game. They sighed. They thought the bronze medal was basically in their hands, and now it was uncertain. The next game would have to say if they did all of that for naught and glory, or if they did it for a thousand bucks in college scholarship each (first and second prize being respectively five thousand and two thousand five hundred dollars in scholarship).

They were given half an hour before the next match. At first they were just willing to get it over with, but seeing how most of the people still around seemed to still cheer for them, the attention being given almost more to their match because it was going to be much more of a close one, they refilled their spirits.

Of the three top teams, they were the favorite among casual players, because they always played fair and that both Karkat and Aradia had numerous acquaintances in many teams. As opposed to Saint-Joseph, who were nice but too untouchable and vaguely condescending to like, and Corday, who were less all-around dominant but had a poor social attitude that made them disliked, or at best, perceived indifferently.

There was less people to see their match this time around, but still a fair crowd of at least twenty people from different schools, including Roxy who had sent Dave a snap telling him that he was still an awesome player, that their team was like a brave knight dethroning the evil usurper Monarch in the name of the people. Dave had rolled his eyes, but this sort of idea of a knight team was still pretty cool to him. Protecting the widow, widower and the orphan. Made a change from the village fool he was used to being.

The atmosphere was still tense as the match begun. After all, the stakes were not negligible. If anything, Karkat had told him right before the match, the competition for the bronze medal is even more important than the one for gold.

The match with Corday was neck and neck. For each section that one team did better, the other team took the next. They were both too tired to wage a dirty war, but both too proud to let the other team get ahead. There wasn’t even much strategy: questions were taken one at the time, answer at the best of your knowledge, thank you very much. It was less stifling than against Saint-Joseph, but still they could not let their guard down for a single question.

Before the flash questions they asked for their scores. 520 to 520.

Ten questions to go.

Question 1: point Corday

Question 2: Point Corday

Question 3: Point George Sand (Thanks, Aradia)

Question 4: Point Corday

Question 5: Point George Sand (thanks Karkat)

Question 6: no points

Question 7: Point George Sand (Thanks again, Aradia)

Question 8: Point George Sand (Thanks Nepeta)

Question 9: Point Corday

 

Question 10

“In what year did the French revolution ending the second restauration, known as the thr—“

Dave buzzed.

He didn’t wait for the end of the question, meaning that if his answer was incorrect, they would lose ten points, and the match. If he got it right, they would win. Everyone present knew that.

“Yes, Dave?”

“Eight…eighteen thirty.”

The judge nodded.

“That is correct. The match is over.”

They clapped and cheered wildly. Aradia, who was sitting next to Dave, hugged him really hard. The final score wasn’t said yet, but they all knew it. 550 to 540, Victory for George Sand. The judge responsible of the score said it without being heard. At that moment Dave was ready to go and shake hands with the disappointed Corday students, but Karkat grabbed him by the arm, pulled him close and pressed their lips together.

The cheering that was calming down had a new, slightly confused wave shake through it. Dave heard whistles that he knew without even looking belonged to Roxy. Well, for putting on a show, this was putting on a show. Not how he figured it would happen, but honestly not a bad way.

When they parted he looked around to gauge the reactions of everyone. Three of the students of Corday looked offended, but not as much by the homosexuality as just by the general ostentatious display of affection, and the obvious monopoly of the attention. The fourth one was just sporting a sort of corner grin. In the public, mixed reactions and faces between confusion and discomfort, but no one looking about to murder them in a dark alley. Mrs. Henry was sporting an expression of surprise a bit grotesque for a teacher, at that moment she looked more like a movie goer caught in a wildly unexpected plot twist. Aradia was grinning widely and Nepeta’s eyes were about to fall from their sockets. She looked quite close to fainting, too. Blonde guy not-so-subtly elbowed Brunette guy and said something that, to Dave, looked a lot to be something along the lines of “I told you so, bro.”

He relaxed slightly. Roxy winked at him as they crossed glares. He shook the hands of the Corday students, then kept a hand in Karkat’s as they went through the sort of disorganized events that followed the match. The finale would be held later, in a grander context, but they wouldn’t stay until then if they were not to take part in the match. They got the scholarship too, which was pretty cool.

In the bus on the way home, they had their fair share of taunting. Betrayed by their own, no less, who did not shy away from singing “Dave and Karkat, sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” Until Mrs. Henry shut them up. They managed to make everyone understand that while they weren’t especially hiding anymore, they’d still like to remain rather low-key in terms of public presence. The ride home was bittersweet, as most returns are. When you left, you may not have known what waited for you, but you knew part of what you were doing it for. When you return, you know what will be there back home, but you don’t know why you must return to it just yet.

There was a thing though that Dave still looked forward back home, and that was that Karkat had invited him to spend the night at his place tonight, as his dad was absent. The last time before school would start again. No bed neighbors, no pining, no ambiguous motivations. They could go as far as they were comfortable going.

There was not much to see on the highway, and Dave was tired enough that a sort of bitter taste lingered in his entire body, a lactate of the soul. The orange-grey colors of the sky stayed fixed as the grey-brown colors of the ground blurred in motion while he listened to his music. He was holding Karkat’s hand.


	40. Epilogue

Dave woke up and found the both familiar and unfamiliar environment surrounding him. The sheets were soft and warm and he made some pleased noises as he rubbed against them. His phone was buzzing. He took it. It was Rose.

TT: Dave.

TT: I have been reported activity on your subject regarding your love life.

TT: I am not mad, Dave, but I had figured that you would tell me before you told the world.

TT: Maybe I just overestimated your ability to communicate with your friends in a timely manner.

TT: Since when are you and Karkat an item?

TG: uh like valentines day

TT: Dave.

TT: You let me believe all of this time that you were still pining over Karkat, when in fact you were not?

TT: I understand you may want to keep these things a secret, but quite frankly, you had already told me you liked him, the extra step would not have been much of an effort, would it?

TT: But no, you preferred to simplicity a gesture of exhibitionism that I haven’t even found a way to match.

TT: You put me to shame, Dave, how am I supposed to dramatically display my own romantic love now?

TT: You are making me look like a simpleton.

TG: idk get married or something

TG: it wasnt really my idea to do the whole romcom thing

TG: which btw how did you even hear of that

TT: Roxy.

TG: ofc

TT: She somewhat functions as a linking point between all LGBT teenagers in New England, in case you haven’t noticed.

TT: A one-woman hot spot for all of your queer youth gossip.

TG: so it was not a legend that all gay people know each other

TT: Well, it is a mere exaggeration. We all know Roxy and Roxy knows all of us. That is all.

Dave looked on his side to find that Karkat wasn’t there. He sighed, a bit disappointed.

TG: anyway my tournament went well

TG: it was kind of an epic thing

TT: I can believe that. Congratulations on ending third. That is quite an accomplishment.

TG: thanks

TG: man where the fuck are my clothes

TT: Your clothes?

TG: yeah uh

TG: i mean

TG: you woke me up

TT: Where are you?

TG: what do you care

TT: Interesting answer. Are you not at your own place?

TG: oh shut up

TT: I knew it.

TT: Was it nice?

TG: rose

TG: if you pretend i didnt say anything i swear ill never call your mom hot ever again

TT: Mmmm….

TT: Tempting offer, but I think I’d rather know the juicy details of your nightly escapades.

TG: dammit

TT: i could offer you mine in exchange

TG: doesnt kanaya mind

TT: I think we are both quite fond of discussing extensively our love story.

TG: congrats on that i guess

TG: ok all im going to tell you is that yes we did it and yes it was nice and no im not going to tell you anything else

TG: sometimes you gotta keep some things to yourself dammit

TT: All right. It’s as you wish.

TT: I’m just that you’re happy.

TT: This year was by no mean easy for any of us.

TT: But I think we are on the right track in terms of making things better.

TT: becoming adults and such.

TT: Even if it will still take a couple of years for us to be fully independent.

TT: With all that happened with my mom and my love life.

TT: The day last year exactly feels like another life.

TT: Remember when we were all having lunch together under the bleachers, and thought that we were straight?

TT: Remember when the most drama between us was caused by John’s hatred for pastries?

TG: i remember man that feels like long ago

TG: i was such a virgin back then

TT: And now you are not.

TT: How time flies.

TG: i can feel your sarcasm rose

TT: Good, it means I have conveyed it properly. Was it an appropriate time to use it?

TG: guess it wasnt an inappropriate one

TT: I am reassured.

TG: well now that youre catched up on the four one one strider i guess you wont be offended if i have to go

TT: No, I won’t. Take care, Dave

TG: you too

TurntechGodhead stopped pestering TentaclesTherapist

 

Dave stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Right in front of him, his boyfriend, a cup of coffee in hand, contemplating deeply the contents of the refrigerator. He politely waited for Karkat to finish his thought before trying to talk to him. He closed the door, lift his head, and upon noticing Dave smiled brightly, genuinely. So did Dave in return.

“I’m really hungry,” he declared. “And I don’t really feel like starving myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. It was quite a journey. Maybe not like a 100k journey, but a solid 40k journey. Hey, don't laugh, it's the longest thing I've written to date.   
> Besides, above 50k for a love story is maybe pushing it a bit. This story was good for my writing, and it was good for my nostalgia, too.
> 
> Yeah, guess you figured by now that like half of this story is just based on stuff that happened in my life. Somehow I spared you most of the romantic shenanigans of my friends. Except for the pop tarts, that's a romantic shenanigans based on a true story.
> 
> Being young means shoving so much change in so little time. Kind of like writing. 
> 
> I'd like to thank all those who have reached the end of this fic: to even believe that my writing is being read is an odd thing to me. Those who kudo'd, those who commented, you helped me know how people see the things I write. Thank you so much.
> 
> For what comes next...we never know. I have a military au davekat fic to finish, afterwards I may even go somewhere else than Homestuck. Not that I've run out of ideas for it: don't you think that the rosemary in this would deserve its own fic? Or maybe a sort of sequel in a jadefef college au...I've wanted to make a good femlash fic for a while now. 
> 
> In any case, I've rambled enough, and if you have final thoughts on this fic, if you would like to talk to me, ask questions or anything, feel free to do so! I always love attention :P. 
> 
> Kudos to all, and with the hope of seeing you again one day!


	41. Postface and writer ramble

Hey…sup.

Is it pretentious and useless to write this postface and commentary? I feel like it might be, but heck, I’ve got a lot of anecdotes to say about this fic and what went through my mind writing it, so I might as well do it. Read this who may care.

This fic was super sweet to write. I had started it kind of on a whim, without even the slightest intention to see it through, or even post it. I had sent the first chapter to a friend, who liked it, which prompted me to write more just to see how much I could develop it. It ended up being my longest piece of writing to date, and the only finished one.

It was mostly based on my nostalgia for High School, in a sort of weird way that I haven’t been out of it for long enough to have forgotten how shitty it could be at times, and that having moved on I still could recognize some of the things that I was attached to in it. Having been to a semi-private high school in Canada might have been a better experience than many, though. I moved the story to the US for sort of general relatability purposes, but I did consider setting it in Montreal. Even if it is not, I think there is a certain locality to it…

My opinion is that in writing you always have to mix the things that you don’t know with the things you do. The things you know will make your story personal and believable, while the things you don’t will make it exciting, creative and new. The mix of both will allow people to relate to things different from their own reality.

When I started this story I was a desperate science student with an undiagnosed ADHD who still believed that Big Baby would not be president of the United States. Now I am a social science student, medicated and disillusioned, really. In the last year I have: graduated High School, moved houses, changed programs, realized I was asexual, changed habits, changed beliefs, nearly changed identity. 2016 was more than a rollercoaster, it was more like free fall. Some things were lost, some things were gained, nothing was left unchanged, except my own name. But a name is an uncertain thing, you can’t build on it.

Another thing left unchanged is my great love for Davekat, I’d say. It was my first real OTP, and it still is. I tried to change, to go see elsewhere, but no, I always come back to them. The way their relationship balances absurdity and emotional depth is almost impossible to reproduce or find in another ship.

I gave Dave in this fic many ADHD coded traits. These are not necessarily cannon, but they work well with his duality, and allowed me to insert absurdly personal stories to the fic. Taking the wrong bus twice in a row most definitively happened, also on the second round meeting an acquaintance who helped me not turn mad from my own uselessness. Forgetting to make lunches everyday just because I never got into the habit to do it…

The History club was also a real thing, as you could probably have guessed from my extensive descriptions of it. This thing somehow served as both the trigger action and the climax of this story, instead of, idk, the actual romance. Maybe it was better that way, because using romance alone for suspense and plot is somewhat…hard to do, especially in original ways. People can become remarkably passive when it comes to changing their own habits and finding friends or love.

 

On the subject of original characters, I tend to be reluctant to make them. They don’t sell a story, and in many cases they feel as if they are stealing the spotlights of the already existing and beloved characters. But sometimes…

Mrs. Henry is named after my History teacher who invited me to partake in the tournament. Her character is mostly “Neutral Good Teacher”. She could have hardly been cut from the plot. Roxy, or the cvs girl, was originally an unnamed oc, only meant to appear once, but I liked her character so much I just had to make her re-appear briefly…her name was going to be Lola, before I essentially realized that she matched the personality of Roxy fairly well. By fear of having her feel like a self-insert, I made the switch.

Timothy is the only named non-homestuck character of the fic. (well, apart from Maria), and he is a guy who was really part of the actual History Club (It was called Jeunes Democrates, nothing to do with the political party), and who helped with writing Karkat a lot. Not an angry guy, but a charismatic one, who was part of this club as well as vice president of the student council, openly bisexual and generally great guy. Just a little nod to him.

B&B are also based on students I knew, and of whom I can’t remember their name, though I used to know them. One of them was son of a CEO and weirdly rich, the other was most likely gay or bisexual and spoke with this overly offended Quebecois accent that was hilarious to hear, I loved it.

Yeah, the whole “History and politics are bi-ace spectrum disciplines” thing kind of came from the fact that out of twelve-ish people, both years which I partook in the tournament involved very not straight people. A bi girl the first year, Tim, myself (ace) and my friend (gay-demi) the two years, another openly bi guy and Blonde guy the second year. The unexpectedly high rate of queer students certainly contributed to a lot of hilarious situations. I guess from this I make this sort of joke that sport is straight, Art is gay and History is Bi.

The pop-tarts are from that time we had a school project that involved my friend and her crush, that we went to her crush’s house to complete it, that she had brought pop tarts we share during the afternoon, and that to thank her, her crush gave her another box of pop tarts on the following Monday. It was cute, and by that point we had all figured out that her crush liked her back. They have been dating for three years, and are both trying to become animators.

I rambled, rambled, rambled, and for what? I don’t know. Maybe because I’m so glad of the support I gathered for this fic, maybe because I felt like this fic would be incomplete without it, maybe because I want to post another chapter so my story will be put back atop the davekat fics list. It’s not easy to say something about other people’s work, but always very easy to say things about your own. Take this as a comment I am making to everyone who read this fic: whether you commented or not, I think you deserve to know a bit more about my fucked up self, and about the process of writing this fic. I wish you well if you do write. Use your words to paint worlds into existence, to understand yourself and others better than you do now. That is always my goal, though I may reach it or not. Take your time to grow up, and let love guide your way, whichever kind of love it may be.

Sincerely,

Hampermarketplace

P-S: On the school names. George Sand is my favourite female author named George (and overall in my top five authors named George), Corday comes from Charlotte Corday, who was a French revolutionary woman who stabbed some guillotine-happy leader because He Had To Stop, Saint-Joseph was the husband or Mary, mother of jesus, which is just kind of an appropriate name for a catholic school, and Marianopolis is just a literal school I know. Not even one I go to or went to or know someone who went to, just a school I've heard about. Anyway, that's all for today's trivia.


End file.
